Some days I really hate having been a dub...

by Abaddon 18 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  SYN

  Hi Abaddon,

  I really think your problem is astrological, too. Those planets, y'know...

  Just kidding. Yeah, it can be hard to get your shite together sometimes. For me, I have a lot of people depending on me to do a good job at work. I can't do a bad-to-middling job - everybody depends on me to do a good job, so I really don't have a choice - I have to do my work, and do it well!

  Sometimes that can be the only incentive, really. Yes, a big chunk of our lives was taken away. Screw the Tower, etc. But you gotta look ahead to THE FUTURE! Because that's the only thing we have the power to change in our lives...

  Enough of the motivational bull. Dude, you're one of the best posters here, don't put yourself down. Whenever I see one of your posts, especially on a thread started by one of the more "interesting" posters, I rub my hands together in anticipation for another lovely Abaddon-style flaming! So there! You have at least one big fan!
• 

  Celtic

  And ere I was thinking you were one of the most altogether individuals I know.

  In a way I'm glad you're going through this, not in that negative sense though, thats not my drift. I'm glad cos obviously I'm not the only one this is happening to. I have just the same and recently it's been really bugging me, same ruddy issues.

  This is why I only harumph these days by and large. I need training in this department I reckon yet still. If you Abaddon give me a hand with my deficits, I'll willingly sort out your time management, on the way, we'll play tennis and cricket as I race you up the ladder.

  Write me anytime, twould be good to speak with you again.

  My absolute kindest regards and all best wishes.

  Mark
• 

  talesin

  Yes, abbadon, I feel the exact same way at times - it's like I can do a lot, but something just does not quite 'click'.

  Sometimes it's hard for me to really 'see' the future - it's as if I don't really believe deep inside that there is one. Consequences of growing up believing in Armageddon? A possibility. On the one hand, it's easy to intellectualize and be smart about a lot of things, but on the other, there are some areas where one just seems 'stuck'. It's more of an emotional thing as opposed to logic, and that's what is so frustrating and can be very depressing at times. Almost as if there is a key, and if we can just find it, we can make this 'work'.

  talesin
• 

  Celtic

  Here here
• 

  beckyboop

  (((((((((((Abaddon))))))))))) Sorry to hear that you are down, and maybe stuck in a rut. I hope you find whatever you need to figure things out and move forward. It seems like many here (myself included) empathize with what you're going through; and IMO, things like the jw crap, our personalities, as well as other things (like astrology) all contribute to who we are and where we can get stuck. I personally am helped when I can either read or talk to others to get a good perspective. Good luck! BTW, my boyfriend and I will be arriving in Amsterdam Thursday morning, and have tentative plans to meet up with Vivamus and Avengers on Sunday. If you're interested, please contact Avengers to get the final arrangements. Hope we get a chance to meet you! Becky
• 

  talesin

  Oy, I almost forgot ,,

  {{{{{Abaddon}}}}}

  sometimes it's just not easy being green ... take heart, VOR, you will feel better 'tomorrow'
• 

  DanTheMan

  . I have problems completing things

  Yeah, I can relate to that statement especially. I start a lot of books that never get finished, also at the rate I'm going I'll get my college degree by the time I'm 60 or so.

  My house is a royal embarrassing mess a lot of the time too, which bothers me.

  There's lots of screwed up people in the world, JW's hardly have a monopoly on dysfunctional childhoods.
• 

  donkey

  Yet I always hide from reality in some way; chiefly financial. I am utterly shit at time management. I have problems completing things.

  Ab,

  Your post was a little vague. Hiding from reality, chiefly financial...

  I assume that you hate administrative drudgery and therefore don't do it because it adds little value until you are asked for it later and in your heart you know it is a necessary evil...correct me if i am wrong.

  If I can help you in any way let me know,

  Donkey
• 

  Abaddon

  RunningMan: Thanks. I agree that we have to be careful what we attribute to our past as Dubbies, and what we have to take responsibility for as character faults.

  frankiespeakin: I am considering talking to 'someone' (i.e. professional), but being British and a big skeptic, I find the idea distasteful and invasive. Took me long enough to get what I have thus far got out out without some sandal-wearing motherf*cker re=programming me.

  As for pot, I know the good points and bad points. The bad points are that if provides a solution for feeling bad, without actually impacting the causes of feeling bad. It also, as you point out, tends to make you put of doing today what should have been done five months ago.

  Mulan: Thanks!

  acsot: Thank you too. Yeah, problem is that I can now see the difference between the parenting I got and the parenting someone fairly normal got, and I can see the deficiencies and lack of focus in real-world areas that my Dubbie parents inculcated in me match the areas where I have problems, or I have problems in areas where I developed coping mechanisms to make life as a Dub more bearable. SO although the actual theology of the Dubs isn;t to bvlame, the life-style and aspirations, if you will, of the average Dub have left me with gaps in my education. I can do Stochiometric (sp?) reactions but can't balance my bank account!

  Sassy: Seems we're on the same page...!

  SaintSatan: Humour helps (you half-witted she-goat)

  SYN: Thank you very much. Of course, I might just have a surfit of feeling sorry for myself. I have been thinking about the future, along the lines of "the best revenge is living well", it helps.

  Celtic: Hiya Mark and thanks. The 'together' thing is half-act half-reality and occasionally half-arsed... I'm dead busy this week but will drop you a line soon.

  talesin: "Sometimes it's hard for me to really 'see' the future" YES! I mean, HELL YES!! Why am I still living like the future will sort itself out magically, as we all used to believe? Thank you, that helps.

  beckyboop: I'll see what we're doing over the weekend, but it's a bit late and I think we've plans. If you haven't got a hotel sorted, try http://www.winston.nl/, it's central, clean, cheap. If you smoke pot, go to http://www.rokerij.net/, it's one of the most characteristic coffee shops in the city; go to the one near Liedseplein; you'll see a Burger King on one side of the square, the Rokerij is in the street behind the Burger King, on the opposite side of the road from th back of the Burger King. And go to the Anne Frank house. It's the most impacting 'tourist' experience I've ever had. Tahnks and have fun!

  DanTheMan: Oh, I finish books, several a week. It's actual 'stuff' I don;t finish... I have a wine rack that is still a 3 meter long piece of wood, for example...!

  donkey: It's evading doing the druge work of accounts. It's hiding from the fact we need to economise... I'm working full time whilst my gf is finishing conservatory whilst working part-time. We're both in our thirties and we need to live more like students than most people our age. In additon to a reduced income (due to my gf studying) we also have increased needs; my kids live in another country, I see them regularly, and each trip is over a quarter of my monthly pay check. Old maxim; income x, expenditure x = whoopie!, income x expenditure x+ = ohshitohshitohshit!