When is it ok to have sex? (page 5)

talesin

True, true. I love PJ. Anyone reading, pick up his book of essays, Holidays in Hell, I guarantee you will love it!

t

iiz2cool

When is it ok to have sex?

I think the middle of the afternoon is a good time to have sex. You can see what you're doing without turning the lights on.

Saves on electricity.

Walter

Valis

Walter...close the blinds! *LOL* I say anytime you don't get caught in public, whether by yourself or not...*LOL*

Sincerely,

District Overbeer

codeblue

When in doubt "don't"...listen to your inner self...you have to live with yourself. I think that is the bottom line. No matter what advise has been given.

It is good to know you are thinking about any consequences...many people do not consider it at all. There can be huge consequences if you don't cover all the bases..(including your conscience)

I can tell you I waited till I was married...because I definitly wanted to live by Bible, moral standards...but that was "my conscience"...

Listen to your conscience, inner self...that way you can always sleep good at night.

Codeblue

I think that if you're questioning your own decision making abilities then you aren't ready. I think that many teens and even young adults don't listen to their own minds or guidance and simply give in to peer pressure/what have you.

Growing up it wasn't cool to be a virgin. I was. Not from a lack of boyfriends, but because I simply wasn't comfortable with them to that degree. My feeling about sex is that is it deeply personal and intense and if I can't connect to someone on every other level like that, then I shouldn't be doing so on the physical level. (That's my personal feeling, I know many don't necessarily agree, and I can understand and even respect how others' view sex/making love.)

I joined the JWs at 21, a virgin. I felt ashamed, and backward, even with that as a safety net (I'm not 'allowed' to, and that's why). Some days I felt like I was wrapped in plastic wrap, sterile, untouchable. Those feelings can be really hard to deal with, especially when you're grappling with so many other emotions during adolescence.

I'm no longer a virgin (over the age of 30), and I'm not married. But I am in a committed, loving, mutually respectful relationship. I can talk to him about anything and everything, including all aspects of sexuality, disease, and possible repurcussions. For me, this was when I was ready, when I could be sure that he knew me as a person, we communicated and had a good relationship out of the bedroom, and that he would be there the next day and the next day after that. I'm glad I didn't give in to the 'left out' feelings I had for over 10 years, this is much more special and I can't imagine sharing this with someone simply for the sake of 'losing my virginity.' (I'm in an online gaming community where an 18 year old girl just lost her virginity for the sake of doing so, posted it to all her friends in her livejournal, and then within about a week, regretted it horribly.)

You sound like you know what you aren't ready for. I would suggest if you stay true to yourself and continue to listen to your own mind and not the pressures around you, even when it makes you feel awkward or bad, you'll be fine. And like so many have said, protect yourself physically, protect your partner as well. That's the responsible, and mature thing to do.

xLaurax

Just reading through some of the posts there and alot of you are saying not before your 18 etc. but in this day and age that really is easier said than done when sex is in your life everyday from tv to radio and even in school now.

I agree with you OS when you say the 'ideal' time to have sex is when you are married but it takes a hell of alot of restraint for you to wait that long. Personally i don't believe that i would be able to do it.

I'm only 16 and not a virgin.. my first time was with my bestest friend in the world and i do not regret anything about that cos i believed that at that time i was ready. It did kinda screw with our friendship because there were complications but at the end of the day i would not turn the clock back. But sex when you love somebody e.g. sex with my boyfriend is so much more loving and feels alot more natural. But realisitically not many teenagers now will be able to wait until marriage because sex is so publicised so the main aim now should be to keep sex safe.

So long as you are protecting yourself and not sleeping with different people every week - like my mum always told me 'put a price on yourself' - don't just sleep around and don't let anyone take advantage of you

But hell OS we've gotta cure you of your shyness before you can even start thinking of sex! Lol!

xLaurax

confusedjw

aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CeriseRose

*grins @ Laura*

Well, hon, I said in my post, it wasn't cool to be a virgin as a teenager either during 'my time.' I'm in my mid thirties now. You can bet that probably about from the late 60's on, there has been peer pressure in the teenage community. I don't think anyone who posted on here did so without realizing or remembering how difficult that time was.

I grinned because it's the same thing my peers said during out teenage years, the same thing I heard my nephew saying the decade after, and the same thing my sisters said the decade before mine. It's not really a new argument.

I think what you're seeing on the board is the benefit of 5, 10, 15, 20 or more years of hindsight. No one said it was an easy thing to 'wait,' and nor did a lot of people (at least that I read) put an age stipulation on it. Most said 'how' to know when you're ready, not 'what age' you'll automatically be ready. Because most of us know that you can have a really mature and with it 17 year old who is sexually active and well-adjusted, and a 24 year old who still can't get their relationships right.

Max Divergent

Probably just after you no longer feel a need to ask....

Country Girl

It was pretty easy for me not to "do the deed" because I had made up my mind that I would wait til I was ready and not a minute earlier. When you have never done that, it's easier because you don't know what you are missing. I was also very terrified of males because of all the fear my parents had put into me of being ashamed if I would get pregnant. Also, I was watched like a hawk. Hehehh. That helped alot. I did have a high school boyfriend that I went with for three years (we only had "dates" when I could sneak out -- and most of our relationship was at school) so most of our high school life was spent in crowds. Occasionally we could be alone, but I was very wary of him putting his hands where they shouldn't be, and would screech in horror. Yes, I was a virgin, but not a very pleasant one.. heheheh.

Eventually he tired of it and found a girl that would put out for him. I was heartbroken to the nth degree. Imagne if I *had* had sex with him, I would have been devastated! I waited til I was in a committed relationship and it was something I had thought about over a long amount of time, and I knew it was right. I think it should be like that for *all* people: that they choose it. They are not pressured or belittled or begged.. but CHOOSE it.

Just my humble .44 cents.

Country Girl

When is it ok to have sex?

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