Being nice to people costs nothing and can mean a lot to them. Just letting somebody feel good is so easy and yet, why do we hold back sometimes?
People, in general, hold back out of fear - or like you said, being stuck in their widdle heads. This our culture, this is our norm.
JW's and exJWs hold back because everyone else is THEM, and we all know about THEM. They are not us, and they are going to be severely judged. Yeah, right.
Being nice to people, getting out of ourselves and out of our own widdle heads, is very freeing, and feels just as good, if not better. After all, we're all human, and we're all really the same.
Hugs to all
PS: I agree with the discussion on the UU. The only church I have attended for an actual service instead of a wedding or AA. If I were going to go to "church" it would probably be the UU. I'm also interested in the Quakers as my ancestors were Friends. I just cannot get my arse up to be at a meeting by 10:00 on Sunday morning! Besides, I don't have a dress to wear