beauty, brains, money....no luck!

by AuSet 26 Replies latest social relationships

• 

  gods vigilante

  Recently I had gotten out of the "borg". In the "borg" I was discouraged from even dating a girl, since my mother was overprotective and wanted to let me at least be single for awhile before I decided to settle down. Turning 26, I've been able to hang around some "sisters", but sad enough I've never been able to date them. And even sadder, I've never even kissed a girl yet. I'm freaking 26 years old and I haven't even kissed a girl yet. Right now, you might think that I'm not that good of a looking guy. To the contrary. Many sisters have told my fleshly sister that I'm cute but they didn't want to date me. Wanna know why? They thought I was too spiritual. ??? If only they could see me now.

  What I want to say is, I know how your sister feels. I am actually smart and handsome according to my family and friends, and I always wanted to find a sister that was smart and funny and we'd be able to discuss about subjects that most guys wouldn't even think about. However, I had never even come close to finding that sister. I've asked a couple of them if they'd like to date, but they then say they already have a boyfriend. This has confused me many times, especially when they would look my way during meetings and we'd have eye contact for a bit. It's a very disturbing game, the game of love, and especially now for me, since I'm not a witness anymore and I will never go back. It will be hard to see "worldly" women as ones not being from the devil. But I figure that it'll work out some way or another.

  As for your sister, tell her from a witness that used to know (at least when I was a witness) that even a guy feels that way. I've always wondered if there would be the right sister for me and if God would direct me to her. It never happened and I'm actually glad it didn't. Cause if it did, I would most likely still be a part of the "collective" and be stuck with a wife who would probably not be able to change her views. I am glad of the decisions that I've made now, and I will be glad with the decisions I make in the future. Tell your sister that she is a wonderful person and that's all that matters.
• 

  FenceSitter

  I know exactly how your sister feels all too well. Only her relationship with Jehovah is important and there may be a reason why a very intelligent woman has been placed with an atheist (and it might not be a one-way lesson, if you take my meaning). Jehovah does not want to see her sad and he does not want the atheist condemned by his earthly organisation - THIS IS NOT THEIR JOB. Tell her to leave the marking of the heart to Jehovah and his King Christ Jesus. Tell her that is the renewed message of hope for all of us that she has been given to announce to the congregation. Fear in Jehovah's counsel, but not to live a life of fear but to boldly announce the kingdom, for Jehovah is a God of Love, who loved the world so much....

  Yes. Such a marriage will have unique problems, and problems in this system are a sign of life. Like breathing in the city. Will the atheist corrupt the Witness? This is not a question that can be answered by anyone but two: your sister and Jehovah. It is their personal relationship not a colective. She should not be a trial to the congregation but a shining blessing, a lamp for all to see: atheists especially, no? A theatrical spectacle as Paul wrote. And, if the question of corruption exists, welcome it. For it means hope for the atheist who has not a fortifying relationship with such a Powerful Being.

  This said, she needs to count the cost: good secular advice in the world too. All are sinners and fall short of perfection. JWs are no different. Have her do the exercise on paper. Have her map who she is on paper. Have her look at the different aspects of her life: spiritual, physical, intellectual social and emotional. Have others give her their opinion on what she thinks is her reflection on this paper. Then have her look for her complement in this paper mirror of herself. If the costs are acceptable, then Jehovah gave her a brain and a will and she should proceed with her own decision. If it is wrong, we are imperfect and all fall short of the glory of God.

  Otherwise, perfect in the knowledge of good and evil, we would hold ourselves to the standing of a God.....*coughsatanismcough* Anyone that misses the point, setting themself above God as a God has not read the NWV of the Holy Scriptures at 1 Peter 5:3 "....neither as lording over those who are God's inheritance, but becoming examples to the flock."

