elder tries to lecture me on parental respect

by unbeliever 29 Replies latest jw friends

  • avishai
    I was waiting for someone to encourage this young man/woman to avoid arrogance and smart-alec remarks to anyone, not just those older, and especially a mother

    said he was as sweet as could be. I.E respectful.

    When someone is'nt minding their own business, telling them so IS kind and respectful, enabling that kind of rude, arrogant, untrained, direspectful behavior is not, it merely encourages them to go on in life thinking that getting in others business is OK. He got a lot more respect than he deserved. Age has nothing to do with it.

  • gdt

    Bethany, thank you for the nice words and manner expressed, you may be 100% correct that this young one should not have been engaged in conversation, I sort of read it that a wall was up and no matter what was said or how kind it was said, still drew a strongly sarcastic response...and someone was really worrying about mum.

    Again, thanks. gdt

  • unbeliever

    For the record I am 24. I don't talk to my mom like I do other witnesses who get in my business. For the most part I ignore her because when we are together (very rarely) all she does is witness and tell me armageddon is around the corner. Trashes my dad. We also fight about her shunning my sister who is DF'd. If this elder was really concerned about mother he should have told me.....You know unbeliever I care for your mom a lot and value her as a friend and I am concerned about her. But no he said he was an elder. He was on a power trip and he needed to be brought down a few pegs. I was more than happy to do it.

  • jgnat

    You know, I have noticed that elders do think that anybody in earshot is deserving of their advice. This is an assumed familiarity. Respect must be earned, it does not come automatically with the title.

    I have gone to my pastor for advice, but he does not offer it up unsolicited. And when I talk to him about my problems, he first asks me what I have figured out on my own. Afterwards, I am reassured that I am on the right track. My ability to reason for myself is affirmed.

  • johnny cip
    johnny cip

    unbeliever; exquisite work!!!!!!!!!! nothing like taking a spritual drunkard out of the clouds. and bring him down to earth.. bet his taco gave him heart burn. gdt i haven't found bible verse yetr that says you should respect parents and elders that kick you to the ground and only love you if you join a cult of mind control false prophets. perhaps you can post that verse for us john

  • gdt


    Try any page of the Christian Greek Scriptures, if you wish, but what is the point if you know everything? gdt

  • dh

    good to read and good responses you gave the prick.

    i am an elder


  • myauntfanny
    I was waiting for someone to encourage this young man/woman to avoid arrogance and smart-alec remarks to anyone, not just those older, and especially a mother, and to suggest that bitterness and resentment are hardly qualities a mature person would display.

    I am not a Christian and don't believe in the bible, but I also think it's important to respect your parents, since they gave you life. I also think it's better to respect other people just because you get what you give in that area. HOWEVER, standing up for yourself is not disrespectful, contrary to JW beliefs. It sounds to me like unbeliever asserted him-herself rather well. The elder was assuming an authority he was totally not entitled to, and with a 24-year-old adult for heaven's sake. The elder's behaviour was inappropriate and disrespectful and actually quite aggressive, and I think unbeliever handled it with more maturity than some other, older people might have done. Unbeliever made all the salient points, but didn't shout or threaten or attack the elder's beliefs or personal life. He stayed and talked to the man, at least. I would have got up and walked away.

  • bull01lay

    Way to go unbeliever - nicely handled. I wish I could say I was so calm when dealing with a selfrighteous overbearing bigot, but alas, after a few nicities didn't work I told em exactly where to get off!!

    gdt - gone are the days when title or age commands respect - and I for one certainly wouldn't give respect out of a sense of duty - it has to be earnt. I was brought up that you respect elders, give them your seat on a bus, hold doors open for them etc.. - how many of them EVER say thank you?? They barge past you in the high street, barge you out of the way at counters in shops? Moan constantly about the younger generation - period!! Why the hell should we respect that ??

    It seems to me in your response to John "what is the point if you know everything? gdt" that you're still teetering on an elders pedestal!


  • franklin J
    franklin J

    BRAVO! Unbeliever!

    I am sorry I could not have been there to see it all! You did very well in putting him in his place....What arrogant #$%&?! they are!

    Keep up the good work! What a good "New York" attitude you have.


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