WHAT IF....We changed bible stories as if JW's really were there? (page 2)

jgnat

Nos, would they have disfellowshipped Job's wife for telling him to curse God and die?

CaptainSchmideo

Story of David and Bathsheba:

Nathan tells David, the anointed governing body of God's people, that he has sinned.

David tells Nathan, "Who are YOU to tell ME what to do? I'm Jehovah's handpicked shepherd of his people, and you are just some dissatisfied troublemaker!" Nathan gets banished from Israel, and a lot of nasty rumors are spread about him. When friends of Nathan and Uriah find out the real story, their is a lot of dissension and rumbling in the land, resulting in David having spies within the populace to see who is loyal and who speaks out.

Therefore, what could have been a golden age in history is instead replaced by Israel staying a miserable little mud hole nation surrounded by enemies and split by civil wars, at least 50 years before it really happened anyway.....

Nosferatu

Nos, would they have disfellowshipped Job's wife for telling him to curse God and die?

Yes, Job's wife was an apostate. It would have caused much strain on their relationship, and Job would have to divorce her because she's a spiritual danger.

bebu

jgnat,

That book is one of my favorite allegories: The Last Battle. Those dwarves were also totally partisan--"dwarves are for the dwarves!"

I think I have been deeply affected by that book's portrayal of people rushing up to enter the doorway to heaven... how many turned away deliberately, after looking into the eyes of Aslan; how many others were surprised to find they had entered.

bebu

PS: I like your idea of adjusting these stories to JW reality.

jgnat

Bebu, we share a love of books! Very neat. Yes, those dwarves stuck in my mind.

Captain, isn't it interesting how the articles remind us so often how "humble" the GB is. Kind of like an abusive parent repeatedly reminding their children that they "love" them.

Yes, I am enjoying these rewrites, too. I am scouring my memory for hot bible stories. Here is a modification of one of Scully's favorite stories, not often published in the WT:

Judges 4 17-21 (MSG)

Meanwhile Sisera, running for his life, headed for the tent of Jael, wife of Heber the Kenite. .... Jael stepped out to meet Sisera and said, "Come in, sir. Stay here with me. Don't be afraid."
So he went with her into her tent. She covered him with a blanket.
He said to her, "Please, a little water. I'm thirsty."
She opened a bottle of milk, gave him a drink, and then covered him up again.
He then said, "Stand at the tent flap. If anyone comes by and asks you, "Is there anyone here?' tell him, "No, not a soul.'"
Then while he was fast asleep from exhaustion, Jael wife of Heber took a tent peg and hammer, tiptoed toward him, and drove the tent peg through his temple and all the way into the ground. He convulsed and died.

Judges 4:17-21 (JW rewrite)

Meanwhile Sisera, running for his life, headed for the tent of a certain Jehovah?s Witness woman. He said, ?Please hide me. My enemies are fast on my heels.? She replied, ?Sir, I cannot. My husband is away, and it is unseemly for me to be seen talking alone with a pagan man.? At that, she disappeared inside her tent. Sisera, in a fit of rage, tore the tent apart, murdered the faithful JW wife, and stole their only camel for a quick getaway. At the memorial service, the elders spoke warmly of her years of faithful service and her hope for paradise. For her martyrdom, her story would be told in a future article (Anonymously, of course. It would be unseemly to give too much attention to a single human being.)

Badger

They would have DF'd Jeremiah and Isaiah for "Getting ahead of the society's teachings"

Jez

Prodigal son:

Walks down the lane to the father's house, downtrodden and depressed, Dad says, "Son, you can't come in the house to eat with us as God commands us not to eat with sinners such as yourself, BUT go back to meetings for about 6 months, and we'll see you then." Dads walks back into the house to enjoy the remainder of his worthy family that have stayed loyal to Jehovah. Outside, son falls to the ground and is spiralling down into a dark depression with feelings of guilt, lonliness and unworthiness. No one is there to see him fall, no one is there to pick him up, no one is willing to show any love or kindness to him, never has he been more alone. He must dig down deep within himself and discover the strength of the human spirit to survive. He must learn the true meaning of being utterly alone. He comtemplates suicide at the thought of no one caring for him during a time when what he needs most is his family to support and love him. Lying there at the gates of his father's house, hearing the laughter beyond, smelling the scent of 'family gatherings' and knowing they do not include him, is almost more than he can bear. Thinking to himself, "BUT I have come back, just my showing up should be enough for them to accept me, support me in whatever decisions I have made." He screams, "I AM HERE! LOOK AT ME!" After spending months sitting at the gate waiting for approval, being angry, sad, lonely, hurt, revengeful and getting nothing but looks of pity from family members as they walk past him......he decides that he must live or die. He decides to live and goes in search of a new family, new friends, a new culture, a new sense of spirituality, a new everything. He must go find life and HIS meaning of it.

jgnat

...and then, Jez, the father and the "good" brothers tut-tut over the sad fate of the fallen brother, warning themselves that they, too could end up like him if they are not careful. They continue to attend all the meetings, in the vain hope to erase the sad memory of the son who is lost. A couple of times a year, the father sends a note through a neutral relative, begging him to return to the "truth".

WHAT IF....We changed bible stories as if JW's really were there?

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