I am New here and Have a question of utmost importance ! Please Help

by globug 25 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Abaddon

    Lady; check for PM


    Hey, it was meant to be funny... you know, how those who, on average, are the best educated and financially well-off people on the planet are also those who complain the loudest if the status-quo loooks like changing?

    Would you have objected if I'd made a joke comparing the truculance and self-absorbtion of teenagers with left-wingers?

  • avishai
    Would you have objected if I'd made a joke comparing the truculance and self-absorbtion of teenagers with left-wingers?

    Yep. I'm very leftie in a lot of my view as well. Call me a left leanin libertarian. Normally, I'm hard to offend, m'man. But w' the current state of affairs, etc. and the topic, especially cuz she's obviously a dub, I think it might be a good idea to chill the political stuff.

    BTW, abaddon, i've always enjoyed your posts and have a GREAT deal of respect for you, differing views notwithstanding. Although you DID have the handle/board name that I wanted!!!

  • Abaddon

    Oh, despite our difference in view in some areas I also enjoy your posts, especially as you tend to argue fairly (EVERYONE argues unfairly at times, I'm not saying you bad me not). And you're right, let this be about what it is and not get side-tracked. Yizuman's started a thread we can get sidetracked on, although i must admit I'm a bit busy today.

    So, you wanted to be Abaddon too? Sorry! I've used this as handle on various dubbie boards for a long time now, back to 1997 or so on Tishie's board if memory serves me well.

  • mouthy

    My advice is -Take her to a Dr as soon as possible- You go first & explain what you have here.

    This may be a serious issue!!!! The girl needs help & even if it is an "attention" getting ploy! Let her know she has your attention!!!!

    I believe she needs desperate help.... By the way welcome to the board. !Grace

  • TallTexan

    Just my 2 cents. I agree that with all the extraneous stuff she probably needs to see a therapist. I remember going through that stage where it was 'cool' to love everything bad and to hate everything wholesome, even though I really didn't feel that way. I definitely didn't need therapy, just to grow up. BUT, my home life was stable (as stable as it can be in a JW home...lol) and I didn't exhibit a lot of the other signs that she is. I didn't see this in any of the replies, (maybe I just missed it), but also watch her association. It may be that she's getting a lot of this from her friends.

  • Crooked Lumpy Vessel
    Crooked Lumpy Vessel

    I would also suggest therapy and or counseling. Also, be very involved with her life. Show and take her places that allow her to express herself in different ways. Teenagers often are a little like the babies we once knew. Once they figure out how to shock you or push your buttons, they will push them like a 3 year old in an elevator. But since your grandaughter comes from a drug background there may be some kind of an abuse issue that she is acting out in defiance of God, who did not protect her. Of course, these are just thoughts of mine.

    I have 3 children, my most recent is only 2 but my oldest is 22 and my daughter is 20. When my son and daughter got around the age of 14 or so they were also fascinated by the dark side of things. My son would draw some of the most gruesome pictures. My sister, a very staunch JW at the time, use to say all kinds of awful things about my children, but truth is, his pictures were very, very good. He obviously had talent. I tried to get him to draw pictures that were nicer, he tried, but it just wasnt his style. So to appeal to me, he drew some very frightening armageddon type pictures that were just as gory as his gothic dragon like ones. I backed off, I realized that he was trying to express himself. He wasnt doing drugs and I guess as a parent we can always overreact when out babies start expressing themselves with different views than our own.

    I was very involved with the truth and I think this was why they were rebelling. My daughter even took things a step further and did other things that just blew me away. She really knew how to scare me. She would cut herself, sleep with different people, throw fits of rage, take pills. I would just have to keep up with her and in her face all the time. We had her in therapy, I kept myself tough in front of her and would cry in private. I had to be stronger. I just kept myself involved with both their lives as I would compete with their teenage friends. I blame some of it on the way I taught my children through the organization. Everything was about surviving the armegeddon and that God would destroy those who did certain things. I should have focused on the love. I blame myself too. I started studying when my daughter was 2 and hence the religion the way I saw it was ingrained in her. I took a lot of her childhood away with too many meetings. No balance. No fun.

    Now they are both young adults, the phase is over, and they are very well rounded young people. Not perfect, not JWs, just decent, loving young adults. All the crazy things my kids did when they were teenagers are just the past. Neither does drugs and each has respect for family and friends. This of course was my situation, I just hope you are able to draw some insight. Your situation may be completely different, you know best.

    Try not to be so shocked at her behavior. When we show our fear, kids can read us like an open book, heck they have been reading adult behavior since they were babies.

  • Ciara

    I can never understand why people always say about teens, "Oh, they just want attention" and then ignore them. If they want attention, maybe parents should consider giving them some. Otherwise, they just get worse and worse. Usually if my kids start acting like that, I spend a little extra time with them, and talk to them so I can find out why they want extra attention. This has always stopped the problem immediately. My kids are far from perfect and I don't mean to say this is the solution to all problems, but it's definately the road less traveled among parents.


  • Fleur

    get her professional help, asap.

    and tell her over and over that you love her, no matter what.

    this is only my experience, but the kids i've known who did this kind of thing usually felt like they had a deep dark secret to hide, and that made them evil. something may have been done to her that is causing her to make herself appear on the outside the way she feels on the inside.

    tell her she is NOT evil, and that you love, love, love her.

    then hold her hand and walk her into the doctors/psychiatrists office, whether or not she acts like she appreciates your love, she will know its there.

    wishing you the best...poor kid. i really feel for you both. she must be in a lot of pain, and you, at seeing her hurting this way.

  • minimus

    "Globug", why not tell us more, huh?

  • gumby

    She knows nothing about god or satan enough to love or hate either one. Her choosing Satan was an act of rebellion....period....unless she's with a crowd who has influenced her thinking. Young women who rebel get into witchcraft, drugs, prostitution, or anything else they can think of to spit in the face of those that hurt them.


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