WT Run By Out Of Touch Old Men? Proof!

by metatron 34 Replies latest jw friends

  • SAHS

    Well, come on folks. The Society has reason to warn parents about their youngsters chewing gum (which could end up in someone?s hair), and making Karate-like movements at the Kingdom Hall (which could inadvertently strike someone in the balls).

    If such clearly dangerous behaviors are left unchecked, there is no doubt that it could lead to masturbation, and clinking glasses. Now wouldn?t it be sad, all you moms and dads, to know that your children were observed at a wedding clinking glasses, or saying ?g**d l^ck,? or ?h^ppy b#rthd*y?? (Excuse my language, but I needed to allude to those phrases in making my point. Please don?t disfellowship me, Simon. I won?t do it again. Really, I won?t. I?ll be good now. Really, I will.)

    [For those of you who havn?t picked up on it, this is an old Monty Python fan here, and, yes, I am only kidding! Now, to everyone I shall clink my glass farewell, and say good luck with your masturbation. But please, on a serious note, don?t make any Karate movements at the hall. My balls have been through enough!]

    ?SAHS, of the John Cleese class

  • metatron

    Does anyone need 'good luck' while engaging in self-abuse?



  • candidlynuts
    Does anyone need 'good luck' while engaging in self-abuse?

    well .. i've heard of people that were SOOOO ugly they couldnt do themselves............ so i guess they need good luck or a paper bag on their equipment lol

  • minimus

    "Self-abuse".....You mean masturbation, right?

  • metatron

    yes, I've been watching too much of the History Channel ( Modern Marvels - history of sex technology)


  • jgnat

    What are the youth doing? Ignoring the dire warnings, of course. I see them, perched near the rafters, unchaperoned, unescorted, checking out the action.

    Where are the parents? Sitting primly in their seats, darting a glance to the upper bleachers, hanging on to the day their children will have dispersed their wild oats and get safely baptized. They can't afford to push too far, they could permanently lose contact with their children.

    Except for the nutbar parents. Johnny sits beside mommy as the organization has directed. Mommy leans over and flattens Johnny's cowlick, while handing out safety pins to Susie .... raise that neckline! Johnny and Susie know their parents would dump them in a flash if they ever strayed the line.

  • Mary

    Well I can certainly see why these bony old goats would be so worried about gum chewing and "karate-like movements" at the Kingdumb Hell; after all, there's absolutely no other problems that they need to be concerned about.

    It's not like there's a pedophile problem, or false prophecying, or giving people nervous breakdowns, or devastation of families by way of shunning or anything else going on..........no, they truly are living in a Spiritual Paradise where they've got absolutely nothing else to concern themselves with............

  • frankiespeakin

    Well the very old GBs are trying to make Kingdom Halls meetings safe for the elderly. We must remember that pretty soon the vast majority of JWs will be elderly,,because of the internet and the spiritual garbage food that the GB have been feeding the JWs.

    I'm sure that in the near future only the old timmers will be attending,, as all the youger ones will have left for greener pastures. As they(gb) keep serving spiritual junk food more and more will find it more and more boring and so become inactive and eventually leave. They(GB) don't have any more dates they can pull out of a hat so there is nothing to keep many from leaving as the so called "truth" becomes less and less appealing.

    Soon gone will be the laughter of children from the Kingdom Hall as it will some day only be filled with old brain dead diehards that beleive the end can come any minute.

  • Gopher

    In the congregation where I grew up, many of the kids were involved in drug use, "immorality", and "bad association".

    So what was the subject of the "special needs" talk during one Service Meeting in the midst of all this trouble? What problem was so shocking and disturbing so as to merit a 15-minute part on the Tuesday night meeting?

    The talk was about vandalism. It appears that some of the kids were taking push pins from the announcement board and poking great amounts of little holes in the meeting schedules and other items posted on the board! What disrespect for theocratic order!

    And the kids thought (as was evident by the way they sank down in their seats when the part started) they were going to get a chewing out for being so worldly!

  • NeonMadman

    No, no, no, you're all missing the point...it's not that kids might accidentally hurt someone by making "karate-like movements." It's that some passerby might see these supposedly fine Christian children simulating a heathen practice, and conclude that Jehovah's Witnesses find such blatant paganism acceptable. Reproach would thus be brought upon Jehovah's good name. NOW do you see what a serious matter this is?

    (Am I getting more sarcastic in my old age?)

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