How do you interact with your worldly relatives? (page 2)

Fleur

awww, man, new light ((((((((((((((((((((new light)))))))))))))))))))) i know how you feel sweetie. i'm a fourth generation-er myself, my family is now working on the fifth generation of dubbies with no end in sight. so sad.

i have inherited beautiful family through my husband. his family is small, but close and they have welcomed me and my child with open arms. the first year we celebrated christmas (2000) my MIL came on a cramped plane with boxes of family ornaments (she left out anything overtly religious, she's very sensitive to my feelings on that) and she explained to me and my daughter what each one meant, who had made it, many were from relatives who have passed on. we decorated our tree at thanksgiving cause that was when they were here, and i can't tell you how we bonded.

every year now we decorate the tree together if they can come for thanksgiving (too hard for them to travel at x-mas). we share b-day gifts and cards and the like. it's a joy, and i know i am lucky to have family that can celebrate with me.

i can only hope that family of your choosing, through marriage or otherwise will come into your life newlight, to help fill some of that void. i know it won't go away completely, but i hope it gets better for you.

hugs,

fleur

eyegirl

i guess i'm fortunate in that my worldly relatives realized i had little control in the past. now, as an adult, i make my own decisions. we enjoy the time we spend together and don't take it for granted.

patio34

Most of my family left the dubs too. I do feel bad about some who were out earlier than me and I didn't socialize much with them.

Pat

dh

haven't really got many relatives so it's never been an issue.

blondie

We were at a non-JW family event this weekend. A couple told us privately that we glad we made our decision. Some know my JW family and understand the need to be discreet. We always had fun with them but they are less tense now.

Blondie

ColdRedRain

My "Worldly" relatives may as well be dubs. They're also fundimentalist Christians, and what's worse, they've bought into the borg's idea of how they're the closest thing to Christianity that it would ever become.

I remember something Sass told me when we still were both dubs. You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your family.

HappyDad

Hi pratt1

HappyDad

Hi Pratt1,

Don't know how I posted before I answered but here goes................yes......I have missed decades of interacting with all of my "worldly" relatives. They're not too many of them left now so I call them frequently to let them know that I love them. The "I love them" consists of an aunt and uncle in California and an aunt in Pittsburgh. I let them know that I am no longer associated with the JW's and we are ok with the loving relationship. \

The ironic part is that THEY always loved and cared about me........but in my JW fog......I could care about nobody.......why they were dead people...............what a mistake I lived............

But, you know what? I have learned to "NOT FEEL GUILTY" It wasn't my idea to not love them........it was the idea of Brooklyn to "encourage" me to not associate.

HappyDad

fleur,

I just read your post and I need to say that family bonding after the WT is beautiful.

Even when I was IN.......there were a few times I visited "worldly" friends homes around the holidays and saw the family bonding and wished I could have the same thing..........Oh what we have missed!

HapyDad

zanex

I have a large worldly family that I have only within the last 4 years started to finally bond with and it is strange I agree...I found myself too having feelings of resentment because of being left out of so much...I even got the nickname the "lost cousin" cuz me and my jw sister were never there for ANY of the family gatherings...im 29 now and have become set in many of my ways. It is hard sometimes but they are patient with me. The fact that religion doesnt affect whatever they are to me makes it very easy for me to feel comfortable with them. I do appreciate my extended worldly family very much but wonder sometimes if I am a dissapointment to them. Ultimately I just try to do the best I can..one way or another it always seems to come out in some type of logical looking chaos...

-Z-

How do you interact with your worldly relatives?

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