[deleted for violating Posting Guideline #1]
How can I get my daughter, who's in j.w. Bible study, to look at this forum
by hubert 29 Replies latest watchtower bible
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desib77
[deleted]
And here we go again....
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kls
I am confused why some posters are being so callus. Did this person do something wrong besides asking for help? Please tell me .
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undercover
[deleted]
Now that's a christian attitude. But then, you're a JW apologist. Shoulda known.
Hubert,
If they choose to become a JW, arguing and trying to prove them wrong is probably going to just push them into it more. The JWs teach new ones that family and friends will try to stop them from studying.
Maybe if you show them a website or book on cults/high control groups and ask them to just compare the signs to watch for against how the JWs act, maybe, just maybe, they'll see some things that causes them to question. If they choose to continue with the JWs, all I can say is to still accept them as your family and let them know that no matter what, they will always be family and can come to you with anything. In time, maybe they'll see your love is unconditional as compared to the JWs "love", which is conditional.
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bigboi
Be the total exact opposite of whatever it is they are being taught. Show interest in what they are learning but always caution them to be careful and to think about the stances they adopt. Even if they manage to get in, this type of approach will ensure that you will always be a part of their lives, which is what is most improtant, imo.
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Lehaa
You are a family member and we are annonymous total strangers. You want us to change their minds. Whats wrong with this picture?
I agree with Desib and kls, just ignore this comment, some just don't know how to be friendly. I agree with a lot that elswhere says. Just do it gradually and don't make out that you hate the JW's or are againts them. Hope you find lot's of help here.
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Bubbamar
Uh-oh...sounds like they are in. I don't really have any advice for you. I would love to get my mom out - she has been shunning me for 18 years. I don't want to apologize for anyone else but a lot of us have been harmed so horribly by this cult - it can be hard to not sound angry or sarcastic when talking about it.
Please stick around. You will get a lot of good information and support here.
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cruzanheart
hubert, welcome to the forum. On behalf of the forum in general, I apologize for the rude remarks that a couple of posters made and hope you will continue to come here!
I was a JW for 46 years (I'm 48 now), so I deeply sympathize with your predicament. Once absorbed into that religion it takes a lot to get out because it plays on guilt. I was already out when I came to this forum, and it helped me with my fears, concerns, phobias, panic attacks, and was a real support group for me.
I guess it's like any addiction -- you can't make someone do something until they're ready to admit there's a problem. If your daughter is happy with what she's learning you won't be able to sway her, so my advice would be to just be yourself and be there for her no matter what.
Take care!
Nina
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kls
Thankyou Cruzan , i hope he is not to late, : (
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M.J.
Perhaps this can help. I wrote a letter to an in-law who I suspected was leaning toward JW membership. The text is below. Also, check out this link
http://www.freeminds.org/psych/club.htm
I gave the letter below to her, along with a printout of this page:
http://www.exmormon.org/tract2.htm I included a sticky note explaining that this article was a good general guideline on the types of questions to ask before joining a religious group. I highlighted EVERY instance in this article where the Mormons and JWs are similar (without mentioning why it was highlighted).
It's important to note that I had established a trusting relationship with my in-law and I was confident that whatever I gave her would be received well. I demonstrated to her that I was open minded and not totally negative. Note that I did my best not to level any direct charges against the WTS, and to not alienate this person at all, but try to open her mind.
One other suggestion is to purchase "letters to the editor" (letters to Freeminds, or formerly Bethel Ministries), which can be purchased from freeminds.org. I hear its one of the most effective things to get a prospective convert to read..
Dear XXXX,
[opening salutations]?One of the issues on my mind these days is my pondering of where you are at religiously?primarily, whether or not you would ever consider becoming a part of the Jehovah?s Witnesses. I?m sure you realize that any kind of a religious decision like this carries huge significance and affects every aspect of your life, as well as the lives of your husband and entire family. My aim isn?t to try and impose any of my personal views on you, but in the spirit of respect and caring, I feel it?s important to communicate a few points that I?m sure you wouldn?t object to.
I think it?s noteworthy to consider that one should not act primarily from emotion when making an important life decision. I know you have strong emotional ties to the Jehovah?s Witnesses, and with good reason: the members have showed you such overwhelming love and support, and several of your family members, whom you love very much seem so totally sure that they?ve found the truth. You may find the group very appealing on many levels, including the sense of community, support, integrity, etc., but nonetheless it is often valuable to take an objective step back from "feelings of the moment" when trying to make sense of something (this includes dating relationships!).
I?ve read many stories of people who became involved with a religious group like the Mormons, Iglesia ni Cristo, Unification Church, The Way International, etc. and felt so drawn to it that they learned to ignore or suppress any initial and natural doubts they had about the group. They were so attracted to the love and attention they were receiving, the strong unity and sense of purpose among the members, and to the fact that the group seemed to have sensible answers for every question about life that they ever had. When deciding whether or not to continue studying with the group, they were already at the point where they emotionally wanted or even needed the group?s message to be true. As a result, when presented with evidence that seemed to discredit the group in any way, they chose not to objectively or honestly consider it, or to ignore it altogether. Most often, the person reacted in anger due to the mental discomfort such information caused them. In fact, some groups even reinforced the negative feelings by warning them that Satan would use family or friends who presented such evidence to try and pull them away from the "truth".
I think its important to remember how so many people dedicate their entire lives to one of the many, many groups out there that claim to be the only way to God. They each feel that loyalty to their own organization and loyalty to God are the same thing. Such people are completely convinced that their group alone has the truth and if you step out of that particular group, you are basically going to be destroyed. So I think its important for anyone who?s thinking of joining any such group not to underestimate the importance of making an objective and informed decision. We are so careful about getting all the facts when we?re making a financial decision like buying a car or making an important investment. Instead of just totally depending on the statements of some salesperson or the company he represents, we do outside research like reading Consumer Reports, reading both positive and negative reviews from others who went through the same buying process, examining the company?s track record, etc. Why shouldn?t we apply this same principle to a religious decision where so much more is at stake? Should we automatically discredit any information that may make us uncomfortable?
Whatever path you choose for yourself, be sure to involve your husband 100% of the way. This I can tell you from experience. I have heard of so many cases where marriages and families were torn apart due to one of the spouses becoming newly involved in a religious group. I try to totally understand my wife?s viewpoints and be as non-judgmental, tolerant, and open-minded as I can, but there is still much underlying tension that we will need to resolve. Please don?t ever distance yourself from your husband if he is not in full religious agreement with you. If truth-finding isn?t a true team effort between a husband and wife, then separation on some level is inevitable.
I have personally investigated both sides of the issues regarding the Watchtower Society for almost 4 years. I have read all I can about what it teaches about the Bible, the practices they advocate, their history and the viewpoints of current and former members. I would say that over the course of the past 3 years I?ve spent an average of 3-5 hours every week on this. I?ve written several long research reports that I haven?t even shown to anyone. I must admit that initially, I approached my research from a very negative stance against the Watchtower Society, but over time I?ve learned to truly understand the Watchtower Society?s position on a matter, becoming much more open-minded and objective in the process. I?ve also learned how to differentiate between fair, objective sources of information and sources that are just angry and out to criticize the group?I tend to conduct my research in private, using Watchtower publications, books, encyclopedias, periodicals, and online sources. So if you ever want to learn more third-party information on this subject, please let me know and I can send information on any topic you request. Of course this should only supplement your own independent research. Whether or not you accept the validity of any information you come across is all up to you, and it should always be that way, no matter what the source is. My email address is:[email protected] I thank you for considering what I have to say as being sincere, from the heart, and not from Satan!
XXXX