Needing peace and friendship (page 2)

Carmel

You must exert your right to equality! Do not allow him to make a choice that effects your daughter without your full consent. As you would not to the converse. Stake out your rights as an equal in parenting and in the religious aspects of your lives. Force him to respect your feelings and beliefs. More important than signing a mortgage agreement, your religious and spiritual lives together are far reaching and must be based on mutual respect and respect. Any compromise will lead to disseffection and eventual loss of your relationship. The sooner you make your feelings and thoughts strongly known, the better you will be served.

carmel, rootin for ya!!

hubert

So sad to hear you are going through this. I don't have as bad a situation as you do. I have a daughter who's studying because of her aunt who is a j.w. who influenced her, and it is tough for my wife and I to handle, too. But, there are so many in this forum that are in the same predicament as you are. You are not alone, believe me.

I know you said you don't need any info or advice, but that's all I can give you, as little as it is, so I'd still like to put my two cents in, anyway.

If you need to find material, such as.... "You can live forever in paradise on earth" book, and many others written by the Watchtower, try good used book stores, or on line, go to "abebooks" and search in there.

I use their own Watchtower material to work on my daughter and her husband, because I'm not that versed in Bible scripture. If you need any advice in that line of proof, maybe I can help you some. Send me a "p.m." (personal message) and I'll try to help any way I can. Start showing your daughter the differences between the teachings of the Watchtower and your religion right now, before your husband gets her too interested in the cult.

Good luck to you and your family. I sincerely hope you can wake your husband up to this cult. It's been done before, so it's not a lost cause yet. Don't give up. I'm not. (Welcome to the board).

Sincerely, Hubert

kj

Welcome to the board. You're already getting a lot of good advice. It is important to stay calm, because the JWs like to tell their new "studys" that Satan will use their loved ones to make them stop studying. The 2 books you've mentioned are my two personal favorites, they should be very helpful. I hope your husband will agree to look at them. I hope you will be able to reach your husband, please keep us updated.

kj

Joker10

Sirona, she didn't want advice.

Snb, your husband will not go mad. He is liking what he is learning.

This is a real threat to absolutely everything I love and hold dear to me

Your husband will remain your husband. He is not going to go mad

I feel like I"ve been totally abandoned by God and I know that's wrong to feel that way

God is not punishing you. He wants to please God; and this is why he is exploring other beliefs.

jgnat

I agree, Joker, this man's ears are being tickled. It is an attractive doctrine for people who need answers to every question. However, will this doctrine help this man and wife remain partners, unitedly?

snb, nice to make your acquaintance. Your quote touched me:

I just need a friend. I need to know that I'm not alone in my pain and that I'm not making up this pain! It's real. This is a real threat to absolutely everything I love and hold dear to me. I dont have much faith that it will work out the way I want it to. I dont know how to get that faith back. I'm starting to wonder why God is putting me through this. I feel like I"ve been totally abandoned by God and I know that's wrong to feel that way. But I truly dont know how to keep hope alive and I have absolutely no one to talk to about these things.

I am a non-JW married to a Jehovah's Witness. I agree that the JW experience can leave the uninterested partner very isolated. If you want someone to talk to, feel free to send me a private message. You do that by clicking on my name (jgnat) and then "Send Message".

First of all, you are no longer alone. On this board, you are surrounded by a great crowd of sympathizers. This board has been invaluable to me. Here, I can express my feelings openly.
You are right, the Watchtower Society is a direct threat to peace and harmony in the home, unless you submit to their way of living as well. I see you have already decided you do not want to give up your free will so easily. That is good.
Right now, know, God has heard the cry of your heart.
You have every right to be worried. We can control many things in our lives. We chose the paint on our walls, what we eat for dinner. But as soon as another human being is involved, we no longer have complete control. Your husband may decide to become a baptized Jehovah's Witness no matter what you do or say. You must respect his choice, as God respects every man's free will.

I am curious about a few things. Was there a recent incident in your lives that made the Jehovah's Witness suddenly attractive to your husband? The man who is studying with your husband, is he married? You don't have to answer here. You can explain in your Private Message.

outoftheorg

JOKER10

IS A CLONE OF THE GUY WHO WANTS YOUR HUBBY TO BECOME A JEHOVAHS WITNESS.

