What are the long term effects of having your life turn out to be a lie?

by sleepy 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • sleepy

    What do you believe are the long term effects of having your life turn out to be a lie?

    Can a person really be brough up a Jehovahs witness and live that life for 20,30,40 or more years and walk away unaffected?

    Are the effects similair to say a person who doesn't know they have been adopted and finds out only as an adult their "parents" are not their real ones?

    How does believing you are going to live forever , then realising you only have a few years left,and thats it no matter what, effect you?

  • sleepy

    I can't edit my post it should read

    "What are the long term effects of having your life turn out to be a lie?"

    Can someone edit it for me please?

    As you wish ~ Scully

  • Nosferatu

    I doubt anyone can walk away unaffected. Personally, I think I've done an excellent job getting over it all, but I still have a fear of ouiji boards.

  • sleepy

    Thanks scully

  • Scully

    I think the effects are different for each individual, although there are probably some common themes:

    1) There is no hope to Live Forever In Paradise On Earth?

    2) There is no Armageddon? to cause your Eternal Destruction?

    3) There is no Resurrection? of your dead loved ones

    4) You can enjoy the company of your non-JW relatives before they die

    5) You don't have to go in Field Service? or to Meetings? anymore

    6) You can marry someone Not In The Truth?

    7) Your JW family members probably won't go to the wedding

    8) You can celebrate any damn holiday you want, including your birthday and nobody is going to get beheaded in the process

    9) You can talk to anyone you want, without wondering how you can get some Informal Witnessing? in with them, or whether you shouldn't be talking to them because they might be DFd or DAd

    10) You can get as much or as little education as you want, and work in any profession you want

    11) You can stop reading the labels on lunch meat to check for animal by-products (ie, "blood") and can order pizza from any pizza joint in town for the same reason

    12) You can watch whatever TV shows you want and/or drink beer on Meeting Nights?

    13) You don't have to collect Bound Volumes? anymore and can make room on the same shelves for your now-growing DVD collection

  • Gopher

    No way can you spend a long time under the heavy hand of the Watch Tower Society and come away unscarred.

    It's good that there are boards like this where we can vent a little, and gain strength from knowing that others too have believed the lie and had to turn around and make a go of it without having all the certain answers.

    There was an excellent thread started by ConfusedJW recently about there not being a "new system" and that we aren't going to live forever on earth, although we were told it was among God's certain promises.

    I've struggled with mortality, and am trying to embrace the fact that this life terminates and only uncertaintly exists about any afterlife. Each day is precious, the fact that each of us is even born is a miracle. I try to enjoy each day while knowing that life on earth is temporary.

  • Carmel

    The long-term affect has been for me to be very skeptical of everything! I've made it a life-long practice to weigh the evidence more carefully, take advantage of the opportunities to consult with others to get different perspectives before making a major decision and finally learning to trust even when my gut raises the flag! I've come to the conclusion that I have to learn to take risks if I am to enjoy life inspite of my sense that I may be taken advantage of again.. So I guess I will always be an optomist wrapped in the garb of skeptic!


  • onacruse

    At the risk of seeming too simplistic, my answer is:

    "The truth shall set you free."

    and, as a potential (and essential) consequence:

    "To thine own self be true."

    The accumulation of information is not in and of itself the critical factor, though it is an absolutely essential factor. Facing and being honest with ourselves is by far the hardest thing.

    For example: So what if we'd spent 40 years in that religion? How about the corporate executive that spent 40 years in a company that turned out (likely with at least his tacit approval) to be supremely qualified for a "fleecing of the people" award? What options has such a person? imo, the options are as above: Admit to the truth, and admit the truth to yourself.

    And, when it's all said and done, the primal fact of the matter is: that's history, and (to borrow the phrase)--"today is the first day of the rest of my life."

  • mkr32208

    When I first read this I was gonna say somthin' smart like "well worldly kids get over being lied too about santa" but then it occured to me there wasn't anything even the least bit funny about this...

    No, you don't ever get over it...

  • onacruse


    No, you don't ever get over it...

    First: welcome to JWD.

    Second: I disagree.

    For sure, there are things that have happened that we cannot forget, and cannot forgive. For example, those who've been sexually victimized or physically abused...how in the world could any of us (specifically including myself) who've not been 'raped' in that way possibly understand, or expect those victims to "forgive and forget"? For that, I have no answer.

    However! 'Mental' rape is somewhat a different thing. This is something about which we can, individually, do something: face the truth and embrace the truth; ruthless as it may be.

    Perhaps I'm painting this picture with too little color. Nevertheless, this is how it has worked out, and continues to work out, for me.

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