Update: The meeting with my mom....

by desib77 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • desib77

    Just an update for those of you who read about my decision to send my mother a letter.

    My mom received my letter yesterday and then today she met me for lunch. All through lunch she didn't mention anything that would be considered witnessing. I was shocked. Then as we headed out to our cars she said, "You know, I don't know if I can keep from "ever" talking to you about "the truth." I gave her a hug and told her that she could tell me whatever she wanted that I know talking about it makes her happy but I said I just need her to not push her beliefs on me. I told her that I'm neither disassociated nor disfellowshipped and that if she doesn't have contact with me it is by her own choice but that I hate to see something like that happen.

    This was sooooo tough for me to do. I always back down to my mother in person. She seemed so sad, too. It was hard for me to watch. After the conversation she got in her car, still looking sad....then she switched on me. She rolled down the window and wanted to tell me about an a/c they put in their truck. She was actually smiling....and laughing because I told her it would be about $500 and she did it for $150. :) It was so good to see her smiling at me instead of looking at me with pity in her eyes. :) During the conversation she also mentioned somewhere she wants to go next time she is in town. That means she plans to visit. :)

    I am completely aware that this may not end the witnessing but my hope is that it will just lessen a little.

    Thanks to all of you for the support..

  • Shutterbug

    Wow !!!!!!!!! Looks as if you finally got your point across and your mother has agreed to tolerate your position. Congratulations !! Your mother is obviously a sincere person who believes the stuff the WTS is putting out in the Watchtower. Now that she knows she has to take you as you are or not at all, things should be much better for you. Honey, you done good. Bug

  • jgnat

    Wow, she treated your wishes with respect. I think, by taking you to lunch, she was telling you she will love you regardless.


    This makes me so happy.

  • Elsewhere

    Looks like good news to me!

    It appears as though she is accepting the fact that non-JWs are not a bunch of walking corpses who need to be saved from themselves.

  • desib77

    Thanks! I felt really good about it. It's not over but maybe there will be an improvement.

    ((( bug )))

  • gitasatsangha

    YAY! Desi I am so glad you got to have positive time with your mother. I hope that this will be a seed that grows into more visits between you.

  • Double Edge
    Double Edge

    Sounds like it went well..... it's a start!

  • Lehaa

    I'm so happy for, sounds like things with you and your mum are improving. What a great positive start.

    Well done.

  • Scully

    Have you ever noticed how people who spend a lot of time with their grandchildren, talk a lot about their grandchildren? Or people who spend a lot of time gardening, enjoy talking about their gardens?

    she said, "You know, I don't know if I can keep from "ever" talking to you about "the truth."

    She's right. She doesn't have anything else to talk about, because her life revolves around it. My family is the same way. Meetings, service, association with other JWs, assemblies, getting ready for meetings or service, reading the magazines and preparing for the Book Study? is their life. They have nothing else to talk about, because that's all they do.

    Is there some interest that you and your mother share? Could you take a cooking class together, or an art class of some kind? It would give you something special that's just between the two of you, that is not JW-related. It would help her to widen her interests, and maybe it's a way to help your relationship with her evolve beyond the confrontational position that JWs are causing.

    Love, Scully

  • Steve Lowry
    Steve Lowry

    It's all about modifying someone's negative behavior and setting boundaries, and it sounds like you're well on your way in helping her to see what is acceptable and what is not. I think your reponse to her was well balanced and respectful.

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