If you ever fly with Air New Zealand....

by PopeOfEruke 12 Replies latest social humour

  • PopeOfEruke
    PopeOfEruke

    you may need some practise to understand their language. Hope this helps.........

    The Pope

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    FOR BIST EFICT, RID THESE OUT ALOUD!

    Milburn - capital of Victoria

    Peck - to fill a suitcase

    Pissed aside - chemical which kills insects

    Pigs - for hanging out washing with

    Pump - to act as agent for prostitute

    Pug - large animal with a curly tail

    Nin tin dough - computer game

    Munner stroney - soup

    Min - males of the species

    Mess Kara - eye makeup

    McKennock - person who fixes cars

    Mere - Mayor

    Leather - foam produced from soap

    Lift - departed

    Kiri Pecker - famous Australian businessman

    Kittle crusps - potato chips

    Ken's - Cairns

    Jumbo - pet name for someone called Jim

    Jungle Bills - Christmas carol

    Inner me - enemy

    Guess - vapour

    Fush - marine creatures

    Fitter cheney - type of pasta E

    Fear hear - blonde

    Ear - mix of nitrogen and oxygen

    Ear roebucks - exercise at the gym

    Duffy cult - not easy

    Amejen - visualise

    Day old chuck - very young poultry

    Bun button - been bitten by insect

    Beard - a place to sleep

    Chully Bun - Esky

    Sucks Peck - Half a dozen beers

    Ear New Zulland - an extinct airline

    Beers - large savage animals found in US forests

    Veerjun - mythical New Zealandmaiden

    One Doze - well known computer program

    Sex - one less than sivven

    Iggs Ecktly - Precisely

    Beggage Chucken - place to leave your suitcase at the earport

  • Stephanus
    Stephanus

    I reckon there's at least two New Zealand accents - the broad one you've parodied here, and a less broad one that is reasonably close to the Aussie accent. I was wondering if it was a North Island/South Island thing, but I've not been able to establish any such link...

  • PopeOfEruke
    PopeOfEruke

    Stephanus

    maybe the "less-broad" accent you talk about belongs to those Kiwis who have lived/worked in Australia for a while?

    But you are right, there are some Kiwis so well camouflaged and well integrated into normal society, that their language impediment doesn't give them away. It'll take years before they are all finally rooted out and eradicated.

    Pope

  • ozziepost
    ozziepost

    Never mind the lingo, what I hate is all those 20cent and 10cents pieces they bring over here, pay us with and then we can't bank!

  • PopeOfEruke
    PopeOfEruke

    Ozzie, EXACTLY!!

    I bought my lunch recently at a local takeaway, and the shop assistant was a Kiwi (heavily dusguised eccent but not too good to fool me). Anyway I tried to pay for my meatpie with a Kiwi 10cent piece AND SHE WOULDN"T TAKE IT!!!

    What a hide! No wonder the Kiwi men prefer the more-woolly bedmates!

    Pope

  • duckie
    duckie

    Just goes to show that the Kiwis are smart cookies, they exchange their coins for Aussie coins and make about 10% profit in the process! That's bright!

  • PopeOfEruke
    PopeOfEruke

    Duckie

    most criminals are bright!

    Pope

  • duckie
    duckie

    LOL - Pope

    Yup (yip), but as I recall, most the notorious criminals were sent to Aussie from the colonies, and the really nice, incredibly bright ones sent to NZ!

  • PopeOfEruke
    PopeOfEruke

    Duckie

    you got me there!!!

    Reminds me of a story I was told when I was in Germany. A German colleague travelled to Australia for a holiday and as he was being checked at Immigration the Immigration officer asked him "Do you have a criminal record?"

    And the German guy replied "No I don't. I didn't think it was still a requirement??"

    Classic reply!!!

    Anyway its true that many Australians are criminals; hell, just look at the Howard governnment!!

    Pope

  • Stephanus
    Stephanus
    maybe the "less-broad" accent you talk about belongs to those Kiwis who have lived/worked in Australia for a while?

    Nope - met them over there over there.

    Just goes to show that the Kiwis are smart cookies, they exchange their coins for Aussie coins and make about 10% profit in the process!

    It works the other way too - I've found Aussie coins in my change in NZ. Makes it handy, not having to exchange it or spend it on your way back!

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