I knew a long time before the last straw that there would be one. I didn't know why or haow but it had to be coming. I had stopped going to meetings (Mr.Panda was going but was stepping down as elder) So an older super nice brother came over for an afternnoon visit. He asked me if I were ever coming back and if there was any help he couold give me. Since I liked him I just said no and to my amazement we went on to talk about my first year in Chinaand when would I leave the next fall. Right then I knew I told him the truth I wasn't ever going back. ANd you know what...he never told anyone. This is the same brother who was in a car crash near Bulverde and StoneOak which was actually on TV. He was unconscious and the wife kept shouting no blood. They both died but I wonder sometimes if he wouldn't have showed that blood card. Watching people die, firends die on television is surreal sort of punishment. I wish I hadn't seen that.
BUT my real last straw was when my best friend who was an alcoholic had quit drinking and started up again. SHe was emotionally abused by her perfect PO husband (who was having an affair at the time with a married soon divorced pioneer fro santaFe. So I felt that she needed help. Plus one evening after going out for a few drinks we drove to the POs house and he started tickling and wrestling a frind of mine. She wanted no part of this, it was a mess. So when I reported his behavior guess what...they only wanted to know about the wifes drinking. I thought this is too ridiculous. And then I left.
Wow, that was the long and the long of it! Panda