by breeze 24 Replies latest jw friends
If your 31 year old daughter that lives in your house locked the door to her bedroom with her boy friend inside what would you do???
This same guy is the Father of her son, and pays no child support ......and rarely visits.........
Is she too old to scold???? Would you knock on the door?? Leave them alone to make more babies???
Add any comment...or solution!!!
???????
BREEZE
Are you personally against sex between unmarried people? Are you unmarried and intimate with your significant other? What were your house rules when she moved in?
Blonde (glad she has no kids)
She is still in your house and should respect your rules. If I still lived at home there is noooo way my dad would allow that and I would have to respect his wishes.
To: Blondie
I am concerned about the birth of another child while she is unmarried.....
Sex between two adults is their business....there are many options open to have sex other than my house, why rub it in my nose...
The rules at my house are pretty simple...no sex....is understood....
BREEZE
First of all, she is 31 years old. She has her own life, even if she's living in her parents' house
Second, if she's paying the rent, contributing for food, helping clean the house, there shouldn't be a problem.
The only thing the parents can do is limit how many people stay in their house. If she gets pregnant with another child, and the parents don't want anymore in their house, they have the right to say something.
The parents are her landlords. She isn't a child anymore, she is an adult. She needs to make her own decisions and make her own mistakes.
I once heard a specialist in parent / child relationships speaking on TV. She said that when adult children move back home sometimes both parent and child fall back into their old roles that they played when the now-adults were children, and went on to explain how this inevitably destroys the relationship. She is an adult, and that fact should be respected.
That being said, it is your house, your rules. How hard is she trying to improve her situation. (i.e. look for a job, support herself?)
It's a tough situation, no matter what you do.
I am concerned about the birth of another child while she is unmarried.....
I understand. In your house, out of your house, no BC, can't control that.
Sex between two adults is their business....there are many options open to have sex other than my house, why rub it in my nose...
Good point. Yah, I'm sure his place, a friend's place, a hotel/motel are better alternatives.
It's your house; your rules; no matter what the age of the child. If I had someone move in with us, there would be rules. Paying rent does not entitle someone to break house rules.
Blondie
To: Blondie
I agree and I appreciate your comments...very level headed thinking...
She has a good job and now contributes to house hold.....we paid for her college and she has a degree....
Thanks, BREEZE
If you put aside your judgement about her life choices, maybe you could just arrange with her to do the dirty deed when you're not in the house. I wouldn't want anyone else having sex in my house, married or unmarried, baby or no baby, while I was there. That's just too personal. The questions of baby and marital status are long out of your hands, but the question of your comfort and her rudeness are issues you can still negotiate.
I don't care if my child is paying to live with me ,if it makes you feel uneasy and it is your home she can go to his place or a motel. Just because someone help's pay for there room and board that does not mean they entitled to do what they please. If she would get pregnant you would have the guilt that it happened at your home. My son is 20 still lives at home ,when his girl friend is over the door stays open, if he don't like it he knows he can move. I will not feel uncomfortable in my own home.If i am not home and something happens then there is nothing i can do but if i am i want them to give me respect.
