Can You Picture Jesus Christ Being a Jehovah's Witness???

by minimus 32 Replies latest jw friends

  • iiz2cool

    If Jesus had been a JW:

    If Peter denied Jesus 3 times he would have been df'd for apostasy.

    If his disciples had fallen asleep they would have their microphone priviledges taken away.

    If Peter said "Be kind to yourself Lord" Jesus would have answered, "Ok, where's the nearest Tim Hortons?"

    When preaching to large crowds Jesus would not have fed them. If they were hungry it would have been their own fault for not bringing packed lunches according to WTS direction.

    Jesus would not have been allowed to teach in the congregation until he shaved off his beard and got a haircut. Elders would have considered him a "reproach".


  • Narkissos

    "And he entered the kingdom hall and began to drive out those who were selling and those who were buying, and he overturned the literature counters and the seats of the ministerial servants who sold books and mags; and he would not allow anyone to carry any mike through the hall. He was teaching and saying, "Is it not written, 'My house shall be called a house of prayer for all the nations'? But you have made it a den of robbers."

    Not so hard to imagine...

  • minimus

    Walter---that was dead on! If Jesus got baptized he would have had to answer over 100 questions first---to see if he was qualified......If Jesus got tempted by the Devil and the Devil actually spoke to him----get the judicial committee started! .....If Jesus Christ ate with harlots and sinners, he would have been "marked" as "bad association".

  • Will Power
    Will Power
    Otherwise, why was He in the Temple at the time for the celebration? Would a JW go and hang around where Christmas was being celebrated?

    Why not? JWs go and hang around the memorial and don't partake, so reinforces their repulse towards blood - the symbol of life.

    Like at the first one Jesus gives a cup of wine - meaning his blood, meaning life - the JW "no thanks" I belong to a different flock !

    That says it all eh? How anti can you get?

    Great question Min, could this be brought up areound the dinner table?

  • minimus

    Keep it coming, folks....I'm leaving now for Montreal for the weekend! See ya Sunday night!!

  • confusedjw

    Of course - I can picture him flipping over tables, making whip of ropes and condemning the leaders as hypocrites and white washed graves. Then I can picture him getting disfellowshipped late at night with illegal procedures. And then three days later him getting reinstated when they realize they disfellowshipped the Son of Man.

  • Narkissos
    And then three days later him getting reinstated when they realize they disfellowshipped the Son of Man.

    This I cannot picture...

  • jgnat

    Exactly my point, Minimus. The young Jesus was not a model JW. He hung around revelers. Great scripture find, by the way.

    Undaunted Danny, you crack me up.

    I just couldn't see him bobbing the roving microphones.

    The microphone duty was a most exotic activity, the first time I saw it. At my church, the speaker adjusts his own microphone. Such weird assignments are a symptom, I think, of the dearth of opportunities in the hall. Only three activities are supported; study, meeting attendance, and field service. So where are the "in between" assignments where you can test out the leadership candidates? Microphone handling, of course!

  • avishai

    No talking to the samaritan woman at the well, no preaching in Samaria, no Good samaritan, etc. The Jews considered the Samaritans apostates.

  • El Kabong
    El Kabong

    He wouldn't have been able to say, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone". He would have had to first form a judicial commitee for the woman who was being stoned for committing adultery.

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