Sick of it all!

by Beloved 18 Replies latest social relationships

  • Corvin
    I just want my parents to accept me for who I am, and let me make my own choices. My girlfriend and I have been together for over a year and a half, and we're still in love. My parents wont change that, but if we get married, and want to be able to invite them, and have them not bite her head of.

    So, my question to all of you: Why is it that JWs can't have relationships out of their religion with parental consent? God doesn't want hatred. He wants togetherness, but why are we so seperated? Why can't we speak to those out of our religion?

    Your parents, along with most other JW's, are conditioned to act and behave just as directed by the WTBTS itself. It is about control as others have already mentioned.

    They will never change, or at least you may not count on them changing. You must move ahead, plan your future, get as far from the cult as you possibly can and never look back.

    Good Luck,


  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie

    Beloved, if it gets bad enough (when you get enough and decide to "kick over the stranglehold on you") you can always go to the Department of Human Resources, child protective agency and get 'em to help you declare yourself an "adult" can get grants and continue your education. It will require some effort and that you work to supplement the income afforded by the grants, but it might be worthwhile to get rid of the overwhelming stress a situation like this can create.

    Frannie B

  • Beloved

    I've read all of your replies, and I thank you immensily for your help.

    My girlfriend and I actually aren't doing so good. I can't get a job because I'm not legal here, and I haven't a place to go or job when I get to the states. My brother actually went to her house last week and got the rest of my stuff. There was a letter inside, pictures, a couple of her poems, and an arrowhead (I adore those things). When I called her, she was crying and upset. Her grandmother's birthday is today, and she's been having a rough time dealing with it. The fact that I'm not there, only makes things worse.

    I need to get my life together.

    I'll update you if anything else happens. Thanks, again, for all your replies, you really don't know how greatful I am.

  • Country Girl
    Country Girl


    All of the above is great advice. The only thing that is going to bring you freedom is financial aid, which can only come from you. People are trying to control you through $. The best advice I could give is to find an unbiased someone to sponsor you while you are in the states, to provide you with a temporary home, so you can find a job. Once you find that job, its imperative to try to get out on your own as soon as you can, to prove to yourself *and others* that you are indeed living your life as you see fit, and they have no control over you. It will indeed make a big difference.

    I had largely much the same upbringing as you did, and I ran away twice. I was severely depressed, but after I got out on my own at 18, I began feeling much better. Freedom was intoxicating. If you can find somewhere to go in the states and *really* try hard to find roommates, a job, and maybe even purchase a car eventually, you will be surprised out how much that can change your life.

    Country Girl

  • Nosferatu
    My brother actually went to her house last week and got the rest of my stuff.

    This definately sounds familiar. Was it really his business to do that?

    I'll tell you something, no matter how much control was put on me, I made damn sure I kept my support system. I didn't care what consequences I faced because I had someone there to comfort me and support me through it all. I highly suggest you do the same. Your brother WANTS you to break up with your girlfriend. He wants to keep you in a cage while he stands outside with a whip.

    If you get locked out, break in (that's what I used to do). Don't let his words scare you. Let him put what he says into practice. He may or may not follow through with their threats. My dad could never keep his word, and he threatened me a lot.

  • Sassy

    sorry Beloved...

  • jgnat

    Beloved, please keep in touch. This board will keep an eye out until you set yourself up, completely independently.

  • Junction-Guy

    I wish I could go back to those teenage years, because with what I know now, I would really give my Dad a piece of my mind and let him know just exactly how I feel about his religion. I never wanted to speak out on the society when I was younger for fear of committing the unforgiveable sin, but if I only knew then what I know now, I would have definitely been more bolder in my opposition, You need to speak up and let them know just exactly how you feel, or else you will regret it like me, I could literally kick myself for not speaking up when I was younger. I presently dont see my Dad that often as he lives in Michigan and I live in Tennessee and what little time we do have together I try to avoid religious conversations, but if I could do it all over again I would have done anything in my power to break my Dad free from the grips of the watchtower society.


  • Beloved

    I'm sorry I've been gone away for so long. I went camping with my brother, and I haven't been able to get online a lot lately. I seem to be forbidden from everything.

    Nos- No, it wasn't my brother's buisness to do that. Some of the stuff, I needed for camping, but it wasn't his buisness to go get it for me, when I could have easily been able to do so.

    I'm going to keep my eye out for appartments and jobs in Michigan, the only thing that is really hard, is if someone wants an interview, I can't go and give it to them. I know my brother doesn't want me on my own - he hasn't done anything to help me with it.

    I might be going to work with my dad for two weeks in Michigan. I'd be getting about $10 an hour, and it would be great to have some money to fall back on. The only thing is that I'll be maybe 20 minutes away from my girlfriend, and I wont be able to see her, much less call her on the phone.

    My girlfriend's been more depressed that usual. Not only is it because I'm here, and our anniversary is coming shortly, it's because her health isn't good. She's 17 and has an ulcer, she's diabetic, and they think she might have a brain tumor or something. Her family's health isn't much better- her grandma's going in for another surgery. She's so depressed, and I feel completely useless because I can't be there. She's always telling me she loves me, that none of this is my fault and that I shouldn't worry because everything will be ok. She says it's ok that I'm not with her, she says she doesn't hold it against me. But it makes me feel bad, because I can't be there when she goes to the doctor's.

    We haven't spoken in over two weeks. All I have is a picture of her. I'm sure she thinks I like it here, I'm always talking about it, always acting like everything's ok. I just don't want to make her more depressed. I know she feels horrible, but there's nothing I can do, which makes me feel horrible.

    I know I should make my world revolve around her, but I don't know what to do anymore. She was my everything, and now my everything is so hard to talk to.

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