I finally went to CHURCH----and didn't feel guilty!

by findingme 13 Replies latest jw friends

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  Triple A

  It makes me feel kind of wishy washy and very vulnerable to be so open (I'd learned to close myself off when I was JW), but there is always someone there to give me a hug, and tell me I've come a long way, and that it'll take time to heal.People listen, and comment on their own healing after dealing with authoritarian religions (and there are others who are at the same junture that I am with whom I can talk), but no one tells me how it "should" be, or that I should just pray more and rely on God more. And I am realizing that I need to give in to this grieving process so I can move on.

  For several years, I was SO afraid of opening up to people; now I don't know why I waited so long. I do become weepy sometimes when I relate my past and compare it to my present circumstances. What a difference! To think I once thought I could never find the true me.....

  Do not be afraid to open up to your new Christian friends. Most of us that have never been in the WTBTS do not understand what it is like. Most of think that a JW is just an overly zealous Christian and that is a big reason for the I am a ______ and go to _____ church. We are not educated. You are able to teach them so that they do not slam their doors or give a quick response.

  If it was not for reading the posting on this site I would not have had a clue. I just thought that the WTBTS's doctrines were wrong. But most Christians are not going to come to this site and read. The few JWs that came to church where I attend never opened up. I am now better prepared for the next one that does come to services.

  So all that was to say thank you for openning up and to all the other exJWs that open up on this board and to other Christians they know.
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  Love, Me

  This is my first post here!

  Just had to chime in because I can really relate to how it felt the first time going to church after leaving the JW's. It was scary but fun too. I happened to go to a Pentacostal church (invited by a friend). There was lots of singing and praise, a few AMEN's! No one rolling in the isles though. The people were so happy. Genuine pleasure at being there. So different from the KH robots.

  I felt really bad for my past feelings towards people in other churches. If we drove past a church while out in service we would (in a joking way) roll up our windows to keep the church demons from flying in the car. LOL! Little did I really know of the Holy Spirit. Still it took me 5 years to actually join a church family though. It's hard to break completely from the JW brainwashing.

  Love, Me
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  Pleasuredome

  Actually, regardless of belief or lack thereof, I recommend it for all exJW's.

  At the very least it's a way of expunging some inner demons...

  yer but, LT, i cant be doin with all that bloody singing nonsense and sitting on hard pues.
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  MelbaToast

  I know how you feel...I have been to church a few times, one is a christian church two doors down from me and everyone is so kind!

  When we moved to this house, we had a welcome wagon come and say hi and welcome, inviting us to their church.

  I went, and would start crying for no intelligible reason. I really think it was a mix of joy/understanding/sadness. Especially during the songs. ( I felt dumb because there were so many singing, and I didn't know the words!)

  I never felt guilty going to a church, mostly because its just a damn building! I have come to the understanding that God loves me, and he has a purpose for all of us, weather we know it or not. Just remember your relationship with him is yours and his alone, and no man (or society) can tell you different.

  Melba