Stupid JW Comments

by minimus 24 Replies latest jw friends

  • minimus
    minimus

    The publications are filled with stupid comments. Elders and others have made some rather dumb statements too. .....Here's what one elder wanted to do to a brother that committed suicide. Disfelllowship him! The other elders said they couldn't since he could not appeal.......Any dumb comments from the JWs come to your mind?????

  • blondie
    blondie
    Here's what one elder wanted to do to a brother that committed suicide. Disfelllowship him! The other elders said they couldn't since he could not appeal.

    I guess they never thought of forgiveness. May they receive mercy in the way that they show it.

    Blondie

  • Nosferatu
    Nosferatu

    I always found that children making comments at the WT study were the funniest.

    Conductor: Question 12a; Who is the grand creator and ruler of the universe that has cast his holy spirit onto the Governing body to provide us with refreshing articles like the Watchtower and Awake? Okkkkayyy uhhhh, how about Overzealous Sister's daughter.
    Overzealous Sister: (whispering in daughter's ear) Jehovah
    Daughter: Dahowahh!!
    Conductor: Very good, very good, thank you Overzealous Sister's daughter! Anyone want to expand?

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    The watchtower that sticks out in my mind is the one that suggests that they can find something in common to talk with their neighbours about by taking note of their lawn ornaments. Is there a wheelchair ramp? Then speak of the time of perfection and healing when such things are no longer necessary. Is there a yellow ribbon around the old oak tree? Then talk to them about the time where there will be no need for war. A pink flamingo? Ask them if they are looking forward to a time when they can pet the real thing.

    Lawn ornaments? Of course, having informal conversations with your neighbour would be inadvisable, you might actually find out you like them just as you are. No, don't go any closer than the lawn ornaments.

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    double post

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    triple post. Nosferatu, it is your fault. You posted the same time as me. This place needs traffic lights!

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere

    lol... that reminds me of how they used to drag a dead corps before a court in order to have the deceased tried with criminal charges.

    Upon conviction the corps would have the sentence imposed upon it? such as being flogged or beheaded.

    Oh yeah! That will teach him a lesson!!!

  • Nosferatu
    Nosferatu
    Nosferatu, it is your fault. You posted the same time as me.

    Well, quit posting then ;)

  • Tuesday
    Tuesday

    As the polar opposite of Nos' post we has Brother Long Winded

    Bookstudy Conductor: What is the name of the one true God? .... Brother Long-Winded

    (All the teenagers in the study sigh in anticipation of the bookstudy going an hour longer than it's supposed to)

    Brother Long-Winded: Well as we can see in Genesis 1:1 God who's name is Jehovah brought light into the world, I figured I'd bring in a little known prophesy about Jesus riding into Jerusalem on a Donkey with Palm Leaves underneath him *caugh* I know everything *caugh*, as we can see in Isaiah 23:49 it says that the seed of the lamb, subreference John 22:10, Genesis 47:1, Revelation 20:12, and 1 Corinthians 15:33 which doesn't have much to do with anything but I thought I would bring in because the children of this hall need to know that bad associations spoil useful habits. So Isaiah prophesied that the seed would ride into God's City, subreference Genesis 8:13, Leviticus 13:2, John 5:4 (starts laughing) You don't get it do you....(starts laughing uncontrolably) that's actually a blank scripture, I put it in there to see if you were paying attention! That God's seed would ride into Jerusalem riding on an ass...

    Brother Teen Angst (interrupting): Ah so you were around in Bibical times then?

    Brother Long-Winded: (ignoring Brother Teen Angst) and sure enough he would be treading on top of Palm leaves which as we see is fufilled in Luke 12:12, John 6:17, Matthew 9:4 and Romans 11:37, which all proves the point that God's name is Jehovah.

  • Chloe
    Chloe

    From my husband, whom I'm sure heard it from some elder he studied with: "Birthday cakes are bad because they are round and remind us of John the Baptist's head on a platter."

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit