My 13-year old son missed the bus this morning. And demanded that I drive him to school.
From his point of view, I am doing nothing at all, and only pure selfishness is preventing me from driving him a mile in our van. Every other mother would drive their son to school because they LOVE their sons, unlike me.
I know that it is frustrating and disappointing to miss a bus. I've done it many times. I've wished for help at those moments, too.
Yet I said no because there was no reason for his missing the bus aside from it being the result of his wasting time/ignoring the time. He knows he is responsible to catch it, even though I do things to help make it easier for him to do it. He has a bike which he would usually ride in this kind of situation, but which has not been picked up from his friend's home for over a week, despite frequently being told to bring it on home. Finally the weather this morning is crisp and sunny, not raining or galing. He is healthy. He can make it to school on time by walking. (I know: I did it from grade school all the way thru college.)
He just doesn't want to walk, period. He wants to ride. NOW. And he was so angry that I wouldn't consent, he resorted to the usual teenage emotional blackmail: snarling (!) that I am cold-hearted and selfish. I obviously enjoy his pain. He swore that he would never do a kind act for me again--anyone else in the family, but not me. Of course, I don't expect that resolve to hold forever, but the fury and hatred that poured from him was astounding. At this point, there was no way I could see a way to change my answer without appearing to be giving in to a kind of emotional blackmail.
I usually don't try to let things like this affect me... but I have felt torn up since he left.
Is this a problem of my being too strict? Yet I do think, even if that I should have driven, he still has no excuse for solving his anger like this.
Thoughts, insights would be appreciated!!
Oh YAY, the teen years are going to be so fun...