Metrosexuals...

by FMZ 33 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  FMZ

  Just recently, I have come out of the utility room. It's kinda like coming out of the closet, but not quite as serious. You see, the utility room is the straight man's closet, cause there are tools in there and stuff.

  You see, lately, I have for some reason become interested in men. More specifically, one man... me. I have actually been taking care of myself and my body, and I'm loving it. Being a metrosexual essentially involves being a heterosexual guy, who isn't ashamed of doing everything a woman is (apart from the whole "bleeding from the genitals" thing, which should never be mentioned at the pub).

  I have been working out (normal for a guy anyway), moisturizing, going to a tanning salon, drinking nothing but water, I am even considering going for a massage, wearing pant...... never mind that last one.

  Well here is your chance guys... if you want to come out of the utility room now, shout out the metrosexual cheer:

  "We're here, and we're not queer! We just want to treat ourselves well and feel good about ourselves! We know this cheer is a little long, but there is nothing that rhymes well with metro!"

  FMZ
• 

  Corvin

  Here! Here! I have always been a metrosexual long before it was trendy. I was doing ionmin clay masks while bench pressing back in the mid 80's. I even bought my meeting suits from Chess King! I did, however, draw the line at wheatgrass enemas . . . sorry Susan.

  Corvin
• 

  arrowstar

  Ok...little newbie metrosexual....here's a quiz and no fair askin' the wifey.....

  According to Carson, wire hangers are

  a. Ideal

  b. Evil

  c. Acceptable

  Lisa of the out of the broom closet class
• 

  Corvin

  ooh! I know I Know!
• 

  arrowstar

  Corvin -

  That's because you've had a head start on FMZ. Was he even born in the mid-80's? (too early for math...no coffee yet)

  Lisa
• 

  Stefanie

  Does this mean that you are now shaving your legs??
• 

  exjdub

  Does brushing my teeth and using deodorant count?
• 

  arrowstar

  Does brushing my teeth and using deodorant count?

  In some countries, yes.
• 

  dh

  I did, however, draw the line at wheatgrass enemas

  yeah, we gotta draw the line when it comes those wheatgrass enemas!

  i think i am just a straight guy, i do what i want and don't think about whether it's something women do too. i'm fairly straight forward, i like things to be very clean and very tidy but i am not into massages, i don't like these weirdos touching me, and i'm not into gay stuff like getting my nails done, no i don't mean that there's anything homosexual about getting your nails done, it's just a figure of speech, i like my clothes to be good, and shoes, mmm, well i am affectionate when it comes to shoes, and luggage, i like to swim, sauna, steam, and stuff like that and lately run a few km every day, but that's just health junk. i keep my hair short so i don't have to waste time pretending to look good in the mirror, and so that it only takes 3 seconds to dry, and if i see an item of clothing that i like, i often buy two so that i don't have to waste time thinking about what to wear... sometimes i eat four heavy meals every day for months, sometimes i go months eating just once a day, (like now), i eat a lot of fruit and i like to cook, and i think all men should be able to cook... i'm not particularly a guys guy, i just do as i please because i have nobody depending on me being stable 24/7... i really can't stand when guys can't look after themselves though, like they need women to look after them, i think that is useless. i think everything about my nature is based on my mood at the time, so i guess i am a lot like women, ha ha ha, but saying that some women are nasty and can't look after themselves so it's hard to say.

  i think i am just a heterosexual guy.
• 

  Yerusalyim

  15 year old son, 14 year old daughter, guess who takes the longest to get dressed for school, etc...yep, my metro son.

  Back in my day we called these people vain and self centered.