Hello folks,
I decided to start a new topic and introduce myself. Then rattle on about a few things too.. bare with the long intro...
I have already made a couple of posts and before I go on any further I decided to introduce myself to you all.
My name is Nick and I live in Canada. I am originally from the U.K. I am 37 years old. 12 years ago I came out of the Jehovah's Witnesses Organisation. I studied relentlessly for 18 months and was on fire with learning. It was the greatest thing that had ever happened to me at the time. Then I started finding inconsistencies and errors.
Well, I was saddened by this because after all the searching I did for God, thinking I had found Him, I was lost yet again. I had no support, I had kept my association and beliefs away from my family and friends till I was ready for baptism. Since that day was not going to come there was no reason to make this known to anyone. I was married and my wife was studying hard too. I made comments based on what I couldn't accept and she would disagree. Her eldest brother was a witness in Italy [her home country] so she had a prop whenever she was unsure. I was not even close to understanding scriptures well enough prior to studying with them so when I found an organisation that was willing to teach me, what I thought was the easiest way to God, I was so thankful for this saving. Eventually, without any external influence, just basic disblief and disagreement on the theology I left. My wife couldn't accept going there without me so she left also.
We carried on with our lives and had two children and then life took a turn for the worst. I was in a near death car accident that should have killed me outright but I walked away with just battered knees [only feel it when the weather changes]. My marriage disintegrated because I had gone from one extreme of living to another. I went from searching for God to help me, to doing it all myself. I spent my every waking moment working and earning money to support my family. there was a strain that built between us and we ended up seperating and divorcing.
I believe to this day is because we were mixed up young adults who were so confused now that whatever we thought, we just believed it without contesting our thoughts. Ideas had taken their root and they were there with me for many years of that I am very aware. I assume that my then wife had similar attitude.
So, I moved on. She got custody of the children, which I had agreed to. My children now think I am dead. Their dad has died. This is what she has told them. I watched my parents fight like cat and dog for years scarring me and I decided I was going to spare my chidlren the same fate.
They are 12yrs and 10 yrs of age now. Once I have completed my immigration I will get in touch ith them and renew my relationship with them. They will see that their mother has lied through her own selfishness and I stayed away through my own selfishness. We will both pay dearly for this.
I often reflect on this action that I am going to take with my children. It scares me and fills me with hope.
Up until I accepted God back into my life I was a cold man. Caution as used when people met me. I looked sinister. I couldn't believe it because once they got to know me they would laugh it off as a joke. Something had died inside me. I had turned my back on my creator.
Sure, I had beliefs. I had mixed beliefs. Some where the beliefs I learnt growing up in a Greek Orthodox faith where I spend every summer as a kid going to the Monastery every weekend to be with my cousins, aunts and uncles and learn my doctrine. I had learnt much but I never read the bible. I knew all the stories and all the events but I never read the bible. I had the scriptural understanding according to the Watchtower also.
I was a confused man who decided to just clear the slate and believe none of it.
For me it was better than suicide. Yes, suicide. For about three months after I left the Organisation I was suffering with nightmares. I was going to burn in hell for all eternity and I dreamt night after night of how it was going to happen. As time went by in those three months the dreams faded and as they faded I denied the existence of such a god who would make me suffer so [unbeknown to me it was the other fella doing all the work].
The initial nightmares were so real that I didn't know which way to turn. If I went back to WTS I would be wrong based on what I believed. If I didn't go back I would be wrong based on what they had taught me. What is a man to do? So I struggled with that and thankfully I was able to ride the emotional tidal wave of fear. I look back now and remember what Jesus says. He tells us of the qualities of the spirit and the qualities of the flesh. Fear is of the flesh which is corrupt therefore not from God. Makes sense to me now.
I went about my life and just managed. I slipped from relationship to relationship, town to town until my lfe changed. That's something I will relate to another time. Let's just say it was what brought me to Canada and I have her to thank for so many good things in my life.
This is turning into a novel. I will stop here and pick up on it later in this thread.
