Lordy, Tina,
Someday, they'll remember us as classy dames, eh?
Things are more like they are now than they have ever been before. Dwight D. Eisenhower
I agree to disagree and get on with live & let live.
waiting
Shooting the Wounded - A Lack of Compassion
by Jang 30 Replies latest members adult
-
-
Roamingfeline
JanG,
I can understand and empathize with the year of hell that you had in '94. I had about five years like that a decade ago.
However, there is something I want you to consider here, when it comes to your motives/actions regarding helping people out of the Borg. No one can doubt your incalculable contributions, but sometimes, there is a bit of a controlling/pushy nature in your actions.
Take for instance your email list, and I'll give my experience as an example. I never signed up to your email list. You put me on it without my request. That's pushy and controlling, not to mention bad netiquette and rude. I allowed you to leave me there for a time, even though alot of the emails you send around are recycled ones I've seen MANY times before, so I'd just hit delete. Finally, when my husband and I made the decision to move to the USA, and I knew one of the email accounts I keep will be taken down soon, I asked you VERY POLITELY to remove me from your email list. Did you do that? NO. You agreed to do it, but here the emails came, and kept on coming. I can't remember if I asked twice or three times, but here they kept on coming. You even said for me to let you know when I got to the USA, so you could start them up again, as you didn't want me to miss the new important things happening. My answer to you?
I told you that I am on pretty much most of the message boards you post to and would not miss anything, I'm sure. Still, the emails kept coming. So much so that I complained to my husband about it. He suggested I notify my ISP. I even reported you to spam cop a time or two! Still the emails kept coming. FINALLY, I posted on THIS board something about you never removing people from your email list even after they request it. THEN AND ONLY THEN, did the emails STOP.
Why am I posting this here? Only to help you to see and understand that Yes, you DO try to control people, yes, you DO ignore people when they try to point that out to you. And yes, sometimes your netiquette is rude, pushy, and controlling. NO MATTER HOW POLITELY SOMEONE ASKS YOU TO STOP.
So, even though Tina took the hard road with you, I think she made some valid points that you might wish to think about. Yes, under other circumstances, I think that post would be a good one. But I agree that (IMO) the post was made to incite guilt, guilt, guilt.. just as the society does.
Please think about what I have said, and ask yourself, why do you do those things?
Sincerely,
RCAtEdited for typos...
-
Jang
If you didn't want to be on the list at all you only had to say so.
You gave the distinct impression that you only wanted to come of the list because you were moving to the USA at a certain time. I then responded in kind.
As I said, if at any time you had made it clear you did not want to be on the list I would have take action accordingly.
Maybe you should have made your wishes clearer in the first instance.
JanG
CAIC Website: http://caic.org.au/zjws.htm
Personal Webpage: http://uq.net.au/~zzjgroen/ -
Roamingfeline
Jan,
If you didn't want to be on the list at all you only had to say so.
REad again what you just SAID. And read what I just said. Now... What part of TAKE ME OFF YOUR LIST did you not understand the FIRST time I said it? I was polite, I was nice, and whether it was because I was moving, or any other reason, I should have been removed THE FIRST TIME I POLITELY ASKED! My reasons for asking for removal have nothing to do with the point of all of this! It's a red herring you're trying to throw into the picture, and not even a good one!
As I said, if at any time you had made it clear you did not want to be on the list I would have take action accordingly.
Jan, again, what part of my first polite request did you not understand? I said "Please take me off your list". The REASON did not matter, it was the request itself that counted. And you DID NOT honor it!
Do you not understand at all that putting people on your mailing list in the first place, without their permission or request, is a HUGELY rude and controlling action? I did not be rude to you when it first happened, because frankly, at first, I didn't want to believe what so many people had told me about your net behavior in this area, and I didn't want to hurt your feelings. Over time, I just got tired of reading the same emails I have received countless times, over and over. So WITHOUT TRYING TO BE NASTY OR HURT YOUR FEELINGS, I politely asked to be removed, and told you a TRUTH in order to give you a reason which would not cause hard feelings or a problem.
To blame ME for YOUR RUDE NET BEHAVIOR is absolutely unbelievable. You're proving the points Tina was making by your absolute denial of culpability here, Jan. Sheesh! I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't just seen it with my own eyes!
RCat
-
Prisca
Shooting the Wounded - A Lack of Compassion
A VERY appropriate title for this thread considering the response from the repliers to this thread. Another case of attacking the messager, rather than the message.
JanG - Thank you for posting this article. I think it is VERY relevant to ex-JW recovery issues.
-
MoeJoJoJo
Uh, there seem to be alot of sharks in these here waters. It kind of makes a person afraid to post anything. Everyone seems to be like dogs that have been kicked too much. Rather snappy and ready to bite anybody. I came here for some encouragement. Why all the bickering?
Personally I enjoyed reading Jan's post. Jesus felt compassion and pity for people."plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers." -Veronica A. Shoffstall
-
VeniceIT
Amen Moe JoJo it's not always like this, although people have been a bit edgy lately, must be the moon!!! I think perhaps we should opent aht new forum hahah.
Well I hope this doesn't scare you off, their bark is worse then there bite!!
Ven
-
Derrick
I'm sure that many appreciated this post as much as I did! Thanks.
Don't let Natasha, her snarling cat or their fan club beat down your good naturedness. There are people in this world who personify negativity. I just tune them out, like I tune static when I'm listening to my favorite radio station.
Rick
-
Roamingfeline
I see. Noone here objects to Jan signing them onto her list without permission, then refusing to take them off the list when they request it? By all means Jan, why don't you sign every one of these people up to your list then refuse to take them off? You've got carte Blanche, obviously.
If you'll re-read my post, all you naysayers, you'll realize that I gave Jan her due for the posts content and for her contribution to ex-JW causes. I also tried to tell her to look at both sides though, and see why some people would call it controlling and trying to incite guilt. I was NOT trying to attack the messenger, but trying to show her how SOME of her behaviors would give the impression of being a control freak. And I stand by what I said.
RCat
-
rock
I laughed as I read all your posts. I laughed and I cried. Honestly, are you grown ups? You talk about helping others yet you waste all your time argueing about what it means to be compassionate and how you never learned it as a jw. I was actually looking for the official JW site when I stumbled upon this one. All of the put downs on the organizations are all false and all of you who used to be witnesses know it. I know this because I've been in your position. Instead of putting down the TRUTH why don't you just admit that you want to do things that you know God does not approve and you don't want anyone pointing it out to you. That is why you are no longer witnesses. I'm not trying to put anyone down, I'm just asking you to be honest with yourself. Stop wasting your time trying to convince others that jw are selfish, egotistical, liars, demented, etc. etc. Because we all know what's going to happen when the end comes. I apologize if I've offended anyone but please, stop bringing others down with you. Aren't you guys afaid of the end of this system? What will become of you? Think on it.
With Much Love
Concerned