Will you be my followers?
Will you adore me?
*starting his 3rd beer*
I wanna start a religion
by JH 13 Replies latest jw friends
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beaker
what are the rules??
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JH
No rules
Everyone is saved as long as you give me 100$ a month.
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Dan-O
Only if you share the beers. And as long as they're not one of the pukey brands, like Miller Lite or Blatz or something.
And how many beers do I get for my $100 a month?
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JH
Don't worry Dan-O, no Miller lite or anything like that.
Just the best beer on the market.
Meanwhile I'll read this, it might give me ideas on how to start a religion.
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JH
I think I stand a good change of finding followers here.
*Letting his beard grow and putting on his sandals*
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Dan-O
I like the concept. I think I'll hold my first service in a tree-lined, grassy area along the Wabash River, tomorrow at 11:28 a.m. Those interested may join me for an informal get-together at the driving range around 11:00, with the full 18 hole service to follow. Beers will be served throughout the service, which should last until approximately 3:30 p.m.
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Corvin
Getting Started Set your sights small at first ? found a cult. It may even be necessary to found two or three cults. Keep at it until you get it right. Certain equipment is deemed essential: candles, beads, tambourines and drums. Collection cups, of course, and poster paint.
They forgot to mention the other essential equipment: a green Bible, magazines, tracts, booklets, books, rotary presses and volunteer workers who never question.
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rocketman
Interesting JH.....but personally, I'm waiting for Xena to start a religion. I would gladly worship her.
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Waygooder64
Great Idea! Here is a list of do`s and don`ts
1. You can`t wake anyone up on a Saturday to tell them about your religion.
2.You can`t wear white socks with a suit.
3.If you clean office buildings or windows for a living you have to pay extra to get in.
4.You can`t use phrases like " This old system" or '' I`m so glad I`m in the truth".
5.You can have sex anyway you want, as long as it does`nt involve kids or animals.
6.You can`t change the rules in mid stride and chock it up to "gaining new light".
7.If your kids don`t want to be in your religion, still have them over for a meal.
8.If you have friends in the religion and they want no part of it anymore,have them over for a meal also.
9.If you want to buy a 4 door car, buy it because it looks cool.
10.Little kids will ALWAYS have a birthday party.