Rage, the WTS and JWD - a year's journey (page 2)

cyber-sista

Talesin,

You are several months ahead of me. I am still at the majorly pissed off at the Org processing stage, but do hope to get to a better place one day. I always enjoy your posts and I am so glad that you landed here too.

Love, cybs

frankiespeakin

Tale,

I'm glad you are finding peace.

I think I have peace even with my anger for the WT still strong. In my case I want my anger to stay strong in a good way, for I beleive there is good anger that should not be rejected. Good anger can help to right a wrong, can keep you focused which is good,, up to a point.

I think it is right to be angry at child molesters, murders,thieves,rapest, but only up to a point. I don't beleive in destroying your health because of anger, but there is healthy anger,,, anger that can improve your health if it is "acknowledged" and "worked out" thru appropriate actions.

Therefore I chose to hold on to some anger at the governing boobies, until they are all washed up and out of business. I think bad feeling they have created from me are justified and will harm them until they repent and when they repent my anger will subside. I don't wish to bury or deny the anger for that is dangereous and harmful to my self.

talesin

kls

Why, whatever could you mean?

Sin

You're welcome. It's so good to have you to share my journey with. You made me think of an old song,

"It's a long, long road, with many a winding turn, that leads us to who knows where? ... But I'm strong, strong enough to carry him. He ain't heavy, he's my brother."

We carry each other. ;)

willyloman

I look forward to reading your story. Actually, I always look forward to reading you. You have real heart, and it shows in your posts.

"the past 12 months, which began with me as a JW elder of long standing and ended with my whole family taking firm steps to shed the WTS"

WOWZERS, what more can I say?

I hope your recovery is going well. Take it easy, it takes a few months to get your energy back after surgery. It's been since March for me, still feeling kinda crotchety.

frankie

Thank you.

"I don't wish to bury or deny the anger for that is dangereous and harmful to my self."

Yes, there is healthy anger. The above is so true. I feel anger every time I read stories on this board, every time I read of child molestation, and many other injustices. Acknowledging it, expressing it, and ensuring that it does not dominate our lives is key. Remember to experience the joys in life. I know that you search for inner peace and your comfort zone of spirituality as well, and I believe you will find it. ;)

talesin

cybs

I remember your first post. I felt an immediate connection, and always look for your posts. So glad you're on this journey with me, too. It does take a while, and I had over 25 years out of the lie before I came here. All that rage for all those years ---> scary, huh? No wonder I used to be sick all the time.

I'm glad you and the others have JWD from day one to help in your healing process. :D

patio34

Dear Talesin,

Thanks for that neat post and for sharing it with us. I concur with your feelings and experienced much of what you did when I first came here. I particularly thought this thought was beautiful and I'll remember it:

I feel a new peace inside, a realization that I have finally moved on from bitterness and self-pity. I think of that phrase 'an incredible lightness of being'. It describes how I feel, now that I have dealt with my rage. --Talesin

That really describes it (incredible lightness of being) when those oppressive feelings lift.

As far as finding your tribe, that's how I feel too. I had looked at political discussion boards as that seems a better venue for those discussions, but just can't get interested in them. This is my tribe too.

Hugs,

Pat

notperfectyet

Talesin, Great post and good read.

I thought I was over sooo much of this, but I ran into a very good friend of mine today. An elders wife who her and her husband were the only ones who stood by me through thick and thin. She hugged me in a very busy store, I haven't talked to her in over a year, I had a panic attack. I started shaking and I couldn't stop. She asked why are you shaking? I told her new medication I was on. I gave her my new address, something I vowed I would never give out to another living soul unless I trusted them.

I have so much rage in me, from what I have been through with the witnesses, I couldn't tell her that though. The only questions she asks are, You making it to the meetings?

I can't believe I am still so affected by the witnesses.

I just realized I have a way to go.

You hang in there tail, you are doing great.

talesin

Patio

Yah, I looked around a bit, too, and decided this was the place for me to stay. Here, with all you folks, {{{my tribe}}}.

I'm glad you like that phrase. For a couple of months now, I've been feeling this way, but couldn't put it into words. Then, while I was sitting here writing this topic, it just came to me. It felt so 'right'.

NPY

Thanks, and yes, we'll both get there. I read your 666 post. And you have been to hell and back recently, from what I could tell.

It's not really that amazing that it takes a long while, you know. Think of the isolation, brain washing, guilt trips, and on and on ad nauseum. I think you are doing just fine. No, more than that, you are doing great! Give yourself a big old pat on the back.

I'm hoping to get to Dallas in '05. Maybe we'll get to meet, I'd like that. ;)

exjdub

Talesin

Great read as usual. I think you connected something that people have asked about on other threads: If you are beyond the rage what good is it to come to this board? What you said answered that:

"On days that I read of new injustices, or have a bad experience with a family member, I am momentarily angry, but I can now let it go instead of ignoring it and burying it deep within me."

I feel a new peace inside, a realization that I have finally moved on from bitterness and self-pity. I think of that phrase 'an incredible lightness of being'. It describes how I feel, now that I have dealt with my rage.

Just explaining that helps others through the incredible anger that frequently happens when you leave the Borg. If by posting your experience it has helped even one person understand the rage they feel when leaving the Borg, then you have done well. Congratulations on finding peace.

exjdub

Simon

I can identify with a lot of what you posted talesin.

The things they have done and the way they have treated you can make you angry but the important thing is, like you say, to not let this anger eat you up and consume you making you bitter and ultimately possibly ruining your life after and outside of the WTS.

You have to let go.

Trying to hold them to account is one thing but making "destroying the WTS" your lifes goal is a big mistake IMO. All it does is hurt yourself.

Sadly, I think there are examples of people who just become so obsessed with revenge and retribution and eaten up with bitterness that they become blinded by hate and end up lashing out at those who have also been hurt by the WTS. Others focus on positive things like trying to help others to move on and I think these do much better as normal, well adjusted people ... well, as normal as you can be after the WTS 'experience'.

Rage, the WTS and JWD - a year's journey

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