WELCOME RAY!!
I have been "out" of the WTS since 1999 after more than 30 years as a loyal sister. I can relate to everything you are feeling!
You have come to the best place you can BE on THIS discussion board, and you will find MANY wonderful folks who have been JUST where YOU are now, and you will see many of us in different stages of our personal development and spiritual growth AWAY from the evil and corrupt Watchtower Society!
Looking forward to hearing more from you, and hoping that you will find the comfort and understanding you are seeking......
hugs,
Annie