Just when I thought I didn't hurt over the JW's Shunning,,,,,,,, I dream :(

by LyinEyes 18 Replies latest jw friends

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  KAYTEE

  I found having been out of the Org for a couple of years, how the shunning still goes on even though we did nothing wrong except to ask questions (UN, pedophiles, Blood issue, failed prophecies etc) in a lengthy correspondence with the London Bethel and the local elders.

  I noticed with the established JWs that they seem to suffer from a series of ailments, first noticed when approaching them,

  1. they seem to quiver at the corner of their mouths and speak to their colleague (that they are walking with) as they come towards me

  2. As they get nearer, their head goes into a rapid decline and they inspect their shoes.

  3. As they come abreast of me, they get a sudden attack of acute deafness.

  Is there any cure for these ailments !!!

  For us that have made a stand on principle, we can keep our head up high.

  Kaytee
• 

  Undecided

  It's kind of strange, when something is closed in my life, I never dream about it(or almost never). I think I only dreamed of my dad once sine he died 50 years ago and can't remember dreaming about my mother even once. I very seldom dream about the activities in JWdom. Of course most of my dreams are crazy anyway and I don't remember them unless something comes up to remind me of them. I sometimes have dreams that I can't decide if they were real or just dreams. My brain is kind of messed up anyway lately.

  Ken P.
• 

  Dawn

  (((Lyin))) - I hope it helps you to know that you are completely normal. These dreams are part of the healing process. We have a tendency to push down thoughts that we don't want to deal with - our consciousness controls our environment during the day. But our subconscious brings those things to the surface when it's in charge. I also have these dreams from time to time.

  There is a scripture - I believe it is in Job - that says something to the effect that in our dreams God whispers into our ears. Perhaps it is his way of gently nudging us when there is some unresolved issue that we must address in order to heal and grow.

  I have found it helpful to really disect those types of dreams when I have them. I consider what each person or scene may actually represent - and what is it about that representation that bothers me. It's tough to address those issues, but it's the only way to heal.
• 

  orangefatcat

  I agree with you that having been a JW it is some hard to get over the brainwashing we endured. Or basically we summitted ourselves to it ,by their cunning and eloquent words.

  It seems to me that something is so deep down in us and we were ingrained with their teaching. I mean if you were a witness for many many years, I think it is harder to forgive yourself. I mean I was a witness for 38yrs and I think that one or even two years is not enough therapy to get it out of your system so as to speak.. I mean 38 yrs is a long long time, and you just can't seem to forget overnight everything that was programed into our brains. I my opinion it seems to me that it will take years. I have been out since Dec, 1999 and over four years have passed but at times I still have thoughts that come back to me like a tidal wave. Or I find my self thinking like a JW rather than my own thinking. It takes time. I still have dreams about the friends and my family and they are vivid dreams some of them seem so real. But it goes to show you how deep their teachings cut into our minds and souls. But as the time period lengthens I feel I have a better grip on my feelings. I can't control my dreams and sometimes I wish we could. But alas that is life.

  De-programming is a difficult and a long street in healing oneself. Has anyone seen the

  "Manchurian Candidate"? Its a good movie about brainwashing. I recommend it.

  Well with these thoughts I will now depart and LyinEyes DEDE my friend you are just going through that which is normal and this distress shall to pass. Please except this huge hug and kiss coming your way with lots of love..

  All my love

  Orangefatcat.
  
  
  
• 

  Carmel

  Hey Lying! I used to keep dreaming about being on our 52' crew boat and going down this river that didn't have enough water to keep from going aground. Dang dream kept coming back for years after I left that job. But hey, I'm okay. Dreamin about fun stuff now.

  You need some new stressors in your life to give you something else to night mare about!!

  carmel
• 

  Invetigator74

  I have been out of the Borg for over 27 years and I'm still somewhat affected. Probably because my parents are still in it. When I still visit them as a dutiful son, I receive quick remarks, such as ,"It'll

  be nice to see you come back in the organization". I still accept their literature( I guess out of respect)

  but I don't bother reading it. This site has help me greatly. Not to long ago ,I was attending meetings just to have a closeness with my parents(not to close being I'm disassociated),and then I woke up.Now a days I enjoy the company of my wife( boy was she releived I didn't go back) and many true friends who love me for me and not my religious preference.Step by step I'm building a true love and faith in the Lord . Thanks to everyone in this site for hearing me out.
• 

  wednesday

  I agree DeDe, the Memorial always makes me sad, b/c i know i really must stop attending it, and yet feel pressured to go(mainly b/c my hubby still wants to). Alos we all just saw the Passion of the Christ, and that has stirred up some feelings in me. I want to be free to find a spiritual outlet, and yet, unless i leave this town, i won't be able to.

  Xmas mkes me sad too.
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  Saint Gin

  Work it out. Be strong. Believe in yourself and you will find your own version of God whatever that may be. I am a former J-dub. I am 37 and raised 27 years in the cult. I have felt the emptiness you feel, learned it was not God that caused my suffering and for me, I have turned to my American Indian roots to find solice and peace. Find God in what ever form that you feel comfortable with. Me - I do not feel comfortable and never did, going to 'church' and sitting in a KH while some man tell us all we're not good enough, not doing enough, should feel guilty for this that and the other while I sit uncomfortable in my heals and panty hose only to notice the 2 elders wives in the other row talking about me and God knows whom else as they condemn and shame everyone as not ever good enough. Me, I feel close to God when I take a walk in the woods or say my own prayer. I do not need a man to make myths, stories and rules to tell me the best way to live. I'm a competant good individual and I know the basics to survive in this life. Be kind to others, and enjoy life. I believe it's basically that simple. Don't make it difficult, but find a source of relief for your feelings.

  Best wishes,

  Saint Gin

  Indianapolis, IN
• 

  Fleur

  (edited)

  oh, I didn't realize this was an old thread...welcome gin, I hope you find what you're looking for here...

  hugs...

  essie