Memorial - What are people actually thinking during it?

by asleif_dufansdottir 22 Replies latest jw friends

  • got my forty homey?
    got my forty homey?

    I'm missing the Simpsons!!

    Worst Memorial Ever!

  • micheal
    micheal

    Wow, that sister in front of me sure has a great ass. I'm really glad I chose this seat.

  • blondie
    blondie

    Michael, are you Brother BigLaugh? (see above)

  • galaxy7
    galaxy7

    I was thinking Why do they have a curtain up over a pretending window

  • Ailla
    Ailla

    Sex!

  • czarofmischief
    czarofmischief

    CZAR's Inner memorial Monologue

    I wonder if Jesus' pins got driven through his hands or his inner wrists? I think the inner wrist would hurt more. Boy, that disfellowshipped sister P. Tang is SMOKIN' hot tonight, maybe I'll go up and hug her to welcome her... I'm trying to sit still, mom, really, I'm just a little pent up, sheesh, I'd be able to sit still if I didn't feel guilty every time I whacked the weasel, so I didn't tonight, because it's the Memorial and I wanted to be clean - hey, I wonder if we're going out tonight after the Memorial? Boy, I wish I could whack that weasel... Speaking of which, I think Jesus is kinda hot - oops, no I didn't think that, um... da da da, ich liebst du nicht du liebst mi nicht, da da da... flog the dolphin, pound the flounder, I wonder how many metaphors involving sea life I can create for masturbation? Hmm... I hope that df'ed Sister Tang's tuna is dolphin friendly, if I know what I'm saying, hur hur hur... Jump the Salmon... oh crap, here comes the wine, don't spill it RESIST THE IMPULSE THE VERBOTEN IMPULSE TO DRINK IT that would be worse than trawling for catfish, wait we have to SING at the Memorial? Crap, I didn't bring my songbook - not that I really sing anyway, I just kinda lipsync. Maybe they should tape the singing and we all just mouth it, like they did with the piano. I love Jesus. No wait, I don't believe in him. Wait, yes I do. No I don't. Um, do I believe the Bible? Do I really believe all this? Boy, if I could think straight... hmm... wish I could pull out the trout, smash the bass, or ride the seahorse! gosh darn, I don't think that D'fed sister Tang is wearing a bra! what's the deal with these crackers, anyway? A saltine gets you into heaven? Really? I wonder if jehovah would do anything if I just nibbled one. I saw an acid tab that kinda looked like that holy bread once. I wonder... drain the marshes, okay, I've moved into land reconstruction metaphors, okay, let's pave the highway, snowcap the mountain, shoot the inner breeze, stand up and look at mom's songbook, but I'm thinking hair band: mm-hmm, your love is like BAD MEDICINE! BAD MEDICINE is what I need! oh yeah, uh huh, shake it up... Okay time to go drink away my frustrations - more fluids IN my body is what I really need right now, huh?

    CZAR

  • heathen
    heathen

    LMAO@czar --- Last I went I was thinking wow this is really lame . They start passing stuff and not eating or drinking and I'm outa here . OOH here it comes the scripture about observing that doesn't imply observing . Ohh look there's a cute little babe with a tight a$$ . I wish those people would stop beating the hell out of their kid and go home already . Wait!!!!! what if God wispered in my ear to eat and drink , wow that would be cool and freak everybody out . here comes the wine and bread , glad I sat next to the exit cause I'm outa here .

  • 95stormfront
    95stormfront

    WTF AM I DOING HERE !!!!!!!!!

  • Nosferatu
    Nosferatu

    "Woah, look at that guy! I wish I could dress like that when I come here"
    "Didn't I hear this exact, same talk last year?"
    "Jesus Christ, shuttup and pass the emblems already!!"
    "Here we go again."
    "Crackers look a little burnt this year"
    "Oh yeah, I forgot how stupid the servers look passing the emblems to each other"

  • Poztate
    Poztate

    I wondered if I pressed my car alarm button would it sound over 30 yards away??

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