Just got back from holidays and read the posts about this topic. Let me clear a few things up to the ones that replied.
I should have mentioned that my story is posted in the womens section entitled "Pretending". Please read it before you judge me. Old habit die hard eh ppl?!?!
I left a 14 year abusive marriage. Crazy crazy story, anyways, I met with the elders etc for months about all of the abuse. They did not df him, even though he sat there and admitted it to them all. Just hung his head and said that yes, he did this, but he wanted to try again. Did not want me to leave. Trust me, I was done. BUT I did not fool around on him at this point. The elders did NOTHING, not once did they ask me how I was emotionally doing, these were my friends, but all they cared about was that I did not leave him. So I didn't. Sure enough about 2 weeks after they convinced me not to leave, he almost killed me. I phoned the police rather than the elders this time and they handcuffed him and took him away, locked him up, charged him and eventually convicted him. It was the worst few months of my life, I was so torn. I informed the elders via telephone what had happened. Did the elders come to see me? NO It was the beginning of my departure. I realized that they cared about saving face, not me as a person. I had been deceived. Did they go see HIM? NO They did nothing except publically reprove him. What a joke. He had restraining orders all over him to stay away from me. He never obeyed them and constantly harrassed me for months until jail was threatened again.
To make a long story shorter. I met someone months after my ex was taken that night. An old romance with an old friend from England was rekindled. It was months before we decided to met again. We fell in love and today we are married.
I am not sorry, I do not regret, I have no guilt, I am only proud of myself for leaving and proud of myself for trying for so so many years to right my marriage.
Let old habits die, do not judge quickly based on one word. "Adultry, homosexuality, etc." There is always always always layers underneath those words.
From my heart, Jez