Have you ever?

by got my forty homey? 17 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • got my forty homey?
    got my forty homey?

    This morning I woke up to go to the doctors office because of a terrible gout attack I had over the weekend and I just didn't feel like waking up. I relly felt like commiting suicide because my life is somewhat hopeless. The pain I'm going thru, the amount of time I'm missing on my job, the debt is increasing, I just didnt; feel like getting up and doint anything but taking my shotgun and shooting my brains out.

    Needless to say I didn't I went to the doctor, he gave me new medication, at least the weather was nice and I took a nice drive thru Manhattan to Brooklyn and then back home.

    I guess what keeps me going is the devesation my death would be to my wife, my Mother in law and possibly my jW parents, even though they would probably blame the Devil or something.

    Not meaning to bum any of you out, just wanting to know what do you yall do to get out bleak moods?

  • seeitallclearlynow
    seeitallclearlynow

    (((((((gotmyfortyhomey?)))))))

    It shouldn't be this way, and I'm so sorry. I'm grateful that you have people and reasons to keep you going.

    I don't feel that down anymore but doesn't mean it couldn't happen in the future; but for now when I feel down, I blast the music as loud as I can take it and I think about my daughter and I cry.

    Later I usually feel better. And my son comes home at some point during this and he always cheers me up. He's such a happy, busy kid.

    Hope you feel better on the new meds homey and hopefully get the energy to explore ways that might be out there to improve your situation dear person.

  • Bryan
    Bryan

    forty,

    I'm so sorry to hear of where you are today. I'm glad you made it to the hospital, and hopefully he gave you some good meds. I was on Prozac about 2 years ago and it really helped me.

    I know how you feel being off work. I don't know what kind of work you do, but have you thought about giving yourself projects around the house or apartment. To give yourself a sense od accomplishment. Try writing about one of you life experiences. Or build something. We all have our own way of getting through these things, just stick in there and remember that in time, you will look back and will have learned so much from your experience you are having today... and you may be able to help someone else.

    Please realize there are many people who really care about you!

    Bryan

  • natalienu
    natalienu

    Hey forty,

    Don't get yourself too down sweet. Have you got some money for a holiday? Maybe if you are in debt you could go camping for a weekend, thats nice and cheap and a good escape.

    I used to get depressed all the time and I don't believe a pill is the solution (otherwise I would be high on speed everyday to lose weight instead of running).

    Never think that suicide is the way to go - am glad you thought of the people you would be hurting if you did that, at least you know there are people out there that love you.

    I find art a great escape when i am feeling down, put all of your feelings into making something, even if it turns out like a 5 year olds stick people picture!!

    I am sure many others will come up with some helpful tips for you to stay positive about life.

    Good luck my dear, you are not alone!

    Nat xx

  • Dan-O
    Dan-O
    just wanting to know what do you yall do to get out bleak moods

    I've never been in a mood so bleak that I wanted to snuff my own candle. On the other hand, there have been others whom I have wanted to exterminate.

    When I'm feeling down I ...

    1. Listen to music. And I turn it up loud. Mozart. Tchaikovsky. Hank Williams. Buddy Guy. John Lee Hooker. The Stray Cats. George Thorogood. The Sex Pistols. Aerosmith. Six Mix-A-Lot. Whatever ...

    2. I find a reason to laugh. Bob & Tom. Bill Engvall. George Carlin. The Three Stooges. That stupid Frog In A Blender game, or the Gerbil In A Microwave game.

    3. Have sex. A screaming, sweaty boink does wonders to lift the spirits.

    4. Go for a walk. Make a solid effort to not step on any cracks or in any dog poop.

    5. Play golf. Grab a fresh, shiny, white ball and hit it the hell down the fairway. Chase after it. And when I find it, I hit it again. There are few sounds more gratifying than hearing that ball roll into the cup. A bad day golfing is still better than a good day working.

    6. Cook. Find a great recipe that I've never tried before. Make it mine. Eat it like I haven't eaten in weeks. Wash it down with a great glass of wine.

    7. Pick up the phone & call my mother, or one of my brothers ... especially if it's the weekend or after 9 pm on a weeknight ... free minutes on my cell phone, you see.

    8. Give one of the kids (or one of the cats) a "wet willie".

    9. Post a totally silly, irrelevant topic at an online board.

    10. Stare at family members thru the tines of my fork while I'm eating. I pretend I'm seeing them behind bars ... the criminal misfits.

  • Mac
    Mac

    Well, if your depression was triggered by your gout and the resulting incapacities......try eating black cherries by the handfull or get a good concentrate from the healthfood store..take safflower oil capsules and stay away from purine rich foods. This should bring some immediate relief without medication and rubbing castor oil on the inflamed areas helps to wash out the uric acid build up. Just a suggestion

    mac

  • Dan-O
    Dan-O

    I almost forgot ... clicking any of the buttons on the following page always makes me feel better:

    http://www.geekasaurus.com/cornholio.html

  • myauntfanny
    myauntfanny

    homey

    I got that far down once or twice. I find it helps to concentrate on very small sensory pleasures. Get some pretty flowers that smell nice (okay, you're a bloke, but nobody has to know what they're for, pretend they're for your wife). Go swimming. Exhange back massages with your wife. Stuff like that. Little things that feel good. I also find it helps very much to do something completely new, that I've never done before, something that might be a little scary for me. Then once I've done it I get a feeling of achievement and the spiral turns upwards again.

    When I was young and really depressed, a therapist told me that THINKING about suicide as an option can make the depression worse, because you're adding the fear of death to all your other problems. She suggested that I make a promise to myself (not to her) that I never would, and I agreed as an experiment, and surprisingly enough, I immediately felt better. I think maybe if you let yourself be drawn to escape solutions, it keeps you from looking at other possible solutions.

  • A Paduan
    A Paduan

    hang out in nature away from the world - re-treat myself

  • Fleur
    Fleur

    ((((((((((homey))))))))))))))

    sad to say i have been there, many times my friend. too many to want to remember.

    i think that living with chronic pain/illness is something that healthy people just can't fathom; speaking about those who have the illness i do, well, suicide is very prevelant among ms patients.

    my advice to you is make sure your pain is being adequitely treated, talk to someone you trust (therapist/doctor) and don't let the mood go any farther. if you're thinking about suicide, you need to make sure that somehow things are changed, dramatically. please remember what your wife would go through without you, imagine for a moment if the situation reversed, how you'd feel.

    this is advice i should take myself, come to think of it.

    it's thinking about that, quite honestly (what my suicide would do to my child and husband) that is the only thing a lot of days that keeps me from swallowing a bottle of something. i love them too much to give in to my own pain, and i owe it to them to be around for them.

    then i put on some music and usually cry a lot. but i'm still here, thanks to anti-depressants and a man and little girl who love me more than i ever imagined anyone could.

    big hugs, i hope it gets better soon. get help, if you need to. don't hesistate. you don't deserve to feel that way and the world would be a colder, harder place without you.

    fleur

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