Will the bully be punished?

by Schizm 13 Replies latest jw friends

  • Schizm
    Schizm

    The following two reports are about a 13-year-old JW boy who finally struck back at the one who bullied him for 2 years. You will notice that neither report says anything at all about any sort of punishment being meted out to the bully. The victim is to be punished while the REAL villain got off scot-free ... without even a slap on the wrist. It appears that the only "justice" there will be is that the bully will have to live with the facial scar the rest of his life. Just think, he'll always be asked: "What happened to your face?" Will his reply be: "Well, you see, it was sorta like this: I was cruel to a fellow classmate for an entire 2 years, and after he had finally gotten enough of me bullying him he stabbed me in the face with a pencil." They pushed this boy's buttons to the breaking point and when he pushed back they cried "foul".

    http://www.news-daily.com/articles/2004/05/06/news/news1.txt

    Monday, May 17, 2004

    Bullying victim gets probation By Ed Brock

    Daryl Gray stood up after his sentencing in Clayton County Juvenile Court and, with a single tear running down his cheek, declared that he was not a criminal.

    Gray, 13, said he has been and continues to be the victim of bullying at school and was just fighting back when he stabbed another student in the face with a pencil during a March 9 class. Gray was found guilty of aggravated assault last month and on Wednesday Juvenile Court Judge Leslie Gresham found him to be a delinquent child, gave him probation and ordered him to pay over $300 in restitution to the victim.

    "Just because I was trying to defend myself they want to say I'm guilty," Gray said. "I feel like I'm going to continue to be abused at school and nobody's going to help me."

    Gray's mother Jeanette Gray and his lawyer Audrey Johnson stood by his side and said they were very unhappy with Gresham's sentence.

    "He is not a child," Jeanette Gray said. "It should never have gotten to this court."

    "The message is conflicting for children," Johnson said. "They're being taught that they can't fight back."

    Daryl Gray said that for almost two years now he has been subject to physical and verbal abuse at Pointe South Middle School in Jonesboro. The children call him gay and every day somebody wants to pick a fight with him. It has come to a point where he no longer wants to go to school.

    "They call me white, they call me everything," Gray said. "They even say things about my mother."

    But the mother of the 13-year-old boy who Gray attacked said her son has suffered, too. His face is permanently scarred and the injury from the pencil required nine stitches, the mother said.

    Recently when she was helping her son with his homework she had a pencil in her hand, the mother said.

    "He just shouted out ‘Get that pencil away from my face,'" the mother said. "I just wish that kids could go to school and be educated without going through all this stuff."

    On the day of the fight, Daryl Gray said, another student began instigating the fight and at one point the victim came over and started telling Daryl that he wanted to fight him. The teacher told the student to go back to his seat, but instead the boy sat next to Daryl and kept telling him he wanted to fight, Daryl said.

    "I got up and walked away, then he punched me," Daryl said.

    Jeanette Gray said she's done everything she can to get school officials to stop the bullying but all they have done is transfer him to another class.

    "His first day in that class some kid he didn't even know came up and hit him on the back of the head. He came home with a headache," Gray said.

    And she said that the bullying against her son continued even to the day before the hearing and seemed to be made worse by his appearance in a newspaper article regarding his plight.

    "He said a couple of kids started picking on him saying you're gay anyway, now you're going to jail," Gray said.

    Gray said she filed a request with the school board on April 27 requesting that her son be transferred to another school but Clayton County Schools Assistant Superintendent for Area 3 Linda Tanner said she had not seen the request.

    "We will assist her in any way," Tanner said.

    Tanner said that school counselors go into the classrooms at the beginning of the year and talk to the students about what kind of behavior is not tolerated. Teachers and students are also told to report any instance of bullying to administrators.

    But Tanner also said students who are being attacked by bullies are only allowed to restrain their attacker or ask for help from a teacher.

    "Students cannot fight back," Tanner said. "Violence is not the answer to bullying."

    During Wednesday's hearing Johnson called several witnesses to testify about Daryl Gray's character.

    "Daryl is a fun child. He has a sense of humor," said Gloria Fuentes who met Daryl through a Spanish class at the Grays' church.

    The Grays are Jehovah's Witnesses and Fuentes said Daryl loved to talk to people about the Bible.

    Also as part of Daryl's sentencing he will be required to complete 16 days of community service, but Gresham said that since he is active in his church the work he does there would be applied to his meeting that requirement.

    Gresham also required Daryl to join the juvenile court's family orientation counseling program, but said she was hoping to find some program in the county that dealt more specifically with coping with bullying. However, neither Assistant District Attorney Christopher Montgomery nor Johnson were able to find such a program in the county.

    "That's a huge problem," Johnson said.

    Daryl will also have to join the Awesome Inc. mentoring program. Because Daryl was 12 years old when the incident occurred the charges against him could not be considered a "designated felony" in which he could have been subject to a five-year incarceration.

    He could have been detained for up to two years, but Juvenile Court Judge Steve Teske said that, in general, the nature and circumstances of the incident are considered in the disposition of juvenile cases. Judges have the discretion to consider whether a child is the victim of bullying when they attack another student, even if that child uses more than reasonable force and is therefore still technically unable to claim self-defense.

    "In many cases the child doesn't have to go to restrictive custody," Teske said.

    Daryl Gray said he wants to be either a video game designer or an engineer later in life, and that's one thing that helps him deal with the abuse he faces every day.

    "I just think about the things I will make when I grow up," Gray said.

    What follows is a small portion of an earlier report on this same incident:

    http://www.tallahassee.com/mld/tallahassee/news/local/8576180.htm

    Posted on Mon, May. 03, 2004

    ATLANTA - A 13-year-old Clayton County boy, who said he was bullied for more than two years, will be sentenced Wednesday after striking back at one of his classmates.

