Do JW parents ENJOY watching their kids struggle ???

run dont walk

Speaking from my observations in my family ...

Have an uncle, very successful travel business, very well off, both kids in their 30's 40's never had a job, both in bethel and have nothing.

Another had 5 kids , did very well, all kids are pioneers and or bethel kids and have nothing, one just left bethel and now living in a one bedroom apartment with wife.

And they have no future or skills,

Even my one brother, 2 kids both work part time, and pioneer, yet he would never quit his job and go into the full time work, in fact his wife just got a job.

And what bugs me about this, is, they shove it down their kids throats, and yet THEY would never give up their jobs, THEY would never pioneer, i find it disturbing and sad.

And i saw this at the Kingdom Hall as well, anyone have similar experiences ???

I have thought that myself when it came to my ex and his 5 siblings. I would especially think that when they wouldn't encourage their children to go to school. Gee do you want your kids in a dead end job like you are! Also when JW parents don't allow their kids to have friends or participate in outside events. Did they not see how that deprives and can make kids unhappy. I refuse to believe that my ex parents never saw that especially now that they are more lenient on the youngest. They dont make her come to all of the meetings, and they actually let her hang out with friends from school. Oh well guess to little too late with my ex that is why he is my ex and that is why he is still messed up!!

got my forty homey?

This is exactly what occured to me. My Father lived through me. Upon leaving Bethel I told my Father I had no interest in continuing with full time service, but rather I wanted to work or go to school. He refused stating that if I did not continue with full time service I had to leave his house. Now, I'm 20 years old with no real skills, a high school diploma, and its exactly what i did. Needless to say after two years I was homeless drug addicted and then my Father made me confess my sins to the local body of elders for a quick disfellowshipping.

After many years I asked my Father why did these series of events occur and his answer was that he always wanted to pioneer and be a full time servant and that he was living that through me. Well holy shit I said to him, why aren't you a pioneer now???!!!! Your retired and get a pension.?

What a miserable meaningless existence life is huh?

Junction-Guy

It used to bug me when there would be an elder give a talk from the platform and he was discouraging college and careers, when several of these well off elders became jw's after they went to college and secured high paying jobs, it seemed almost hypocritical. I believe in the case of my father that he actually wanted us to have it harder than he did growing up. Most good parents nowadays will bend over backward to make sure their kids have a better life than they did.

dustyb

well, i have to say yea. so far, two of my old friends that i grew up with as witnesses are no longer witnesses. one's a drug addict and the other is just yea................... i say they like watching suffer.

4JWY

I didn't enjoy it at all - and had been questioning how a religion that expects parents to watch that happen to their kids can be called "The Truth". My kids and their sanity and futures were at stake and I loved them enough to get out and stop subjecting them to the b.s. I was so thankful for the courage they showed in not cowering in fear behind the WTS teachings they'd been brought up with.

JeffT

This is the issue that pushed me over the edge. We had been to a circuit assembly in the spring of 1988 that was nothing but "do more, don't go to school, don't waste your time on this old system, blah blah blah."

Our two oldest kids were getting close to high school, and I just couldn't see hanging their future on what the WTBS was saying. As it turned out my wife was having serious doubts about some doctrinal issues. We were out within about six months, although the DA letter didn't go in the mail until the March of 1989.

blacksheep

I see where you are going, but not sure it's entirely a JW thing. Years ago I read a great book entitled "Toxic Parents." (One wonders why I read it). Anyway, I recall something about toxic parents not wanting their children to do better than they have done.

Now, I was raised as a JW (mother believing and controlling the house, father the unbelieving supportive breadwinner). My mother, ironically, always used to "brag" on how smart, successful my dad was: how he made more money than most people. Now I come to find out that *I* (inflation factored in) as his daughter, make far more, have achieved far more both educationally and economically, and own a much better home (bought by myself) than he did. Not putting him, down, but...

I really do think there is something in Toxic Parents that makes them want to constantly feel superior to their children. The children should not aspire to, or certainly not achieve, better weath than they have.

But, you know, the fact the JW's are SO screwed up...I can see where the "toxic parent" syndrome comes into play.

Great point.

Larry

Amen to all of that! Like 40 say, I knew elders who was retired and never pioneered. And to make matters worst, some of them were PO's which meant they were in charge of assigning the service meeting parts - Guess what? They never assigned themselves for the service meeting parts about pioneering and doing more for J-Hover. I also remember the BORG encouraging the family to have at least one pioneer in the fam. This way the Elders and/or MS could say 'Yeah, I can't (don't want to) pioneer but at least I'm supporting a family member in the field.

Oh back to the original question - Yes, the hard core JDubs like wathcing their children suffer in the name of J-Hover. (Happy of the poor - blah, blah, blah). More suffering means more recognition and stage time.

On the flip side, many JDubs just love it when an ex-jdub leaves and does bad - They become the proveribal saying - "see what happens to so-and-so when they leave the BORG." However, their jaws are tight when an ex-jw does well - They say "well, they may have so-and-so but they don't have J-Hover's spirit.

Peace - LL.

Mulan

I did not enjoy watching our kids struggle. Our eldest was not going to do much with being a JW, and the second one wanted nothing more than to play sports. It hurt so much to not let him do it. The youngest two (including Princess) were more inclined to be JW's in the traditional sense, but even for them it was not something that came naturally. Their father, the elder, would tell me to back off on trying to get them to pioneer, and would say things like "not everyone will pioneer" and "not all boys want to go to Bethel".

Somewhere along the line, it all sunk in, and I just rejoiced in them finding what made them happy. I know that is not typical though.

My mother was a very driven JW, and pioneered when I was young, and later whenever she could do it. My father was a JW, but not very involved (he was a workaholic doctor) and he always told me I could do and be anything I wanted. So, I got married very young and had babies, which was what I really wanted to do. Mom was all for it too.