Earlier a thread emerged, as they do so often, on whether or not God existed. I stated that he does, unequivocally and without doubt. I refused to preface the statement with the phrase "I believe". In the heat of the debate, I came off as arrogant, which was not my intent.
I was asked to provide proof that God existed - and I refused, for the stated reason that there is no proof that cannot be dismissed by people unwilling to believe. Ergo, any attempt I made to present evidence would merely open up my private life and private faith to the public for no good reason.
However, it occurred to me that I was being overly concerned with my own image; perhaps I was being prideful in being unwilling to risk humiliation for my belief. It has been my experience that no step taken from good motivations can have entirely negative consequences, so, out of the best of intentions, I will now lay out my arguments for God.
Dr. Watson made a good point when he said that there was a need for extraordinary proof that God exists. The claim, he said, was extraordinary and the burden of proof rested on the believer. Very well - I shall make some extraordinary claims in my little essay here, and as for proof, well, you shall see what I have to offer.
My current expression of faith is not bound to any creed. The thing that is most difficult for cult escapees to realize is that God simply does not reach humans through other humans, except incidentally. There is no "divine right of kings" for instance, neither is there any one "true religion". Most religion is one simple truth, watered down, flavored and packaged until you don't recognize it anymore - namely, there is a God who loves you and wants you to love your neighbor.
Now, the faith I have is highly personal. God speaks to me, guides me, as an individual and as the head of a small family. He also speaks to my wife. We'll go into the details of that communication later.
My faith is monotheistic, in that I believe in one Supreme Creator / Nurturer figure, which I call Jehovah. This is a result of my upbringing, and really, isn't it up to the God to answer the prayers? Doesn't he have the option of responding to any name he pleases? So I don't insist upon the use of those syllables.
As for Christianity, well, it was a useful tool for bringing me to this point, but by now I have learned that much of what seemed reliable was merely a "sandy foundation." I no longer think of the Bible as some kind of sacrosanct, bulletproof writ. It is not the Word of God, inviolable and unchanging, although it does have some of God's words in it. And I find that I share with the Muslims the horror of the idea that Jesus WAS god as part of a trinity. I find it blasphemous and just plain silly to think that God could ever fit inside of a man's head. Jesus was not "fully God" as the Catholics would say.
But rather than say what I don't believe, I would rather tell you what I know to be true. After all, I could be wrong about many of the things I don't believe, but what I know is this.
There is a God. And he is personal. He is in your face. He has a definite personality. He is filled with love, but he tends to withdraw from individuals who are closed. You do not need Moses, Jesus, or Mohammed to talk to him. How can I prove this assertion? Prayer.
It is the response to prayer that clearly defines God as being real to me. Here's some of the logic behind my thinking.
Well, if God is personal, then he is acting in the best interests of those individuals that respond to his guidance. If he created all things, then his influence in the universe would be invisible, undetectable, except for the manipulation of coincidence. He has friends among humans, just like anybody else, and people that he cares for more actively than the ones that refuse to get to know him. Since he exists outside of time, what may seem like indifference on his part is actually calculated inaction designed to draw out the best in the most people over the long term. Therefore, the only way to tell if prayer works is to use it and then see if your life improves over the long term.
Examples from my own life, and this is the part I've been skirting from sheer personal fear of persecution, are varied. Two years ago, I was still in the grip of the cult. And God heard my prayer for freedom, although I didn't know that's what I was asking for. So when I prayed fervently to Jehovah for direction in how to achieve a better place in my life, He led me to JWD. Here I found the truth about the "troof" as it were, and my mind slowly began to clear of the superstitious cobwebs.
The torment I endured had a purpose, once I began to pray, and I think that one of God's best tricks is to help you turn pain into growth. My humiliation at the hands of the Judicial Committee was painful, but through prayer I was able to use the experience to grow into a person that is slow to judge, especially on sexual matters.
My girlfriend of that time and I had many fights. We had mounting debts, we couldn't get along, our devotion to our little family was non-existent. But I started praying. My woman held my hand and refused to believe. She wouldn't even say the name "Jehovah" without venom and sarcasm.
But over time, things happened. I prayed for help with our mounting debt, and God helped me to figure out that bankruptcy protection could help resolve that. He sent me a lawyer that was skilled enough and competent enough to handle the matter. This lawyer was persistent, helpful, and polite in all things. In the bankruptcy mill currently churning away in America's public life, the sharks are everywhere - but sharks have a purpose in nature, and so too in matters of law. You just need a shark that will let you ride for a while. But what are the odds of me, a naif, running across a decent lawyer? Especially one that called me back offering his services at a moment when I truly needed to hear what he had to say? I was in the middle of a long, hopeless discussion about our finances.
My wife and I prayed together for the first time, to say thank you over the bankruptcy. The new car that hung like an albatross around my neck was taken away, the horrible burden of monthly payments and insurance I couldn't afford was dissipated in an instant, with the wave of a judge's pen. But on my own, I remain convinced that I would have never taken advantage of an existing legal procedure.
So God helped me find a way to fix my own mistakes, mistakes that were threatening to tear my little family apart. Preserving families is a big part of what God is all about.
More? Well, how about this then. My wife and I were part of a sketch comedy troupe that was actually beginning to take off. My wife was wondering what to do to take care of me, since my bipolar disorder is pretty bad at times and the medication doesn't work. She prayed for a sign, and boom! Overnight the sketch comedy troupe went kerfluffle. We lost a lot of friends, and at first it seemed like a really bad thing. But as time went past, we realized just how negative the whole troupe idea was. We hadn't spent any serious time together for months. The stress was making my disorder worse. My wife's self-esteem was badly affected by the negative vibes she was getting from our erstwhile "friends." It took time to grow into the lesson, as it were, but now my wife and I are married - a direct result of us breaking it off with the troupe. I'm doing much better, too.
My wife's depression was a third thing that I prayed over. After the troupe broke up, she withdrew into a tiny ball, tired, only emerging to snack on junk food and to complain about her appearance. I was on the edge of despair, once again, when I tried praying about it.
One day after this my wife finally agreed to go to the doctor and got on Prozac. Sometimes people just need a divine push to do what is good for them. I'm convinced she was manipulated, pushed, by divine intervention into going to the doctor, after years of refusal.
After she was on the Prozac for a while, her employers agreed to pay for a gym membership for her. YES! She goes every day, she's losing weight, she feels good about herself, and most importantly, our family is back on track.
These are just three examples, three ways in which my prayers were answered. Looking back on my life, I am very pleased that I have found such a useful tool so early in life. I am also confident about the future, that there is nothing that God can't handle and see us through. Including death. As for universal human suffering, I can't even begin to justify it - but I don't need to. God can answer for himself, if he wants. All I know is that he has been good to me and my family, and that without a doubt, he exists.