  As for "marry only in the Lord," my interpretation (as good as any Governing Body I'd surmise) is that certainly she should weigh very carefully the place she will put her single freedom. As she first married within the lord (prayerfully approaching Jehovah prior to baptism) so should she approach this second marriage. Marry within the Lord means NOT to seek departure from her marriage contract with her partner later. Therefore, marry within the Lord, means to count the cost as this will be her cup from which she may choose to drink. Yes, marry before Jehovah and physical witnesses, calling upon herself and her partner the blessings of the Creator and His Heavenly Organisation. No matter the loving counsel of the shepherds, they do not live with the decision afterward. It may prove to be a bigger stumbling to your sister not to be married - but only your sister can possibly answer this.

  gods vigilante, a word of wisdom if you will pardon my counsel, you will NOT find worldly women much more accepting of you. In fact, if you are genuinely an engenue, they may take advantage of you. The dating game in the world is rough and fast and there is a common justification for what is done as "we used each other," regardless of how demonstratively untrue this statement may be. This may not be something you will have heard from a sister in good standing. If you wish to suss me out on this, I would be more than happy to accept your PM.

  FenceSitter.
• 

  Sirona

  Fencesitter

  gods vigilante, a word of wisdom if you will pardon my counsel, you will NOT find worldly women much more accepting of you. In fact, if you are genuinely an engenue, they may take advantage of you. The dating game in the world is rough and fast and there is a common justification for what is done as "we used each other," regardless of how demonstratively untrue this statement may be.

  You think JW women are so pure? A non-JW woman is no more likely to take advantage than a JW woman! Believe me, I was a JW woman and I know what they say to each other about their boyfriends / husbands. Most JW women marry young to escape their family, or to "fit in" in the congregation. They're mostly not interested in intelligence or education, because they're taught that what really matters is how many hours the guy is preaching and how many talks he does - FACT. They use the JW man as a ticket to more freedom out of their parent's house, or simply as a status symbol within the congregation. Most JW women I know told me that they didn't truly love their husband when they married him. Half of them were desperate to be allowed to have sex and the only way they could do this is by marrying! Seriously.

  Contrast that with "the world". Yes, some women may use people, but there are women out there who marry because they love the man. Most women marry because of the qualities they see in him - kindness, compassion, industriousness etc. Lets face it, it isn't all about sex because we can get sex anywhere - when you marry its about a relationship for life.

  So I'd say that an intelligent JW guy should go and find a genuine woman who appreciates his intelligence and his drive (career-wise) aswell as his other qualities. Why waste himself on a woman who just wants him as a status symbol or escape route?

  Your post makes it clear that you don't know anything about people (I mean non-JWs that is). Try getting to know some "worldlies" properly, you'll find they're much more genuine than any JW ever was.

  Sirona
• 

  dh

  Have her E-mail me. I'll help her get over the J-dud duds! Maverick

  yah, me too
• 

  FenceSitter

  [. . . . .] they're much more genuine than any JW ever was.

  Seems a tad over generalized to be less than a personal axe to grind, IMHO, Sirona.

  In any event, gods vigilante will have to learn the truth of this for himself as direct counsel is seldom ever effective. I spoke from good conscience and agree with you: worldly women are not better than JW sisters. Worldly women, in my experience with them, are certainly more "hardcore" than your new light on them and they use escape the same as the sisters in your experience. As they (are encouraged to)answer to no one higher than themselves, by and far, this is a consideration for gods vigilante.

  FS.
• 

  The Angry Atheist

  good dudes are few and far between.

  tell her to call me.

  hahahh, just a joke if she wants to meet a good guy she'll have to leave that nut bin of a church and go to a punk show. if she goes there she'll find a bunch of self confident guys who are used to dealing with problems and are accusdomed to over coming adversitie. an whats better is they'll not judge her if she puts on a few pounds or sumpin.

  note: they will kick her ass if she judges them. they are a group of people that dont make a lot of sence. the nicest and meanest bunch i have ever had the extreem pleasure of meating. but they will protect her and of companionship at any and all circumstances. up tthe punx!

  sincerly,

  the angry atheist
• 

  The Angry Atheist

  you know why the atheist was such a good'in?

  bcause he beleaved his only chance at utopia was to create it here on earth, now, with her.