But Jesus Would Approve of Disfellowshipping as being a part of LOVE!!!

by Sweetp0985 13 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • Sweetp0985

    How We Learn to Love

    Is Indispensable

    In this series:
    Love Is Indispensable
    How to Develop Genuine Love
    The Noblest Kind of Love

    Related topics:
    Help Your Children to Thrive
    Spend Time With Your Family!
    Children—What They Need From Parents

    It is a challenge to cultivate love in a world governed by greed

    REGARDLESS of age, culture, language, or race, all humans have a hunger for love. If that hunger is not satisfied, they are not happy. A medical researcher wrote: "Love and intimacy are at a root of what makes us sick and what makes us well, what causes sadness and what brings happiness, what makes us suffer and what leads to healing. If a new drug had the same impact, virtually every doctor in the country would be recommending it for their patients. It would be malpractice not to prescribe it."

    Yet, modern society, especially its media and popular role models, often places more emphasis on wealth, power, fame, and sex than on the human need for warm, loving relationships. Many educators stress secular goals and careers, defining success primarily in those terms. True, education and the cultivation of one's talents are important, but should they be pursued so single-mindedly that one has no time for family and friends? An educated ancient writer who was an astute observer of human nature likened a gifted but loveless individual to "a sounding piece of brass or a clashing cymbal." (1 Corinthians 13:1) Such people may become wealthy, even famous, but never truly happy.

    Jesus Christ, who had a profound understanding of and a special fondness for humans, put love for God and neighbor at the very heart of his teaching. He said: "You must love Jehovah your God with your whole heart and with your whole soul and with your whole mind. . . . You must love your neighbor as yourself." (Matthew 22:37-39) Only those who followed these words would truly be Jesus' followers. Hence, he said: "By this all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love among yourselves."—John 13:35.

    How, though, does one cultivate love in today's world? And how can parents teach love to their children? The following article will address these questions.

    Appeared in The Watchtower July 1, 2003
  • Sweetp0985

    I couldn't add this to the above post for some reason...How can they so strongly believe in love this way but if you do something that the elders say is wrong and disfellowship you...they show this love by not talking to you...and then not only that but your family can no longer give you this "love" either.....

    I'm confused....

    What is your opinion?

  • kwintestal

    You know I find it funny that they always show pictures of someone being welcomed back to the org. after being df'd, but you never see pics of someone walking into the hall, and everyone stares at him and avoinding him like the plague. That is what ends up happening after all, but I guess that it's not sugar coated enough for the new recruits. I feel that they do this to control the group, and to FORCE conformity. First they isolate you, by telling you that all your "worldly friends" are evil and to be abandoned, then they abandon you. You are therefore pissed, attempt to go back to, your once evil, friends only to find that they are still pissed about you abandonning them. You therefore are completly isolated and have no choice but to return to the org, beg the men of the org for forgiveness, "I've repented!" and again join the group. It's like a whirlpool, once you get sucked in, you got to fight like hell to get out. Some manage, others just give up and go with the flow and stay in. The WTS likes those who stay in.


  • Annanias

    Robert Heinlein described love as putting the other person's welfare in front of our own. Not bad, at least, as good as any. My ex spent a goodly portion of our "marriage" with nearly a daily explaination of my love as an intermittant, short lived sometime thing, which depended upon constant vigilence in the real world. "If you really loved me you'd..." she would say. For me, the quintessential romanticist, it is difficult to imagine "true" love as needing road maps, guidelines, or footnotes. Like respiration, balance, vision, and other hypo-thalmaicly originated impulses of the human being, it must be automatic, lest we forget to do it one day and die.

    The theory: Now, supposedly, if I truly love you and you get DFed for some reason, and I continue to show my love to you, you will never repent, turn around and 'get right with the lord'. If you truly loved me, you would never have gotten DFed in the first place, but now that you are, and if you want my love once more, you'll walk the straight and narrow.

    Two thoughts on the DF, at least, these are what I was told just before I got the ax: DFing is a necessary protection for the congregation body (like divorce for the battered wife?), and the congo doesn't DF anybody, they DF themselves.

    But I think that what you're really asking is what if the %^%$#%$$ "elders" who set this up were as wrong as a two dollar whore snorting crack! Good question. Supposedly, there are methods of "appeal", letter writting and so forth, but I've never heard of this being particularly successful. However, as a person who truly loves you, the ball (so to speak) is now in my court. If I love you I will stand by you, openly and without fear. Why? Because if what has happened is wrong, Jehovah, by definition, will be on "our" side. If the decision that has been foisted against you is wrong, then I would be angering Jehovah by continuing the injustice. If you were, say, my child and living on your own, and you fell afoul of the GB I would naturally ask you if the "charges" were true and if you said no, then, hey, the bozos messed up and I would refuse to add insult to injury. If you said that the "charges" were true, then I would ask you why you did them and you would tell me. If you had killed someone because you just wanted to know what it was like to watch someone die, I probably wouldn't be spending much time around you. But most likely for personal safety reasons than religious. If you said that the charges were true but that you felt bad about it and you said that you were sorry, then you shouldn't have been DFed in the first place (this goes under the Bozos messed up category mentioned earlier) and I would stand with you and help you get right again. If you told me that it was true and you ran to a neighbor and found solace in that person's arms because your marriage mate was a bastard/bitch and that you had no choice and this was a way of bringing necessary attention and so on; well, because I love you, you would get the benfit of the doubt and I would help you as much as I could.

