The Loss of Innocence.....and Recovering

by Frannie Banannie 27 Replies latest jw friends

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow
    A HUGE "high 5" to both of those paragraphs, ((((Flyin'!)))) I totally understand and agree. I don't believe we could handle the "truth" if we knew it.

    Frannie

    ((((Frannie))))))) Have a hug back. I very much enjoyed your post. For you:

  • Undaunted Danny
    Undaunted Danny

    Solidarity I Love You Mug

    I am your kindred my Dear.

    Danny sez;"the anguish and agony of having to renounce the life long convictions of my heart,the crushing surreal horror to learn to learn that everything that i believed in was all a LIE!

    St.Paul put it;"If in this life only we have hope we are of all people the most to be pitied"

    Romans 8:13"There's nothing in it for us, nothing at all. The best thing to do is give it a decent burial and get on with your new life." Dove


  • Sassy
    Sassy

    Frannie, my feelings are exactly the same as you. I felt like reading your words were as if reading them from a journal I could have written. I'm so envious of people who have a hope and believe system they can trust. I hope one day I can get there, but I fear I may never.

    But like you, I have been working on myself and finding happiness there.

  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie
    Goodness Frannie, I would think by 28 you would have had your heart broken a couple times & become jaded. For me, it's fool me twice, shame on YOU. I never became a man hater, & have known lots of fine men that I've had (and have) utmost respect for. But I think you get a little gun shy after a bad experience.

    LOL, Gyps....*I* was mostly the one breakin' hearts, cher I don't really hate 'em.....I just prefer to live without having to answer to someone else or be beholden for every thing I do, everywhere I go, everything I buy, everything I wear and eat, how I act, what I say, etc., etc., ad infinitum....

    I never got "gun shy" after a bad experience, where men were concerned....until I got older.....I used to be such a "Pollyanna" about so much.....it's taken a lonnnnnnng time to overcome that.

    Your hubby's a very clever and talented man....and smart to boot, Gyps!

    Solidarity

    I am your kindred my Dear.

    Danny sez;"the anguish and agony of having to renounce the life long convictions of my heart,the crushing surreal horror to learn to learn that everything that i believed in was all a LIE!

    St.Paul put it;"If in this life only we have hope we are of all people the most to be pitied"

    Romans 8:13"There's nothing in it for us, nothing at all. The best thing to do is give it a decent burial and get on with your new life."

    Danny, a big AMEN to that, cher!

    I guess that's what I'm doin' here....just givin' it a memorial service.

    FLYIN! Thanks for the bouquet, cher! First one I've recv'd in a lonnnng time! What a sweetie!

    Frannie

    Frannie

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow
    FLYIN! Thanks for the bouquet, cher! First one I've recv'd in a lonnnng time! What a sweetie!

    Awww, I'm so happy then. Here's a bluebird of happiness for you and anyone else who needs her.

  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie
    Frannie, my feelings are exactly the same as you. I felt like reading your words were as if reading them from a journal I could have written. I'm so envious of people who have a hope and believe system they can trust. I hope one day I can get there, but I fear I may never.

    But like you, I have been working on myself and finding happiness there.

    (((((Sassy))))) yeppers....I kinda felt like there's more out there like us and it needed to be brought out and considered....I envy their innocence, too, Sass, but more than that, I just hope they never find themselves in a position where they've lost it....I'm tinkerin' with an experimental idea, something to believe in that in all probability works, but I'll start another thread on it in just a few minutes.

    I believed in the paradise, that I would see my grandparents alive again, holidays were of the devil, and I HAD to go in service to be saved etc. I believed in these things as strongly as I believed that my heart is beating. To be so warm and comfortable in life and then to have freezing cold water thrown on me, everything I was sure was true is a LIE???.....is indescribable. I still feel stunned, shell-shocked and I tetter on disbelief. No more can I deny the truth, I was mislead by a Satanic cult, boy does that feel weird and hurt.

    After being so bold and so filled with conviction and telling all that would listen. I am now humbled to the point of silence about what I believe in or think. I walk this life, but silently, keeping my thoughts to myself. It is why I love this forum so much, it is ok for me to just speak.

    Being raised as a JW, has hurt me, but I will change because that is the humane thing to do and I won't let the borg win this woman's heart and soul. I gave it to them once, they sure as hell aren't going to keep it. No longer will they tell me who I am, what I should or shouldn't do, guilt me or scare me into following and they will not tell me who I can associate/be with.

    I know I need to research, look at myself, take time, change, be honest etc....and I will.....but I won't let them hold me back anymore, in any mental, physical or emotional way. I will find my own cure.

    Awwwwww, ((((((JEZ)))))) I know exactly how that feels....I was SO stunned, shocked and downright pissed off about it for years! Hey! I refused to wear a dress again for almost a decade afterward! And yeah, I'm afraid someone would say "Here's your sign!" and hand me a sign that says, "I'M STUPID!" if I open my mouth publicly about believing anything or anyone.....but....like I mentioned to Sassy, I'm tinkerin' with an idea about an experiment in behavior and speech and I'm gonna post a thread on it in a very short time this afternoon.

    You're wcm, Jez....yep, we gotta be "Ad Aware" and "Search & Destroy" when we come across those "snakes", eh? Good luck with your self-realization, Jez!

    Flyin', that bird better not take a dump on my head, cher

    Frannie

  • Narkissos
    Narkissos

    ((((Frannie))))

    When I first read your beautiful post I thought "never say never", but really what we say doesn't matter so much.

    You don't need to believe in anything to let every day offer you its lot of unexpected happiness, and enjoy it regardless of what is forever lost.

    I wish you the best,

    Didier

  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie
    When I first read your beautiful post I thought "never say never", but really what we say doesn't matter so much.

    You don't need to believe in anything to let every day offer you its lot of unexpected happiness, and enjoy it regardless of what is forever lost.

    I wish you the best

    (((Didier/Narkissos))) Thanks! (and for the flowers, too, cher) But.....take a gander at the thread I just started on the behavioral experiment...

    I guess it's not actually an experiment in believing in something, but more to find out something about what creates positive power and self-empowerment and how affective it is.

    Frannie

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