Can you believe this?

by staceman 23 Replies latest jw experiences

  • staceman
    staceman

    Even I am pretty shocked at this one...

    My daughter who is 20 years old and df'd for about 2 years now is attending meetings again. But yesterday she tells me that she didn't feel like going to the meeting and that her mom probably wouldn't even know that she wasn't there. Well, I said, don't you sit by her? And she tells me that they won't let her! I mean HUH? They won't let her sit by her mom? Has anyone else heard of such a thing? She said that some 'brother' complained about them sitting next to each other so now they won't allow it. Holy cow..

    Unreal....

  • Scully
    Scully

    This is sad. The Brother? obviously doesn't know how to mind his own business. If your daughter and her mother sit together in the back row (where DF'd persons are relegated, apparently) there's absolutely no reason whatsoever for them NOT to sit together. If this provided your daughter with the moral support that she needed to attend meetings, taking that support away is just plain cruel and unloving.

    They do want her to get reinstated, don't they?? They have no clue that they are pushing your daughter further and further away by ghetto-izing her this way.

    You need to be available for her, since her mother seems to be putting her own standing in the congregation ahead of her daughter's desire to be at the meetings.

    Love, Scully

  • avengers
    avengers

    This is just another example of how these "men" worm their way into families, destroying family-life.

    The ones causing this heartache should be destroyed.

  • desib77
    desib77

    That is horrible! They are so unloving, nothing like they claim to be.

    I also think having disfellowshipped persons sit on the back row is wrong. I remember being young and spending most of the meeting glancing back at them like they were some kind of freak show. Never again will I treat people in an unloving manner like I did as a JW.

    My best wishes to your daughter in seeing through it all.

    Desi

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    Stace, you and I had both been around "da troof" for a long while, and this was unheard of when we were in the organization.

    And they claim JW's don't try to break up families.

    her mom probably wouldn't even know that she wasn't there. Well, I said, don't you sit by her? And she tells me that they won't let her!

    Your daughter has every right to sit by her own mom if she feels like it. It's not like your mom is going to fall away from the organization simply by sitting next to her. Geez.

    she tells me that she didn't feel like going to the meeting

    You know, the cruelty of some elders is what helped push me away from the Witnesses. Maybe your daughter will be helped to see what this organization is really all about by such treatment. They may be doing her a favor in the long run.

    I hope so. Your daughter is too nice to run with these people.

  • Purza
    Purza

    Yes I can believe this because this happened to me. When I was df'd (years ago) my mother reached out to me and helped me come back. She said she would save a seat for me in the back. I was young and the JW's were my life. So when my mother threw me an olive branch, I jumped at it.

    Then after about a month of her saving me a seat my mother got "talked to" by the elders and could no longer save me a seat. I was devastated. One meeting I had to sit by this "couple" who used to be very good friends of mine. I cried the entire time I sat next to them. They were just so happy and perfect (in my opinion at the time).

    It was pure hell and I will NEVER put myself in that situation again.

    Purza

  • staceman
    staceman

    Yes, this is pretty crazy. As a former elder in that very same Hall and knowing those 'brothers' like I do makes it even more surprising to me. If I did happen to still be there and part of the BOE, I would for sure have raised an objection and stated very clearly that she can sit wherever she darn well pleases. At least she's HERE and that's what counts! Ya know? Wow.. More and more, I just shake my head....

    Gopher.... I'll be calling you so we can catch up!!

    staceman

  • Special K
    Special K

    Stupid man made rules..........grrrrrrrr.

    Special K

  • franklin J
    franklin J

    Staceman,

    I would be aching if that were my daughter....

    I would also encourage her to the best of my ability ( short of locking her away) to NOT return to the faith. Leave it behind and move on with her life......20 years old is young enough to do whatever she wants...college....travel...the world is literally her oyster...

    from one Dad to another.....good luck! Frank

  • BluesBrother
    BluesBrother

    In my experience , up to the mid '90's , there should be no objection to her mother sitting on the back row with her. Although the rule about the d/f sitting at the back and having no part in the meeting is well established.

    Erm, I hesitate to say this , but does her mother really reach out to her?

    her mom probably wouldn't even know that she wasn't there.

    Nothing would stop her turning her head and smiling, wherever she sat

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