Currently I find it very difficult to discuss the JW organization with my wife. Once I made my position known to her, her super "apostate senses" kicked in and there became a brick wall. I know why, heck 2 years ago I would have built the same wall myself, and then put barbed wire around the top. How do you get under that fence? She refuses to discuss anything about the org. as she knows which direction I will eventually head. So my question to the group is, what are effective ways to start discussions without getting that guard up? Any ideas?
Conversation Starters
by kwintestal 14 Replies latest jw friends
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Ratboy
Alcohol? *Pause* What? You were thinking it too!
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MegaDude
None, once her guard is up.
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kwintestal
None, once her guard is up.
The JW's dedicated a whole chapter in the reasoning book for these situations, sure some are corny, some are BS, and most don't work, but I'm sure some work some of the time. I'd think that there'd be for this situation as well.
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Mac
Is that a green bean dangling from your sideburn? (this one always works!)
mac
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blondie
I second that thought that let her come to you with questions.
If you do bring it up, wait until she is in the right frame of mind:
I find it is helpful to occasionally combat the negative litany the WTS has about non-JWs. When you see something in the news or on TV where non-JWs show kindness to each other, say, "Well, doesn't that show that people can still show love to each other." or "I ran into Neighbor Bob and look what he gave us from his garden. What a great guy!" "Mrs. OlderLadyLivingByHerself down the street just got out of the hospital. The people in her church are sprucing up her house and having some of the ladies stay with her until she can get around. Maybe we could drop off a casserole."
Blondie
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Mac
A green bean casserole?......Mmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!
mac
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blondie
Good choice, mac.
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Mac
'atta girl!
mac
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Winston Smith :>D
If you want to discuss alarming cult behaviour, do just that. But talk about cults disturbing behaviour OTHER THAN the WTS.
Approaching a cult topic RE: JW?s via another cult may allow you to fly under the wife?s ?Apostate? radar alert that all JW?s are instilled with.
I am attempting to do this with my wife. It?s not easy! My wife?s radar for any apostate thinking is on constant high alert. I am approaching it as Steve Hassan has outlined in his book ?Releasing the Bonds?. He says to approach it like this:
- Discuss what a phobia is vs. a real fear [i.e., phobia of public speaking vs. fear of heights. One will only cause embarrassment, while the latter can cause death if not respected.]
- Discuss with the loved one how OTHER high-control groups use PHOBIAS to control their members. What really happens when a Scientologist [insert favorite cult here] as compared to what the group leaders say will happen?
- Start asking the loved questions about their phobias RE: the WTS. Can the WTS ever loose Jehovah?s favor? Is there anything that the WTS could do to lose Jehovah?s favor? Is there any earthly organization that was backed by Jehovah in the past that still has His favor today [Isrealites, Judah, 1 st Century congregation/F&DS] ?
I?ve started talking with my wife point #1. She has a phobia of spiders and other innocuous insects found in WI. I have a phobia of people, .. well, I won?t go into that. But we discussed phobias and it was light-hearted enough that it didn?t set off her ?apostate radar?
My next step is to talk about OTHER cults. I have an easy topic for that. Her parents used to be in a cult when she was younger, ?The Way?. Her parents left in the middle of the night to a different state to escape the cult. So I figure I can ask questions about that just as a matter of family history. Maybe even in the company of her parents.
I did brainstorm a more radical idea of telling her that I was thinking about becoming a Mormon, Scientologist, or any other group she deemed a cult. Then put her in the position of researching more about cults to try to ?save me?, only to awaken herself to the similarities of the WTS to other cults.
Let me know how it works out for you. BTW, I highly recommend Steve Hassans book ?Releasing the Bonds?. I think you?ll find it enlightening and helpful.
Best,
Paul