    Now, if you refused to tell me what happened, I would go to the "elders" and check their side of the story. Until I heard something from you, I would accept their version of the story and make a decision as to whether your crime warranted my inattention. However, I would have serious doubts as to your love toward me if you couldn't bring yourself to tell me. If the "elders" refused to tell me the story (this actually happened concerning an incident with my daughter-in-law, not DFing, but PR) I would, once again, give you the benefit and assume that they hosed it. Again.

    Just my thoughts.

  • Sweetp0985

    I understand what you're saying..but they are again using certain scriptures to fit their judging people which IMO is wrong.

    Jesus said,"He said: "You must love Jehovah your God with your whole heart and with your whole soul and with your whole mind. . . . You must love your neighbor as yourself." (Matthew 22:37-39)

    Jesus said these were the greatest of all the commandments. Why do they go and add all these other rules and regulations to fit their controlling purposes. I still love Jehovah and I try my best to love my neighbors as myself...but I'm still the evil one...I just wish I could go back in time and would have never gotten baptized...I think that would cure me....but that is also impossible....

    I just think they take what they want from the bible and use it just to control people and destroy families, but all this is still part of their christian obediance to Jehovah...All the love just kills me...If Jesus had shown this kind of love..Mary Magdelene would have surely been stoned for all the sins she committed...Even Judas ..Jesus knew he was the betrayer but he still broke bread with him....He was eating in the company of sinner...but I guess Paul's words later didn't include Jesus as an example.."Quit mixing with them..not even eating with such a one" ...Paul just had the new light I guess and Jesus was wrong....

  • kwintestal
    I just think they take what they want from the bible and use it just to control people and destroy families

    I have to agree with you on the first part of that but I really don't think that their intent is to destroy families, however they are quite aware that the latter is a byproduct of the former. Quite the unpleasant byproduct at that because everyone close to the DF'd person loses. It kills these ones inside because the org has forced them to choose between God and the DF'd person. It's an impossible position to be in.

    I am in complete agreement with you on Jesus and how he delt with people. One of the things that still baffles me is how Paul came along and set all these standards that Jesus never did. Seems similar to Rutherford becomming prez. of WTS, and the drastic changes that the WTS took.

    It seems like a topic that really touches your heart. I know it does mine and many other posters. Thank you very much for shareing, and letting others know that we're not alone that feeling that the DF'ing process is wrong.

  • Sweetp0985

    The only thing I'm sorry about is that I ever got baptized as I mentioned before.....I'm not sorry I ever got df'd because that was the only way I found freedom...but just "certain" family makes me upset....It just makes me sick that all the ones that have been "around" the truth most of their lives but never get baptized and do whatever the hell they want to are still welcomed with open arms...Not saying that I'm an angel...but I don't do half the things that my dub family probably thinks I do...Just because I choose to live indepently and not show deep repentance (like they want me to) I'm labeled as rebellious and unloving because I won't tuck my tail and cater to the JW's rules...Even my half-way out the door himself dub dad wants me to come back...for what??? I've just been really frustrated with the whole situation lately and I chose to vent here...sorry

  • Annanias

    You are very correct. If someone is trying to make you think that if Jesus were here today he wouldn't speak to you, they are full of sh*t. They are working from the opposite of the shephard who leaves his 99 sheep to go find the one lost one. But in fairness, they have to protect the congo. I understand that they come across in a "controlling" way, but, in a sense, that is the byproduct of leading. If they were perfect, or, at least, better, at it, they would have been able to motivate you to want to do what is supposed to be done. This is the true definition of leadership.

    Unfortunately, most "elders" see their job only as judicial executioner as opposed to loving shephard. It's kind of like finding the one sheep that strayed and then, in spite, feeding the damn thing to the lions. (That'll teach HIM!)

  • kwintestal

    Don't be sorry about venting. It helps, it really does. There's many here that do, and that's one of the reason these discussion groups work. We lean on each other to get through it. A lot here, including myself are where you are. Sometimes though its a matter of taking a stand. Sometimes it takes saying to your family, "You know what? This is who I am! Take me or leave me." It's not easy, but it's not healthy to be constanly put through guilt trips about not getting back into things and not doing what you want and need to do. It's taking away from the freedom that you found you're enjoying.

    I regret getting baptized. I was in grade 7. What the hell does someone in grade 7 know about life? Jesus waited until he was 30. There was a good reason for that. It set an example. Kids shouldn't get baptised, there's too much going on in their heads and bodies to make that kind of commitment, and that's the start of the problem. Kids are pressured by their families to get baptised, and when they figgure out what they really want to do with their lives, it's too late. It's all part of the control. IT IS SICK! And you know what? It won't change anytime soon. As for the ones that never got baptised, ya, it pisses me off that they're welcomed back with open arms and a big show, but at the same time I'm happy for them at least that's one less person that has to go through what I went through.

    You don't have to tuck your tail and go back to the JW rules. It's your right to decide how you're going to live your life. Hopefully your family will come to understand and accept that. Until then stay strong and here's a hug.


  • A Paduan
    A Paduan

    Jesus said,"He said: "You must love Jehovah your God with your whole heart and with your whole soul and with your whole mind. . . . You must love your neighbor as yourself." (Matthew 22:37-39)

    No he didn't - he didn't say "Jehovah your God"

    It's another jw / people are easy marks type of thing

    • The jw god has been called jehovah (they call themselves 'jehovahs witnesses')
    • Did Jesus say to love jehovah god? - NOT
    • Is that what you do to follow Jesus? - NO
    • That's what you do to be a jw.

    I don't love jehovah god and from what I've heard I don't even want to know him.

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