    At his Jonesboro middle school, Daryl Gray says he has been hit, called gay and even had his shoes urinated on in the school restroom. But in March, Daryl, a Jehovah's Witness who had not been in trouble before, struck another boy in the face with a pencil. The boy was seriously injured and has been left permanently scarred.

  • Celtic
    Celtic

    My heart went out to this lad. Not only does he now feel that his voice is not being recognised or heard, but he has been made to feel isolated and alone without a voice or true representation. Not only that, but most likely his problems have just been exacerbated by the fact that the elders in his congregation now have him marked out since they would blame him for bringing 'Jehovahs one true organisation' into disrepute, further compounding his problems and sense of powerlessness and isolation.

    It is good that he has dreams upon the future, is making plans for what he wants to do within his adult life as a career. However, what of now, in his childhood, shouldn't he be enjoying the freedom of that too without all this pressure?

    This judge also that sentenced him in my view unjustly, could we not petition many letters from this site showing him where we felt his judgement in this case was wrong, and explaining our reasons and also post this same petition to the local media in that location?

    I wish earlier I had seen this post. I would have perhaps posted my thread on bullying here instead. This is one of the best resources on bullying I have seen, it really is excellent! http://www.bullyonline.org (There are too links to bullying information around the world from here, indeed, online, it is perhaps one of the largest resources upon the subject, covering every imaginable subject area). When you really really think about it, the organisation is an organisation of bullies, telling you how you should think, how you should dress, how you should talk, what you can say, what you cannot say blah blah blah, see too this checklist to see if the cult you are with, or have left bears, the hallmarks of a bullying organisation

    http://www.csj.org/infoserv_cult101/checklis.htm

    Think about the organisation as a group of bullies, it does aid recovery and makes a huge amount of sense, enjoy your journey out from such.

    My kindest regards

    Mark

    http://www.can-online.org.uk [email protected]

  • talesin
    talesin

    Bullying is taught at home, imo. These kids learn intolerance from their parents, then act it out at school. It's infuriating, to say the least. I put up with it my entire school career, but was too meek to fight back.

    This judge also that sentenced him in my view unjustly, could we not petition many letters from this site showing him where we felt his judgement in this case was wrong, and explaining our reasons and also post this same petition to the local media in that location?

    I would support this action in deed.

    talesin

  • SuperMommy
    SuperMommy

    This truly sad. Telling a kid that he can't fight back makes him feel even more vulnerable. The school wouldn't protect him. and then they won't let him protect himself. He was like fresh meat circled by the wovles.

  • Schizm
    Schizm
    Bullying is taught at home, imo. These kids learn intolerance from their parents, then act it out at school.

    I concur with what you say, Talesin. Yes, I think that's true in far too many cases. But I also think that in a lot of cases the bully has learned his trade from others at school. In the case where the bully has learned intolerance at home, the parents are even more blameworthy than the bully. But do we see the mother of this particular bully accepting any responsibility for what her son had done? What we see, instead, is her having said: "My son has suffered, too. His face is permanently scarred and the injury from the pencil required nine stitches."

    Wouldn't it have been nice to have heard her say something like: "My son's own actions is what caused him to be injured. He should be ashamed of himself!"

    Schizm

  • glitter
    glitter

    But Tanner also said students who are being attacked by bullies are only allowed to restrain their attacker or ask for help from a teacher.

    "Students cannot fight back," Tanner said. "Violence is not the answer to bullying."


    Oh for crying out loud - someone ought to subject her to the sort of abuse this poor lad's gone through and see how easy she finds it not to defend herself; telling a teacher obviously did *loads* of good in this case.

    This is the fault of the bully, the bully's family for raising him to behave appallingly and the school for doing nothing about it.

    I'm not in generally in favour of bullied kids changing schools as a) it disrupts their schoolwork (especially if topics are done in a different order, etc) and b) bullied kids are bullied for a reason (easy target), the problem will just start up again; but it's gone so far in this case I hope he gets a place at another school where no-one knows him or what's happened.

  • roybatty
    roybatty

    I hate to sound shallow but I'm thankful that my son is huge for his age and that both of my kids are "popular" and aren't known as JW. The crap i had to go through as a JW kid in junior high was just awful. Most high school in this area are large enough that every kid can at least find some group to join but junior high is brutal.

    I don't know what I would have done if I were still a JW and had JW kids that were being bullied.

  • Schizm
    Schizm
    But Tanner also said students who are being attacked by bullies are only allowed to restrain their attacker or ask for help from a teacher.

    "Students cannot fight back," Tanner said. "Violence is not the answer to bullying."
    Oh for crying out loud - someone ought to subject her to the sort of abuse this poor lad's gone through and see how easy she finds it not to defend herself; telling a teacher obviously did *loads* of good in this case.

    It appears that the teachers weren't really trying to intercede in the boy's behalf. Perhaps it's because the teachers are also prejudiced against JWs, with the result that they turned a blind eye to what they knew was going on and deliberately allowed the bullies to persecute this kid. Most teachers know that JWs won't salute the flag, nor defend their country in time of war. Although I don't think they'd ever come right out and admit to it, there are many teachers who really feel a disdain for JWs. Most teachers are highly patriotic, and as a result probably sympathize with what Merle Haggard said in a song: "They love our milk and honey, but they don't believe in fighting." There are many school teachers who are illiterate when it comes to properly handling situations like the above, and the same can be said of many school administrators.

    Schizm

  • glitter
    glitter

    I've just emailed the headmaster of the school expressing my incredulity that he and his staff failed to such an extent that this happened in the first place.

    The email address given on the school's site is: [email protected]

  • Schizm
    Schizm

    Glitter,

    You have my respect, dear one. I plan to do the same here in a little while.

    Schizm

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