My 22 year old, married daughter came by to visit this weekend. She was baptised 12 years ago - when she was only 10 years old. (I know! ... As a parent... what was I thinking back then?!) I was a young ambitious Ministerial Servant, aspiring to be elder at the time.
My daughter told me yesterday about her experience of going through her baptismal questions with the elders. She then asked me if she ever told me how "Brother So-and-so" was dressed during her review of the questions. I said I never heard about this experience of hers.
She then told me that this 55 year old 'brother' (who was the congregation overseer at the time... very pious and righteous) sat ALONE with my 10 year old daughter... dressed in his bathrobe... !! This elder was sitting directly across from my young daughter. She said that she remembers how at the innocent young age of 10, she noticed how his bathrobe kept opening up, and showing way up his thighs. My daughter tells me now that she reflects back on this experience and questions how inappropriate this was. (God!! Ya THINK??!!)
I have been sitting pondering this experience over night now. I am getting angrier and angrier as I think about it. In a congregation that typically goes out of their way to criticize and discipline those whose fashion choices do not meet with the conscience of the elders. Yet... this congregation overseer could inappropriately expose himself to my young innocent child. (it was totally innapropriate - because my daughter remembers this experience to THIS day!)
This TICKS me off!
So... now I'm wondering what to 'do' with this. My daughter is married, centered, grounded... and quite logical. I believe my daughter and son-in-law are going through the awareness exercises and observations that come before their own 'fading' from the congregation. I believe that it will happen with time. As a parent of an adult child now, I don't know what to do with this. I am not in this congregation where the elder is - and I don't know if I want to go there.
Where do my obligations (today!) start and end with my parenting?! She is an adult now - and I wonder if the correct thing is to let her be in control of the situation. If I step in and stir things up - I may alienate my daughter from the path I believe she is taking: getting the hell out of the borg. I MUST be careful here!
I'm open to comments and opinions. Thanks.