Domestic Discipline

by unbeliever 27 Replies latest members adult

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  unbeliever

  I was sent an interesting link about how a growing number of fundamentalist "Christians" are practicing what they call "Domestic Discipline". This is NOT to be confused with a healthy, consensual S&M play. This is a way of life where the man has the right to PHYSICALLY DISCIPLINE his wife at any time for her "wrongs" or "shortcomings."

  It's discussed in detail at this website http://www.themarriagebed.com/dd.shtml

  Keep in mind this website does not support this way of life but it does give quite a bit of info about the lifestyle.

  Let's start with the basic premises of DD. There are some variations, but these seem to be the main beliefs:
  

  • The husband is in authority over his household and has the right/responsibility to discipline his entire household, including the wife.
  • DD is "responsible authority," meaning that if the husband is to have authority then he must be able to take action and mete out consequence in a tangible form.
  • Discipline is seen as a practical expression of love, a proactive way of helping a wife to grow and mature; motivating her to re-align her priorities so that she will not end up in mediocrity.
  • Discipline is expressed in loss of privileges, spanking, corner time, and writing appropriate sentences multiple times. DDers may include prayer, godly examples, and encouragement in their list of ways to discipline.
    
    Those who practice DD base their stance on scriptures:
  • Old Testament scriptures that describe God chastising his "adulterous" people (spiritual wife). DDers see a parallel of this in a husband's responsibility to chastise his wife.
  • Hebrews 12:5-11, Proverbs 10:13b, 13:24 and similar scriptures. DDers see this as God commending the use of discipline and by extension physical discipline.
  • Eph 5:22-25 Wives ought to submit to their husbands as the church is subject to Christ: DDers feel this command for wives to submit to their husbands is validation that a wife should submit to his use of physical punishment.

  There is much more info posted on the website. It's enough to make you sick that anyone would practice this.
• 

  jwbot

  Discipline is seen as a practical expression of love, a proactive way of helping a wife to grow and mature; motivating her to re-align her priorities so that she will not end up in mediocrity.

  I do not understand why some people who are for this, feel the woman is a child...because that is what it sounds like. Isn't she most of the time, the same age as her husband? They are both adults, why is the wife to be treated like a child?
• 

  kls

  In other words women are brainless morons and unless you are born with a penis you cannot manage your life or anyone else's. You women are to be treated like crap unless you do what the penis of the household tells you to because without this penis you are stupid and cannot think for yourself or make you-re own decisions. Really !!!!!!!!
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  jwbot

  And I need to add:

  I do not care WHAT you believe, but "DD" seemed pretty fucked up to me.
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  unbeliever

  I did a google search and even found people who practice this way of life.

  http://groups.msn.com/DomesticDisciplineandHOHRelationships/general.msnw
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  Mutz

  Religion as an excuse to abuse, something new then. :p
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  Elsewhere

  Next thing you know they will be spouting the "Equal but different" BS that wife beaters love to use.
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  candidlynuts

  almost had a panic attack reading that.

  my ex was THE BOSS and no one back talked THE BOSS.

  i always felt like his kid not his partner. i can remember yelling at one of my kids for getting me in "trouble' with him

  thats when i woke up and said this aint normal .
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  indoubt

  I was browsing the DD MSN User Group and realized that some women actually feel like they need domestic discipline ...
  

  As an example, here's one of the posts (by a woman):
  

  I need some advice please. My darling HOH and I had established a wonderful DD relationship. I was punished a few times, we were fairly commited to the contract we drew up, but now things have just fizzled out and further more everytime I bring up the subject it turns the conversation sour...he's just " not in to it anymore"..and doesn't understand my "obssesion with spanking" the HOH part of our relationship is alive, he runs the show there is no question of that, but the discipline part (even non-spanking) has just dissappered. I want this to be part of my life. The few times I managed to get the conversonsation going, he's said things like "I want a woman and not a child" "I don't want to raise a child untill I have one" he didn't use to feel this way...I guess I need some advice. I miss the security I felt, and am loosing motivation to work out now that the work out or else program has all but ended....Please let me know what you all think. thanks

  I can just picture what would happen if I would approach my wife and say: "honey, I think it's time we try domestic discipline". Ouch!

  indoubt
• 

  Euphemism

  S&M isn't always just a game. There are couples who who choose to extend the Master/Slave or Dominant/Submissive relationship into daily life. Many of those couples do refer to what they do as "domestic discipline."

  I really don't see a problem with that as long as it's fully consensual and is based on a bedrock understanding of equality. The website unbeliever found, IMHO, doesn't meet that criterion, because its ideology is that submission to punishment is an obligation of the wife, not a choice.

  OTOH, Christian practicers of male-dominant female-submissive S&M will often use Christian patriarchal traditions to defend what may actually be a consensual S&M relationship, because of the suspicion with which S&M is viewed in the morally conservative Christian community.

  But I think that most of what you find on the web about "domestic discipline" will be about consensual relationships, not ideologically forced submission.