Just when I thought I didn't hurt over the JW's Shunning,,,,,,,, I dream :(

LyinEyes

For such a long time, I haven't had any dreams dealing with my JW issues, and mostly I just pick and make fun of my old JW days.

Last night I dreamed another dream about old friends and it was painful. I woke myself up crying.

I dreamed my family that are all out, in laws included where at a convention.....There was one sweet girl that we have known since she was a baby and she was waving and smiling at us from afar.

I was worried she would get in trouble, and wondered if she knew we were d/a. ( of course in real life she knows).

As the dream went on , more and more of the faces of so many of the witnesses started to appear. There were some that were smug and stuck their noses up at us........there were ones that looked disappointed, there were ones that smiled but didnt speak of course. There were ones that had tears in their eyes.

I remember in the dream actually saying,,,,,I want to go back, I miss everyone , I miss my God. I turned around at that time and put my head on my motherinlaws shoulder and just sobbed........not just crying, but sobbing. That is how I woke up.

In real life I have no desire to ever be a JW again, I don't miss alot of people , and I thought I didnt miss God.

I guess sometimes in our dreams some things that are really buried deep down seem to show it's face.

I guess it is just human , to not want to be shunned and it is just natural when you were raised with a strong spiritual side to lose it so quickly and not have that place filled with anything. I would like to believe in God again,,,,,,,,,so I know I will always have a void there , until I find Him on my own again.

I know I just have to keep working on somethings and one day hopefully I will have some kind of faith in God. If I don't , I don't.

But , it just goes to show , in my case, that the healing of the emotional pain of being shunned, and losing my religion still goes very deep .

Healing from all of it takes a lot longer than I thought. Maybe these kinds of feelings will always be with me. I just for awhile thought it didnt bother me anymore. But , it's ok, I know I will address it and keep moving on , ya know.....thanks for listening btw,,,,,,,,sorry this was so long.

franklin J

you will remember the good things and the friendships. ( despite that fact that these people no longer accept you)

It took me a while to reach "safe ground". Two years of therapy and deprograming; and when I was "no longer a candidate for therapy" ( as they put it) ; the diagnosis was "culture shock, adjustment reaction to adult life", whatever that means!

Point is, you are beginning a new "culture"; your life is changing. We all react differently. And it does take time.

talesin

LyinEyes

Don't know if this will help ...

I've been thinking about this for a couple of days ... from what I read, a lot of folks are feeling pretty bad right now.

The 'big' date looms close *Memorial*

It's natural for anniversary dates of either meaningful or traumatic occasions to arouse feelings that are deep. So it makes sense to me that you would dream this now.

After all as JWs, this was the *only* important day of the year!

It makes sense that, at this time of year, these feelings will surface.

We can all help each other with this.

{{{hugs}}}

tal

LyinEyes

Thanks Franklin and talespin. You know I have used this board as my form of therapy since I got here. I am thankful that so many tolerate my ups and downs with the healing process.........lol......

You know it may be just that ,,,,,,,,the Memorial coming up, things said about the conventions,,,,because that is where I was in the dream.

shotgun

Sorry (((((Dede)))))

It sticks with us...just when you think it's finally forgotton.

Next time hopefully you'll be able to take control in the dream and kick some borg ass...

You said you were at a convention in the dream....So when the music starts jump up on the stage and do that wild dance that causes your pants to blow apart. Then while the whole place is spellbound run upto the public speaker and rip his mask off revealing that he is a man-bot. In fact your dance might cause his circuits to overload and he'd blow up anyway...

Valis

Eh Dede...you have an active imagination...Wildturkey in the KH...*LOL* I hope they serve cold beer these days...*LOL* Sorry you had a bad dream D....oh I had a dream that people were in the chat room commenting on my freakin dream...*LOL*

Sincerely,

District Overbeer

WildTurkey

LOL @ Valis. Hey my twisted sick brother this might shock you ,but I did go into the KH a few months ago. I?m not going to tell what I was there for on the board but I was drunk and I walked in with a beer in my hand.

Valis

*LOL* Dude that's why you are in charge of Louisiana...*LOL* bwahahahah

Sincerely,

District Overbeer

Sassy

Hey Dede.. isn't it something about how a dream like that can bring feelings to the surface that you might not even know are there.. I wonder if it ever goes away..

I hope so..

I dreamt the other night about my kids being little and at my mom's and having to go pick them up from her place.. but in my dream it was like current with me out and trying to just disappear from JWs.. and I walk in her place and there is a room full of witnesses from her old cong.. people I used to spend a lot of social time with when I was married to my ex husband. I loved associating with them... and I know just what they would think of me today.. in my dream I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw them all and tried to escape the room.. the whole room got quiet and I thought someone followed me.. I was afraid.. and then suddenly I thought my children's lives were in jeapardy.. amazing how that all ties in.. I woke up scared..

sorry... you are dreaming that crap too...

(((((((((Dede))))))))))

WildTurkey

sorry this was so long.

Dede stop using my words.

Dede you really worked hard when you were a Jw to help ppl, and you were dearly loved by many.

You can always tell the ones that don?t like to shun, the others are self-righteous .

Love you darlin

Just when I thought I didn't hurt over the JW's Shunning,,,,,,,, I dream :(

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