Smart Texas Laws!

by Kent 11 Replies latest social current

  • Kent

    I wonder why I feel most of these laws simply HAD to com from the US of "#¤%&= A - but it's true. Never the less, they should tell a bit about the people both accepting, obeying amd making these laws. LOL§

    These simply MUST have been made by George W!

    When two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone.

    Up to a felony charge can be levied for promoting the use of, or owning more than six dildos.

    A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.

    Homosexual behavior is a misdemeanor offense.

    The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.

    No person shall throw trash from an airplane.

    While these isn't:

    It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.

    One needs permission from the director of parks and recreation before getting drunk in any city park.

    But, Texas has got a lot of really great laws:

    It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.

    One must acknowledge a supreme being before being able to hold public office.

    Landing an airplane on the beach is illegal.

    No person shall inhale fumes from model glue.

    Any person who sits on a sidewalk may be fined up to $500.

    It is illegal to drive a motor car down Broadway before noon on Sundays.

    ?Offensive gestures? will not be tolerated at any special event.

    Bicycles must be operated at a "reasonable speed".

    Owners of horses may not ride them at night without tail lights.

    Cattle thieves may be hanged on the spot.

    You can ride your horse in the saloon.

    No one may ride a horse and buggy through the town square.

    It is illegal to urinate on the Alamo.

    It is illegal for both sexes to flirt or respond to flirtation using the eyes and/or hands.

    It is now illegal to place a "for sale" sign on a car if it visible from the street.

    Obnoxious odors may not be emitted while in an elevator.

    It is illegal for children to have unusual haircuts.

    It is illegal to drive within an arm's length of alcohol - including alcohol in someone else's blood stream.

    It is illegal to take more than three swallows of beer while standing.

    It is illegal to sell Limburger cheese on Sunday.

    Beer may not be purchased after midnight on a Sunday, but it may be purchased on Monday.

    Appearing in public places wearing a "lewd dress" is prohibited.

    Churches, hotels, halls of assembly, stores, markets, banking rooms, railroad depots, and saloons are required to provide spittoons "of a kind and number to efficiently contain expectorations into them."

    It's illegal to possess realistic dildos.

    It is illegal to dust any public building with a feather duster.

    Wire cutters can not be carried in your pocket.

    It is illegal to idle or loiter anyplace within the corporate limits of the city for the purpose of flirting or mashing.

    Drivers of city vehicles must respect all traffic rules just like the rest of us.

    (Laws from different counties in TEXAS)


  • Scully

    Thanks for the laughs, Kent!

    Nice to see you posting. :)

    Love, Scully

  • kaykay_mp

    "Somewhere in Texas, a village is missing its idiot..."

    I got that from some CD art of a NOFX album.

  • Kenneson

    "Its illegal to sell limburger cheese on Sunday."

    It should be illegal everyday, year round.

  • Country Girl
    Country Girl

    Seems to me a lady near dallas was arrested for having one of those "lingerie" parties last summer because she was promoting the use of sexual toys. Wonder what ever happened with that case...

    I guess my friend that rode her horse into the saloon and knocked over the owner's cash register could have been arrested. I'll have to warn her about that next time... heheheh. Thanks for the laughs, Kent!

    Country Girl

  • Kent

    These Are New York Laws:

    A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.

    It is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun.

    The penalty for jumping off a building is death.

    New Yorkers cannot dissolve a marriage for irreconcilable differences, unless they both agree to it. That rarely happens, since one party regularly says "no" to the other, or there wouldn't be a reason to dissolve the marriage. If one of the spouses says "no" to the divorce, the other party has to prove that the spouse saying "no" was at fault. Fault could be one of four terrible things. If the spouse has abandoned the other spouse, that is, left the house for a year or if there hasn't been sexual relations for a year (how do you prove that?). Another one of the four terrible things, an oft cited fault, is to assert that the spouse has treated the other spouse with physical or mental cruelty. This is usually the case in most deteriorating marriages, but for the court's purposes, yelling and screaming is not usually enough; pictures of bruises taken in the emergency room might suffice. Divorce will be easy if the spouse has been imprisoned for two or three years. Much more difficult is the last fault, adultery. This keeps a lot of private detectives in business, since lipstick on the collar is not proof. It also means that lawyers get paid to "prove" fault, or on the other side, to show how lame the opposing side's "fault" claim is.

    A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his/her pocket.

    While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands while looking toward the door.

    Slippers are not to be worn after 10:00 P.M.


    It is illegal for a father to call his son a "faggot" or "queer" in an effort to curb "girlie behavior."

    It is illegal for men to go topless in the center of town.

    It is illegal to eat in the street in residential neighborhoods, and the only beverage you can drink on the beach is water in a clear plastic bottle.

    Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business.

    You may not smoke within 100 feet of the entrance to a public building. (This law could be bloody Norwegian!)

    It is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing "body hugging clothing." (LOL - go topless instead, he, he)

    Citizens may not greet each other by "putting one's thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers". (This one is cute. I wonder what kind of idiots living in New Yourk, needed to be told this??)

    During a concert, it is illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on the sidewalks.

    A man can't go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match.


    Guess what? There is a few laws just as stupid from other states, he, he. Tell me, folks - maybe reincarnation is really true. Nobody but George W Bush can be stupid enough to accept laws like these

  • Englishman

    We have some weird one's here too.

    I't's illegal to shoot anyone with a bow and arrow unless the person being shot at is a Welshman.

    If you're in court charged with an offence you can challenge the judge to armed combat.

    You can't buy alcohol between 3pm and 7pm anywhere on a Sunday. Up until recently, that was applied to all day on a Sunday, except for pubs.


  • Cassiline
    A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.


    Hi Kent, Good to see you.


  • Dan-O
    Up to a felony charge can be levied for promoting the use of, or owning more than six dildos.

    Do they make them small enough to fit in ears & nostrils? Otherwise, how many can you realistically promote the use of at one time?

  • Sunspot

    **A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his/her pocket.

    I've been trying VERY hard not to do this!!!! Old habits die hard.

    Thanks for the laughs, Kent!


    Annie.......who needs someone to remind me to kick off my slippers after 10 PM

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