Reinstatement, how to go about it.

by Lehaa 14 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Lehaa

    As most her know I was DF'ed 2 months ago.

    I've always intended on being reonstated, not because I believe the crap, but because it just makes thinks easier all round for my kids, 2 and 6, and the family.

    Does anybody know how I go about this and how long it can take.

    Don't worry I have full intentions of letting my kids know everything about the Borg.

    Your help would be greatly appreciated.

  • blondie

    Well, Lehaa, I certainly don't recommend it but...

    1) You have to attend ALL the meetings. Missing a meeting here is more crucial than it ever was. You have to come in just as the meeting starts, talk to no one, sit it the back. Usually, the attendant will direct you. I don't recommend sitting with family. You have to leave right afterwards; do not talk to anybody, except if you need publications, you must ask an elder on your JC who will either get them for you or direct the brother to get them for you. You can only get the pubs that are available to the general public (no CDs, Proclaimers or Insight books). PS: In my area DF'd cannot sing any songs.

    2) Most elder bodies will not reinstate before a year has passed, unless you are an elder's family member or business partner, or a good buddy.

    3) When about 10 months has gone by, you can submit a letter to one of the elders on your JC (assuming you are in the same congregation you were DF'd from; if not, see #4)

    4) If not, then the BOE in the new congregation will have to contact the JC in the congregation that DF'd you and say they feel you should be reinstated for the following reasons. Then that JC must judge if you should be let back in.

    5) It goes without saying (I love that phrase) that you should not be publicly doing anything that is a DF'ing offense or questionable such as dating a non-JW, dressing improperly, etc.

    6) Be sure to appear properly humble at the meetings; head bowed and sad face.

    7) Even after reinstatement while you are on restrictions (not commenting at meetings, not being allowed on the school, cannot pioneer, cannot be used in demos, etc.), people will "mark" you as bad association. This can last a year too but is not official. Some JWs will mark you for life anyway.

    I'm sure I missed some official steps, but good luck, Lehaa.


  • Holey_Cheeses*King_of_the juice.
    Holey_Cheeses*King_of_the juice.


    From one Aussie to another - Quit while you are ahead.

    You are out. Consider yourself lucky. There are so many pitiful souls still stuck in that perilous cult. Be kind to your children and don't subject them to the deprivation of not enjoying a normal childhood. And that they would be denied by having their mother involved with the watchtower rituals and traditions.

    cheeses. For the love of.

  • Shutterbug
    I've always intended on being reonstated, not because I believe the crap, but because it just makes thinks easier all round for my kids, 2 and 6, and the family

    It may be easier on your kids now, but it certainly will not be easier as they advance in school. Flag saulting, religious holidays and other activities witness kids can't take part in has a very deep effect on kids. Believe me, I know from sad past experience. My 2 cents, don't do it. Bug.

  • Lehaa

    Thanks all for that, especially blondie.

    I was planning on getting reinstated the slowly rading out. I should know that that can never happed, too much head hunting. I just don't want for my kids to miss growing up with their cousisns just because of some dumb organisation.



    I just don't want for my kids to miss growing up with their cousisns just because of some dumb organisation .

    If the borg gets their hands on your kids, they may choose their cousins over you in the future.

    By going back you risk your kids becoming brain-washed and if you talk to them against the borg they will see you as apostate. I beg you to think carefully about the pros and cons of going back. If you go back, you will have to play the WTS game, empowering them yet again.

    Cheers, Bliss

  • ozziepost
    I was planning on getting reinstated the slowly rading out

    Sorry, Lehaa, that's really idealistic - about the only way you could do it is to move. i think you've met a friend in Melbourne who's done that. The problem with "doing the fade" is that the Borg will always be in the background.

    Our fellow aussie, cheeses, is right when he says "Quit while you are ahead".

    You have a golden opportunity to spend some time in analysing what your core beliefs are, so why put yourself in captivity again? It doesn't make sense.

    Cheers, Ozzie

  • exjdub

    "Don't worry I have full intentions of letting my kids know everything about the Borg."


    Another thing to think about. What kind of message does it send to your kids when they, and you, would be spending so much time in something that you don't believe in? I understand the pull that you feel right now and it is horrible that your children cannot spend time with their cousins, however the damage caused by the humiliation and wasted time could quite likely be greater than the immediate problem of not spending time with their relatives. By the way, it's not the children who are disfellowshipped, why are they not able to associate with their cousins? Why are they being punished?


  • Doubtfully Yours
    Doubtfully Yours

    If you used to have good connections, or if your family are some of the heavies in the congregation, they'll reinstate you quickly. When I started attending meetings again I was reinstated in 3 months!

    I attended all meetings and, due to the overwhelming feelings of my family treating me as if I was dead, shed some tears here and there during songs and prayer. I guess they must've interpreted it as me being sincerely repentant of my previous actions; little did they know I just wanted to talk and feel welcome by my relatives and close friends, and nothing else.

    Freaking cult!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If I knew then what I know now, I'd it let it be and let them come to me when and if they wanted. Because of my 'spiritual weakness' right now there are quite a few, relatives and friends alike, that treat me in a standoffish kind of way. I couldn't care less; when they speak to me I'm cordial and polite, but I don't go out of my way to gain their affection. They notice that too.


  • simplesally

    You'll get stuck goiing to assemblies and conventions, not celebrating holidays, etc........Which do you prefer: raising your kids in a normal way, or letting them associate with their cousins??

    Probably their cousins won't see them very often once you become a fader anyway. I'd choose the normal life where they can find new friends, celebrate holidays, birthdays and join team sports. They will have a better life outside the Borg.

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