Do You Realize How Much Being a Witness Has Hindered You?

by minimus 39 Replies latest jw friends

  • minimus
    minimus

    No sex til 45????

  • Sassy
    Sassy
    What hits you as to what you could've had or have outrightly lost???

    well.. I could have lost my virginity earlier..

    but I sure lost out on a lot of things like proms... dating.. sweet sixteen birthday..

    weddings of friends..

    a larger selection of people to have options to marry..

    Friends who loved me whether I was in their religion or not..

  • sonofapreacherman
    sonofapreacherman

    While I agree that I did benefit in some ways, like learning those basic bible lessons (void of history and context), there is one great regret that I am only addressing now. I went to university without too much flack from my parents -- despite considerable grief from others in the congregation -- as long as I worked to pay my own way. They didn't want to sully themselves by supporting this decision in any practical way, apart from providing a roof over my head (for which I was very grateful). But when it came to post-grad studies, they did not let up on how useless it would be to pursue such silly stuff at the end of this system, despite the opportunities I had. I agreed to at least postpone any further studies in order to keep the peace. I wasn't even baptised (never have been). At least now, 15 years later, I am finally starting the masters I have so longed for.

  • Undaunted Danny
    Undaunted Danny

    To above posted query;

    That's correct,no sex till 45 about 8 months ago,have a wonderful soulmate now.

    Very complicated dynamic,I had a diseased bowel that desperately needed to be removed,( major surgery big time)

    Lived with crippling Ulcerative Colitis for 28 years,from 1970-1998.

    For the first 15 years of surgical practice the 'nerve plexus' around the male prostate gland was severed resulting in 90% probability of Impotance.

    So i had to live with constant threat of doomsday,No need to be alarmed though, cause the 'new system' just round the corner.

    In 1985 a new micro surgery was developed,so when the 16 lbs of rotten colon came out i was not 'neuterd'.

    Instead,I now have a Colostomy bag for the rest of my life.This disfigurement doesn't 'enhance' one's sex life.

    The woman in my life now is very understanding.

    Get the picture?My life a total hell on earth, because of the Watchtower's bogus defaulted blasphemous lies.

  • blondie
    blondie

    I've said before that my abusive family hindered me the most. I have known so many non-JWs with sad events in their lives that held them back. The important thing is not to let these things continue to hinder you once your eyes are opened to the danger.

    What did Rosannadanna say?

    "It just goes to show ya, it?s always something.?

    Blondie

  • happehanna
    happehanna

    No I don't realize yet, but it is dawning on me!

    I had fake dreams and false realities. I had no ambitions!

    I find myself in my mid forties and not knowing who the hell I am, what I really want and where I want to be.

    But that being said, I am happier now than I have ever been. Free to choose, not feel guilty and beginning to realize that I am more than OK! (Never actually fancied living in the new system anyhow, pipe dream that it was)

  • blacksheep
    blacksheep

    I've been out for a while, which might make a big difference.

    But, I think I view my JW upbringing/experience as similar to being born with a disablity: say, not able to walk, to see, etc. You can look at it as though you were deprived of a "normal" experience. I think I view it as, looking at life through the JW prism has in fact allow me to see MORE, to experience more. Then, I look at myself and see what I've accomplished IN SPITE of my "disability," and frankly, it's astounding.

    I think I use my JW experience as a great tool. Few people have had this exposure. And even fewer have abandoned it and come out ahead.

  • Sirona
    Sirona

    Well

    I lost my educational possibilities (they told me no university degree - one elder even told me that the "Worship" book was like an Alevel - all the A Level I needed)

    Lost my best friend from school

    Lost my ability to live and learn as a young adult without the "rules" of JW

    I was embarressed and controlled as a woman

    Humility - remember that? You must be humble. Humble Humble Humble. Unbelievable now when I think that humble means walked on and trodden down.

    Sirona

  • findingme
    findingme

    I regret not learning a musical instrument and participating in the school band. I regret not going to college after high school. I regret not allowing this shy, scared person out of my shell until years after I was disfellowshipped. I regret not giving people in the world a chance to prove to me that they, too, can be good caring people. I regret not getting to know my "wordly" dad and relatives better.

    On the positive side: I appreciate education much more now than I ever did. Also, I believe I am a kind, considerate, empathetic person because of spending my childhood/early adult life as a JW (not sure if this is a good or bad reflection on JWs or not). Finally, I would not be with my wonderful hubby now if it were not for my previous marriage/divorce/disfellowshipping. My life as a JW was a path that led me to where I am now. Interesting: moved to new town as newlywed to Ministerial Servant, tried to make it work, couldn't, divorced, disfellowshipped, married "wordly" guy in same town......hmmmm.

  • natalienu
    natalienu

    We need to have our own convention this year and the topic can be "Lets Get Drunk and Stoned and Have A Mass Orgy!"

    Then everyone can catch up on what they missed out on in one hit!

    Feel the love baby!

    Nat xx

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