Why does it hurt so much?

Purza

I am feeling pretty negative today. I got a call from a family member (a successfully faded family member) who asked me if I was going to another family member?s wedding. I told him I had not been invited. I assume it is due to the fact that I am no longer part of the ?borg?. It hurt my feelings, but whatever ? I save money on a gift.

Then my best friend of 30+ years (she is faded, but allows her children to go to meetings) tells me in an email that she is having a party for one of her kids. I ask her who is going and she lists all the names of her family members and others. A bit of background ? her siblings have recently back stabbed her for some stupid offense. But they are ?family? so she invites them to this party. She tells me that she invited everyone on evite.com (but I wasn?t invited). We are closer than sisters (or so I feel that way). So then I ask her (via email) if she invited her boyfriend. (non-witness who recently CHEATED on her). Long pause before her response and she says ? I sent him the invite just so he knows about it, but I don?t want him to go. I. . . on the other hand did not even receive an invite just so I know about it. I am really hurt. I see it as her protecting these dubs from me -- I am harmless.

I am tired of being beaten up by rules and organization has laid out that still affect me to this day. Am I really that evil? I know I am not, but it sure feels that way.

Makes me want to just pick up my stuff and walk away ? never to come into contact with my family or friend. I wish I did not get affected by these feelings of hurt so much.

Purza

Special K

((( Purza )))

It really hurts, I know.

Relationships with j.w. family members is just ..well,..not normal, when one fades or is disfellowshipped. They are so blinded by the WTBTS...it really does hurt.

From my experience with this sort of thing. The pain is sort of always there but as I built up new friends and associates it doesn't hurt like it used to. I will never go back, never. That would be insanity for me personally now that I know of all the false teachings they teach. I just couldn't live like that.

It's hard, but I have to stand by my convictions now.

((( Hugs to you )))

Special K

FlyingHighNow

I see it as her protecting these dubs from me -- I am harmless.

Maybe it is you whom she is protecting from them? Try to look at it that way. Big warm hugs.

Flyin'

Elsewhere

I don't get it... why would she call you to tell you about a gathering that you are not invited to? That's manipulative BS.

Special K

Elsewhere is right.. what's with telling you who all is invited if she knew you weren't. .. interesting..but maybe she meant no harm.

Special K

Purza

Thank you Special K (I will never ever go back either) and Flyin (good point).

Elsewhere -- we talk at least three times per day on the phone and email frequently and the subject just came up in conversation. She wasn't doing it spitefully -- she really was just quite clueless.

Purza

Oh yeah, and I asked her who was invited. When she told me who was invited, I thought I would ask her if her boyfriend was invited -- because I would have bet money on the fact that she did invite him. And I was right.

Purza

JamesThomas

Dear (((Purza))),

It is normal in this world to place much of our sense of joy on other peoples actions and acceptance of us. However, this makes for a pretty rocky road and we can become hurt at the blink of someone else's eye. It doesn't have to be this way.

The world turns and people do what people do, and all the while there is an unmoving wholeness and vastness within us. Find this, and feel the freedom from dependance on others actions or inactions. It doesn't mean that sadness is never felt, it is, perhaps deeper than before, but it is now seen as intrinsic within Wholeness, no-longer a bad thing. You will also notice a natural ease to see past others actions and forgive.

j

codeblue

(((Purza))) Sorry you are hurting today

SheilaM

I agree with Elsewhere what utter Bull ca ca......Closer that sister....I would re-think that ...sounds like my so called ex-friend she pulled the same crap. Friends want you there.

(((((((Hugzzzz))))) Find true friends they do exist and free of the dub bull

Why does it hurt so much?

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