Did I go too far / How far would you go to protect your partner ? (page 2)

kj

I have a similar situation in my family. My younger brother is 29 years old, has a closed head injury, and is mildly bipolar. He has a hard time controlling his temper, and has gotten violent with my parents and with me. My Dad often excuses this behavior, because he *can't* control it. I know that he has problems with impulse control, but I also think he needs to see that there are consequences for his actions. My parents are in their early 60's, so they are getting too old to have to worry about my idiot brother attacking them.

My husband feels exactly as you do- if my brother ever attacks me in front of him, he will kick his ass. I guess it depends on the person- in my brother's case, he is a total manipulator. He gets away with everything, including not having to work, because he *can't* help it. But he can mooch free meals off my parents and spend all of his money on pot. OK, I'm venting now. But I know exactly how you feel. I don't think you were out of line.

kj

simplesally

Excusing violent behavior is just wrong. People need to realize that they are accountable for their actions.

franklin J

a maniac is being bred....when his mother is gone ( someday) what will he do?

YOU did the right think ( in my opinion).

I WOULD NEVER step foot in that house again and I would keep my wife and children at a distance. When it comes to my family ( especially my kids) ; my unresonable Sicilian heritage bubbles to the surface . I think every parent might share that reaction.

But if I had an adult child; although with a disability; I would try to make him or her as independent as possible; knowing that someday they would not have me to "cover " for them. His mother is doing him a great disservice.

frenchbabyface

Franklin : I would try to make him or her as independent as possible; knowing that someday they would not have me to "cover " for them. His mother is doing him a great disservice.

she only put him in more in trouble ... (Deaf adult do great when they are not treated like kids, cause they are not kids)

Country Girl

I don't know what my husband would do.. But I am a fierce beast when it comes to protecting my house, husband and family, if the reason is unfair. Sounds like your nephew has a nice little cloistered family over there that is afraid of his intimidation, and I'm glad you didn't put up with it. Establishing your place in the family, even by violence, is okay, since the cops won't do it. Someone's got to protect these dilapidated females that don't have enough self esteem to speak up, or press charges, against this monster. Defending your spouse, family, and home is an accepted defense against brutal intimidation and even murder in most states.

Country Girl

Elsewhere

Mug needs to be locked up!

I don't care if someone is "special" or has some sort of disability... if they pose a threat to someone, I'll put'em down REAL fast.

All of you out there who protect these vicious humans under your care, you have been warned.

Years ago when I was a computer technician I had to go out to a client site that was a facility for "special" adults. It was not an institution, instead it was a place where they could go to work on little projects building things.

On several occasions while doing work I saw one of their "special" people become violently angry when denied to do something that would damage something or hurt someone else. In an instant these people would go from your classic "Corky" personality (The character from the show Life Goes On) to one of extreme anger and physical violence. Scared the shit out of me.

After seeing that I have always been weary around these "special" people.

Mary

Sorry, but the mother has used the excuse of his "disability" and has created a monster that's way out of control. Personally, if the little prick had tried this on any of my family members, it'd be the first and last time he did it.

The guy sounds like a frigging lunatic who needs to be locked up in an assylum somewhere. You did the right thing. Can you phone the police and report what he did?? Somebody needs to have a little chat with the mother...........

jwbot

The 32 year old kid has been turned into a sociopath and it was completely preventable. It is dangerous for him to not be in a home. His mother making excuses is unexcusable, it is her fault and now she has to be resonsible.

Did you go to far? Absolutely not! You were protecting your wife. And I would have done the same thing. And you were defending yourself, again, I would have done the same thing. If your wife still has a mark, take a picture of it. Show the police if you have to.

In the future, do not be around this nephew. And tell your sister in law that she is in the wrong and that you are afraid of your sisters and your own safety and can not be around unless something is done. This man is not a reasonable person, he is a sociopath, there is nothing you can do to protect yourself since his behavior is clearly unpredictable, except not being near him.

Netty

I dont think you went to far. There is absolutely nothing I would not do to protect my loved ones, my babies. I have a huge phobia of spiders/scorpions/snakes, but hey all of a sudden for the first time in my life, I killed the crap out of a spider, why? Stupid bug was coming after my baby. (I checked the wall after I went into my the spider must die rage, and there was a hole in in it the size of a grapefruit.)

We all have that instinct to protect our loved ones. You didnt do anything wrong. Maybe you feel bad because he is a special needs person, but dont, you shouldnt, this is not your fault. His mother is doing him a huge disservice by not training him that his behavior is not acceptable.

SixofNine

Did I go too far / How far would you go to protect your partner ?

I keep seeing people say that you were protecting your partner, but of course you were not protecting your partner. You labled it more accurately at the end of your post when you called it "revenge", though it seems a bit unplanned to be that. Sounds like you just lashed out in anger. You could of course, do some run-around thinking, and say "well, ok, the incident was over, but I was 'protecting' in the sense that the dude will now be afraid to ever touch my wife".

Well, probably bullshit. Possibly true however. I can't know from here. But most likely? Most likely, everyone involved is worse off and in more danger than before this incident. You did afterall, call your nephew a "maniac", and for that matter, a "coward". Now just think what a maniac coward with a knife or a gun or wine bottle could do to your wife. Could you stop him? No, you couldn't. Suppose he now wants some revenge himself. Who might he be able to hurt, that would represent you, but not be you (since now he's afraid of you)?

I would hope that you, and everyone else, would love their partners enough to put aside their sloppy passions and use their brain. It's not that what happened here isn't understandable, given the level of anger, but let's not act as if it was a smart thing to do.

If you were actually protecting your partner of course, then a fight is certainly not "going too far".

As for revenge, I certainly understand the sentiment (although revenge against a mentally challenged person would not be very satisfying), and I imagine myself engaging in it, should someone hurt my loved ones. You won't read about it here though, and it wouldn't be a spur of the moment event.

I think you should lean very hard on the authorities to get involved.

Did I go too far / How far would you go to protect your partner ?

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