An apology to you all...

by CeriseRose 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • CeriseRose
    CeriseRose

    I just finished commenting on Minimus' thread (oh man, I hope it was his thread now...not enough coffee yet to be fully brained today...). Anyway, it was the thread on how everyone was choosing to leave/has left from the Org.

    I hate with a passion the fact that I was judged while in the WTS. I've said elsewhere on this board how demoralizing and inhumane I found it. And it all of a sudden hit me. I did the same thing to others...not JWs and their personal choices and activities (or lack thereof), I was very compassionate around those who were struggling or having problems. But I fully judged and branded those who left the organization, going along with the 'company line,' without thinking about the people behind it or their possible reasons for why they'd leave.

    Now, I know that I was doing what I was told, part of the brainwashing. But before the JWs invaded my life I did have compassion and empathy, and didn't judge others.

    You all are the faceless and nameless people I judged. And I am humbled at the depth of caring, concern, love, and downright humanity you all display, even when you disagree with one another. I know you didn't know, but I judged you and found you lacking by standards that were unfair and inhumane. I was so very very very wrong and for that I apologize.

    And I'd like to thank you all for showing that caring in active and honest ways. I needed this place desperately after leaving JWs. I still do (although not as desperately). Thank you all for being here.

  • pudd
    pudd

    hi CeriseRose I understand how you feel. That is one of the things that hit me hard after I stopped going to meetings. how judgemental I was! I did not realize it at the time but I was. When I was a teenager quite a few of my friends left the truth. I was heart broken as I was convinced that satan had won them over. I dutifully shunned them and thought I was better as I had remained faithful! It is shameful really, but we all did it. Don't beat yourself up about it too much though. You were a victim of witness teachings and did what you thought was right at the time. Pudd

  • nilfun
    nilfun

    Say "bye-bye" to the person I/you/we used to be.

  • Feisoul
    Feisoul

    Hi CeriseRose,

    Do not worry for anything, you should not even do a post like this. But I understand that sometimes it's good to throw everyhting out of ourselves.

    I understand that we can all judge people for any reasons, but really you have nothing to be blamed for.

    Just keep on posting on the board, and keep participating on any topic. This forum is made for that, and we all share our experiences as a JW or not.

    I'm always glad to read any stories and any opinions of each of the members here.

    I hope you're fine Cerise !

  • EyeDrEvil
    EyeDrEvil

    Cerise,

    I know EXACTLY what you are saying here. I was having the same feelings after leaving the Matrix. Co-workers, parents of my children's friends, "apostates." I too judged them (not out loud, but always at some level of thought) while still a JW.... I felt that I owed each and every one of them a heartfelt apology.

    And now... who are the people who offer true, unconditional love and friendship? Those same people that I judged. Didn't JC say that his followers would be identified by "the love they show for each other?"

    happily unplugged from the Matrix,

    EyeDrEvil

  • Sassy
    Sassy

    CeriseRose, before we left, many of us judged those who left before us. That was part of our brainwashing... to be told how evil and how selfish people were that left the org.. why? of course to scare us from following suit. We understand because we were there too..

  • Sunnygal41
    Sunnygal41

    Feisoul! Congratulations on your very first post here, yourself! Glad to finally see you interacting publicly with the forum! I love it when another person frees themselves from the WTS!

    Terri

  • Feisoul
    Feisoul

    Hi Terri,

    I am Feisal from Geneva Switzerland.

    I am originally from Paris in Framce but I moved recently in Switzerland.

    I was used to come on the forum, just reading, but I felt good posting in here.

    I am 23 years old, been a JW, but left the org a few times ago. I feel like when I was a JW, nothing has changed to me.

    I've been raised a JW by my mom since very little, I made lots of friends there, and keep talking to all the JW I've known there. Some still treat me like before, some are treat me like a piece of crap. Anyway, I don't care...

    I hope to know people here, I don't judge anyone bad and I respect every choices of any person.

  • Puternut
    Puternut

    Cerise,

    Be thankful that you are seeing a new light. What you did or didn't do in the past, is not always changable. But you learned from it, and now you are trully compassionate towards other people. We have all done the same thing up to a point. But beating ourselves up for that is not productive. Life goes on, and we take the experience of it all, and make the best out of it.

    Puternut

  • CeriseRose
    CeriseRose

    Thanks for your responses. I know I'm not the only one who has gone through this and I guess that's why I wanted to post. Partly because I needed to for me, to be true to myself and the values I want to hold now. And partly because I knew out of anyone in the world, you all would understand.

    I'm not beating myself up about it; I don't really run on regrets. That's who I was, I've 'seen the error of my ways' and now want to set the record straight.

    *hugs*

    Welcome to the board Feisoul!

    Sunngal41 I left a post on your Astrololgy thread but it may be buried now. If you have any response, I'd love to hear it. :)

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