THIS OUGHT TO EXPLAIN HIS ODD POST.

THERE WILL BE MORE.

I WAS RAISED AS A JW, WAS AT ONE TIME AN ELDER IN THE RELIGION.

YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE THE PAIN AND DAMAGE THEY CAUSED ME, WHILE DESTROYING MY MARRIAGE AND MY FAMILY.

STAY AROUND AND YOU WILL FIND THOSE WHO WENT THROUGH EXPERIENCING, WHAT YOU ARE LIVING WITH.

YOU MENTIONED THE BOOK "CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE" IT WILL OPEN THE EYES OF THE MOST DIE HARD JW (IF) YOU CAN GET THEM TO READ IT.

BEST WISHES TO YOU IN THIS TIME OF TROUBLE.

Outoftheorg

Markfromcali

Hello,

Welcome. One thing caught my eye as I read your message, you wrote:

I thought I married someone that shared my beliefs.

Well maybe he did at the time, and maybe it's a little different now or in flux, but ask yourself this: In spite of his beliefs, is he the same person that you married? Has anything other than his beliefs changed?

What strikes me is this is simply a difference in religious belief. He may be behaving differently, doing different things, but try to see and connect with the person underneath all that. To put it bluntly, is the relationship based on beliefs or is it based on love? Which one is primary?

I would be willing to email, I don't know if I'm the right person for you, if you're interested at all based on this message move the mouse over the name on the left and click on Profile. Many of us have a little bio, mine will tell a little about where I'm coming from.

Flash

I'm starting to wonder why God is putting me through this. I feel like I"ve been totally abandoned by God and I know that's wrong to feel that way.

I would pray for answers to start with. Then as for your husband, I would point out and expose the cult mentality the JW's have. Their unquestioning obediance to 'The Organization' and their refusal to criticize anything the Leadership says! Also, the surrender of your critical thinking and individuality to group will be both gradual and EXPECTED!!! He should be on guard for it. I would encourage him to read and study all he wants from the Witnesses, just don't associate closely with them!!!

snbdye2000

Well first, thank you to everyone who has responded to my original post. I knew in my heart that I was not the only one going through these feelings. For those who welcomed a personal email, I will write you soon. I am happy to say that my husband's eyes are opening a little. He is rather upset about a few things we read - mainly that the governing body is led by the invisible power of God (my words, I cant recall the exact quotes), having to give up independant thinking, and the biggest one that Christ returned invisibly. He told me last night that the book has really opened up some big questions for him and that he will continue to read with me. Crisis of Conscience is supposed to come in today, and he said he looks forward to reading it. I have to respond though to those who imply that this is all just a "diffence of religious beliefs" and that if there is truly love that it can survive. That may be true to a point, but I feel it would run much much deeper than that. My husband has made many comments to the fact that he would be the authority in this house and that I would have NO say in anything. He has already made me get rid of all my Christmas decorations and told me that if I want to celebrate, I have to do it somewhere else. He already told our daughter the other day that Santa is not real. Now my issue isnt that she found out the truth - I cant argue with that. But I do have a problem with him taking something that meant a lot to me and totally disregarded my feelings on it and didnt even consult me about how and when to tell her. As her mom and his wife, I should have been there with him to tell her. But he did it to prove his "authority" - all at the pushing of this JW friend. That really angers me and proves to me that it's just the tip of the iceberg so to speak. But like I said, he is reading these books with me and is angry about a couple things we've covered. So I see that as a good sign. But then, if he meets with his friend today at lunch, it could be a whole new ball game tonight. It is amazing to me how quickly this guy can convince my husband of something in a short lunch break. It's amazing and scary. But I'll keep you all posted on how things are going. Thanks again, and I'll write those of you who invited me to do so.

Brummie

Thats a great follow up post snb, keep us updated.

If I had seen this post earlier I would have recommended you didnt study the reasoning with JWs book but rather printed of the jwrb.org website and discussed the experiences there concerning their view of blood and organ transplants etc. However it seems the approach you have taken may have done the trick, its just a step at a time..

Well done,

Brummie

Needing peace and friendship

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