Let's start a Kingdom Sing-song!

by Woman know your place 12 Replies latest jw friends

  • Woman know your place
    Woman know your place


    ya know all those poncey lyrics to the 'Kingdom melodies'?

    Howabout we 'edit' them a little? Please submit your entries to the board!

    here's mine (ok I'm no lyrical genius...) to the tune of .... shoot, I cant remember, think it was song no 191 or 171.... anyone remember? Because Charles Russel created This religion so grand To him belong all of the dubs Who follow him as planned He translated the scriptures E'en though he knew no Greek! And you will be disfellowshipped If 'gainst him you dein to speak....

  • dh

    i didn't go on sunday
    on thursday i was late
    on tuesday i was still at work
    but the other days felt great.

    i got a call from brother jones.
    he told me they'd a sheperding plan.
    then wednesday night who's at my door?
    'but the window cleaner and post man!

    i think damn, i'm in for it now.
    the shephards have come to visit.
    quickly i turn the tv off.
    because a-team re runs are way too explicit!

    as if i give a shit what they say.
    i just nod my head and silently contrive.
    how stupid they are to think that this wolf.
    would let those shephards leave alive.


  • SAHS

    We thaaaaank you, Watch-Towwwwwer Je-hooooova,

    for yooooour Faithful Slave? faith-ful son;

    who giiiiives us our flip-flopping flapjacks food,

    which we?ll eat or us you?ll shuuuuun to help us run.


  • Gopher

    Move on out move on out from the Kingdom Hall

    Grab a friend it's the end of their time to take your all

    Try your best to get out while you have a chance

    And then you'll get a re-al life!

    There is a place in the world for us all

    The meetings bore you and me, you'll recall

    Get on out don't look back at the Kingdom Hall

    Keep standing firm for joyfulness!

  • gitasatsangha

    Jehovah, please don't burn us.
    Don't grill or toast Your flock.
    Don't put us on the barbecue
    Or simmer us in stock.
    Don't braise or bake or boil us
    Or stir-fry us in a wok.
    Oh, please don't lightly poach us
    Or baste us with hot fat.
    Don't fricassee or roast us
    Or boil us in a vat,
    And please don't stick Thy servants, Lord,
    In a Rotissomat.

    (plagurized from Monty Python I'm not sorry)

  • gitasatsangha
  • Nosferatu

    But as for me,
    potatoes I shall eat,
    with cheese and celery
    'till my plate is empty

  • Undaunted Danny
    Undaunted Danny

    Mine's a simple shower chant:

    [[ 2 Kings 2 Singer
    23 From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some youths came out of the town and jeered at him. "Go on up, you [anointed] baldhead!" they said. "Go on up, you baldhead!" ]]] Singer
    2 Kings 2 24 And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them. 25 And he went from thence to mount Carmel, and from thence he returned to Samaria.

    Black BearCome and get me Maine is loaded with "she bears" Hello! I am taunting the God of the Watchtower Black Bear Come and get me "baldheads' Rave Rave Rave Rave

  • Scully

    If I wanted to make myself ill, I would simply stick my fingers down my throat and be done with it. Who needs to torture themselves with that Kingdom Melodies? crap when it can be accomplished so easily?

    Love, Scully

  • gitasatsangha

    Undaunted.. that don't rhyme and I cant dance to it neither:

    Here's some old recycled ones.

    Kid Publisher" -by Gita

    Kid Publisher, Kid Publisher
    Knocking on your door
    Kid Publisher Kid Publisher
    take a tract, man, I got more

    My folks taught me a wierd religion
    with no education to match
    so if I happen to hit eighteen
    please give me some cash

    I knocked up some young sister
    at one Convention bender
    and I didn't get reproved
    because my dad's an elder!

    Kid Publisher Kid Publisher
    Star Trek reruns rule!
    Kid Publisher Kid Publisher
    Socially inept at school

    When I walk past worldly kids
    they all spit and cuss
    cause I still get "Homeschooled"
    and they have to ride the bus

    so you better get out of my way
    when walk down your aisle
    cause I've got a mic-on-a-stick
    and a shiney Kingdom Smile"

    Kid Publisher Kid Publisher
    You lead I will follow!
    Kid Publisher Kid Publisher
    The End may come tomorrow!

    Move A Buttock

    move your ass
    move your ass
    till twenty-thirty-four
    its the will of our god
    this world lingers on some more

    joyfully keep on milking your retirement fund
    for there is much work to be done

    we have to slave for the kingdom, it's true
    Jesus is busy so you'll have to do!
    don't make God Jehovah destroy you
    and then you'll know love that's divine

    move your ass
    move your ass
    till twenty-thirty-four
    just like in seventy five
    only fiftynine years more

    you'll find the time will go by so fast
    when you disown fam'ly,friends and past

    though wicked hearts among you e'en say
    "I'll kick the bucket long before that day!"
    for your offspring to be programmed do always pray
    and then you'll know joy that's divine

    move your ass
    move your ass
    to twenty-thirty-four
    for a delay of game
    is chance to even the score

    shove some older issues in an old mailbox
    and hope that no one answers your knocks

    though the Faithful Slave treats you like shit
    just be thankful for the manna you get
    and beware of sites on the internet
    and then you'll know nothing! (that's divine).

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