Who would go to *your* funeral?

by Country Girl 33 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Country Girl
    Country Girl

    For those of you that are disfellowshipped, disassociated, a fader, or formerly non-baptized publishers.. if you had your funeral in a Church, would your JW friends or relatives come to it? I was telling him the other day that I want to have my funeral service in my church, and that my JW relatives would *not* come to it. He could hardly believe that.

    Country Girl

  • Maverick
    Maverick

    I can't think of ten people that would go no matter where it was held. Mav

  • blondie
    blondie

    I told my hubbie to do whatever he wants cause I'll be gone.

    Blondie

  • little witch
    little witch

    Country Girl, who is "Him" ?

    At any rate, I wish to be cremated and my remains buried with my kin in our local cemetary. I do not wish to be viewed except as the day I died. My loved ones will want to see me one last time. That is ok with me. No embalming or viewing in a public sense.

    A simple woman simply laid to rest for me.

  • Englishman
    Englishman

    I'd expect at least 250 people to be present.

    ..and if anyone didn't turn up, I'd haunt 'em!

    Englishman.

  • Magick
    Magick

    i've thought about this one...

    ...the news will go around like a bad cold "did you hear the satan worshipping apostate is dead?" "i'm so glad she died before armageddon...now maybe she'll have a chance!" "that's what you get when you leave Jehovah's Organization... this is a lesson for us." "i heard it was a suicide" "i heard she died during a Satanic ritual." "i heard her husband poisoned her because he got tired of hearing all that Apostate stuff." "she should have stayed a witness...none of this would have happened!"

    a few may come...just to see what a dead apostate looks like...

    then they'll all go out to Denny's... gossip about me some more, make a horrible mess and "forget" to leave a tip.

  • little witch
    little witch

    Magick,

    Would it be wrong of me to be laughing my ass off? It it is wrong, please know that I am not doing that.

  • Magick
    Magick

    lw...sad isn't it?

    i can't help but imagine a scene from the wizard of oz...i just replaced all the characters with ppl i know.

    Munchkins:
    Ding Dong! The Witch is dead. Which old Witch? The Wicked Witch!
    Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead.
    Wake up - sleepy head, rub your eyes, get out of bed.
    Wake up, the Wicked Witch is dead. She's gone where the goblins go,
    Below - below - below. Yo-ho, let's open up and sing and ring the bells out.
    Ding Dong' the merry-oh, sing it high, sing it low.
    Let them know
    The Wicked Witch is dead!
    Mayor:
    As Mayor of the Munchkin City, In the County of the Land of Oz, I welcome you most regally.
    Barrister:
    But we've got to verify it legally, to see
    Mayor:
    To see?
    Barrister:
    If she
    Mayor:
    If she?
    Barrister:
    Is morally, ethic'lly
    Father No.1:
    Spiritually, physically
    Father No. 2:
    Positively, absolutely
    Munchkins:
    Undeniably and reliably Dead
    Coroner:
    As Coroner I must aver, I thoroughly examined her.
    And she's not only merely dead, she's really most sincerely dead.
    Mayor:
    Then this is a day of Independence For all the Munchkins and their descendants
    Barrister:
    If any.
    Mayor:
    Yes, let the joyous news be spread The wicked Old Witch at last id dead!

  • NeonMadman
    NeonMadman

    I'm sure there would be no active JW's there, except maybe for my ex-wife, who would turn up just to make sure I was really dead (which she apparently prayed to both Jehovah and Satan to have happen). She'd also want to find out how long it would take to cash in the life insurance I maintain to protect her alimony award.

    Other than that, there would likely be my current wife, my daughter and her husband, possibly a handful of ex-JW friends, and several from my church. Let's just say they wouldn't have to rent Madison Square Garden for the ceremony.

  • NeonMadman
    NeonMadman

    Actually, now that I think of it, my ex wouldn't go to the service, since it would likely be held in the Baptist church I now belong to, and she'd be afraid the demons would jump out of the pews and grab her. If she absolutely HAD to go in order to collect the insurance money, though, I have no doubt she would take the chance...

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