Prisca
Where were my fourth generation family members? you ask ... Staying loyal to the Borg. My mother (the real head of the family-usurped from my weak spirited father) never showed my sister and I unconditional love. She seemed pleased with us as children or young adults as long as we were towing the party line. She, like the Borg, had one way and one way only. All my life I tried to please her, but was always striving, never succeeding. It was never enough (for her or the org.).
My mother and I grew apart (when were we ever close?) And at the time of my disfellowshipping over a year ago, weren’t really speaking. I didn’t even bother to tell her I was being df’d, I thought that she’d actually be glad (she loves the Borg more than anything/anyone including me). We’ve spoken a few times since, as she comes to pick up or drop off my kids (two of the three grandchildren in the same town as her), but it’s very superficial. She doesn’t ask about my welfare or if I need money or help of any kind. Sometimes she spends Daddy’s money on the kids for clothes or school supplies. Lately, although living only 7 miles away, she hasn’t spoken or seen my kids for over 2 months! Why does she need to? She has all the family she needs at the KH.
My sister is still under my mother's 'spell' and fears crossing her. She lives 500 miles away from me and doesn't call. The Borg has successfully divided and conquered my family. We are a 'family' by definition only, certainly not by actions.
So, where’s my support? Never, ever had ANY. I’ve always been on my own.
Francois--Please, share your story some time!
Think41self--How sweet to call me your “new friend”. Now THAT’s love--welcoming me, a stranger, into your friendship circle. Again, I say--a kinder reception than I ever received at the KH!
Thanks for the insight regarding my son wanting to attend meetings. Old habits DO die hard.
Esther--Thanks for your warm welcome.
Waiting--I’d say “Good to hear your story” but, it’s really sad that you (or I) even HAVE a story. The JW organization is definitely anti-women, as any strong women know (or finds out). Strong women threaten “little” men with big egos.
Yes, I’m quite [painfully] aware that I have a co-dependent personality. It comes from not alcoholic parents, but from a fanatically strong, religious upbringing (creates the same insecure, self-doubting type personality). But I don’t [necessarily] BLAME my parents, I just RECOGNIZE that’s a large part of why I am the person I am. I’m just learning more and more about myself in order to deal with where I am in life, how I got here, and where I’m going.
Deacon--Thanks for your encouraging words on the phone tonight. It’s always a pleasure to speak with you. You, like the rest of us, need a purpose in life. Reminds me of Steve Martin in the movie “The Jerk”--watch it, HE managed to find his “Special Purpose” (ROTFLOL).
You asked me if I would like a Bible Study (or as so appropriately abbreviated--”B/S” hummm??!!), my question back to you is: Who would count the time, me or you, since we’re both on the out-n-out? Or perhaps we can find a way to incorporate ‘B/S’ into your “New Religion”.
out-n-free--You hit the nail on the head-It IS hard to recognize and acknowledge that I’m “good enough” and worthy of love. Thanks for saying so, I need that reminder from time to time.
God Bless all of you, my new Brothers and Sisters, may we all find our “special purpose” :)
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