The point I am getting at is that if you truly believe that you are not doing God's work for any reason, I would be honoured to walk a path with you and discuss your thoughts and maybe help you with your dilemma. I don't claim to have all the answers, no man does, only God does. But I can share my relearning experience and maybe that might help you with your thoughts. Why invent the wheel when it is already there - in the same way, why struggle alone when others who have been through it and come out better for it can share their experience.
I have so many questions that I have re-answered for myself and corrected the mistakes that I carried for 12 years on my own by doing research and referring to the bible with the help of our Lord Jesus Christ. I am a new man who is not looked upon as sinister. I bring a smile to people's faces. That's a much nicer feeling for me. It's almost as though when I brought fear I was doing ungodly work without even realising it. Here are some of the things I have found for myself through research and self teaching. I can corroborate all that I say irrefutably.
Where I talk about an actual person saying or doing something I have a recording of the spoken words or the actual event that has been authenticated both by it's content or by others who witnessed the event. If one was to go so far as to expect THAT information to be made irrefutable then one may as well lay down and die now because one would have no other choice if he/she thought that lowly of all mankind that they would conspire to such an extreme to create an illusion. Saying that, most illusions are often discovered years later as falsehoods. All the information I have spans many decades and are still taken as factual and honest events.
I can show you how the organisation is serving two masters [Matthew 6:24 Luke 16:13] No man can serve two masters. In this case we are not talking about money, we are talking about something far more dangerous, two minds. The one of the Watchtower society and the one of the Word itself.
I can show you how Jesus is misrepresented as an Arch Angel and how the Organisation stated that angel worship was ok through their own charter. Anyone found doing this are found in disapproval of God Almighty.
I can show you direct proof that WTS has falsely prophesied in His name through their own literature. God says that this crime is punishable by DEATH.
I can show you that the name Jehovah is a false name for God. I know, some may think I am blaspheming here, but I promise you I am not.
I can not only show you that the bible you use today [NWT] was not only translated by a spiritist from fallen angels which makes the book demonic in origin but also that the Organisation actually pushed a demonic book called Angels and Women - which is a book that was wriiten by a woman who was posessed by fallen angels. The book recounts everything that happend from the day Adam and Eve were cast out of Eden to the Flood. What is another name for a fallen angel? How about Demon!
The WTS pushed this book with FULL knowledge of it's origins. Special discount when buying ten at a time.
WTS claim to be against Spiritism [above proves otherwise]. WTS claim to have been neutral during 1914 [WTS bought war bonds to help in the war effort - that's disproven]. WTS claims to have fulfilled these things in order that it IS the faithful and discreet slave. ONLY if it is the faithful and discreet slave can it's words be taken as divine. Obviously, here we disprove this therefore in the real world of truth and lies we see the lies.
Then there are the prophecies that I see many have visited and revisted here. Well enough covered and there are more. [hjere being this forum]
Then we have flip-flopping statements that are also covered here [being this forum] in detail.
So, the WTS can put this all into context by saying that the light may have been dim in the early years and that it is getting brighter. This would make sense if you were going in a forward direction and not going in reverse. I have much on this if a discussion is started on it. I can make a post just to cover this area.
Think about this. If you are in God's Organisation then you are being led divinely. We all agree that the divine is infallible. We also agree that man in fallible. With these two traights, which would you say best fits the traits of the organisation?
Would God put something in the bible and then retract, correct or modify it at any time?
The Yearbook "charter" has done this. It even claims that the correction of praying to Jesus Christ [classed as a special angel] put the organisation in a righteous place with God. How can this be if they claim Jesus is an angel of the highest order and is not God. God says that we cannot worship anyone but him. The charter claims that we should pray to this special angel. If they were so right and there was nothing wrong with this statement why then was it retracted in 1954 and then HIDDEN from everyone?
Ohh I can go on but I won't. I will however answer to the best of my knowledge or discovered knowledge using fact and not clever wording or trickery to help anyone who wants it.
Anyway, it's been a pleasure to babble on like this and I hope I haven't filled you with boredom in the process.
regards
Nick [Left_Field]